Twenty-Three Years Ago (1998), Labor Day Week-end, I Went Blind

From 1998 -- 2006 is the period I call my "Blind Times."

Today, after twenty-three years, I feel as near complete in my having survived the ordeal, as I might ever be. And, In this next cycle -- and -- likely my last -- I hope to bring myself to full healing from the ordeal, meaning turning the lead of it to gold

Above all being blind made a shaman of me, one who sees beyond the ordinary and spontaneously travels back and forth from earth plane to the heavens. I do this regularly now, day in and day out, among my other tricks of consciousness. 

But one thing I've yet to do with this tale is tell about it.

I don't yet even know how to put words to what eight years of legal blindness was like for me (not black blind  -- thank goodness). Alone, almost the entire time, with only my dogs! For close to eight years.

One thing, I do know, however, is that working with my writing team on my forthcoming Camelot Disrupted: Book One -- Lost Hope Regained, seems to be bringing the tale closer to the surface -- so maybe? Just maybe, I might begin to speak on it.

If I do, look for segments to be posted as a continuation of this post.

More to come.

A Big Week Ahead For Me – And

... the two non-profit organizations I founded, New Horizons Support Network, Inc. and the Small “Zones of Peace” Inc.

Part one of ten parts that make up the whole of my (Anastasia's) still unpublished Random House Trilogy, will start on its way to, at last, being published, hopefully in 2022, and be opened up by the New Horizons/Small "Zones Of Peace" Board of Directors, also known as our Elite Truth Or Dare GAME players (i.e. our Truth Squad) who will work with me from here forward, studying and updating my original Random House manuscript, new working title SURVIVING THE USA, Circa 2016 -- Fwd, with a very special Mss Study Group.

OMG!!

Here we go! My Board and Me!
SURVIVING THE USA, Circa 2016 -- Fwd(Working title)

Miracle of miracles, they are going to join me, after 22 years of interruption, beginning with my losing my eyesight in 1998 but never my vision, in heading for the publication of my entire unpublished Random House Trilogy, beginning with part one, with or without Random House, "G-d willing and the creek don't rise"!!

Out of the moth balls and mice-eaten files, here we come!!

Did I think I would ever SEE the day when disciplined "community action" from my board would officially head me in this direction?

Well, not exactly. 

If progress was to be made, I assumed it would be a solo act on my part. So, their unexpectedly joining me, is quite the blessing!

Therefore, this coming Friday, in our new "Mss Study Group," WE will make a "beginning" through study to head me toward that destination -- OFFICIAL. 

That's what an exceptional community can do!

SURVIVING THE USA, Circa 2016 -- Fwd is on its way.

Also, the New Horizons/Small "Zoned Of Peace" Possible Human, Possible Society Study, Rebooted will be launched this week too, with the introduction of a "Preliminary Study."

Look for details on both my writing/publishing/Mss Study Group and its devoted activities and our rebooted study here and at New Horizons Small "Zones Of Peace."

Blindness and Politics: Body, Mind And Spirit

Bill Clinton lied about Monica Lewinsky -- and -- I went blind! 

Donald Trump with his disregard for ethics, lying again and again, way beyond the norm even for a politician, like Clinton, is now in the process of being impeached.  

And here I am again, blind! 

Fortunately, only in my right eye this time.

Richard Nixon lied about the Watergate break-in, among other things. 

Coincidentally the day before he resigned I was gifted with renewed sight by virtue of a cornea transplant, that served me well for twenty-five years --

-- UNTIL BILL CLINTON LIED ABOUT MONICA!

(The day before Nixon gave up his presidential office, immediately following my cornea transplant, a prophecy came to me, guiding my life ever since to make sense, specifically, of such happenings, the dark side of society and politics, lying and corruption especially. )   

Note: That is the same eye that has now been irretrievably lost.

Isn’t that weird? 


Three presidents lying to the American people, extensively enough to warrant impeachment proceedings -- and -- side by side,  three major, life-changing eye crises for me, a person whose entire adult life has been played out, with much emotional content having to do with Washington politics, business and social networks.

These coinciding incidents might actually somehow be connected in the realm of universal laws, in the soul/psyche of a person, me in this instance? 

But how and why, in the greater scheme of things? Who can know for sure?

However, having lived the many adventures of my life, 24/7, I know the back story. So, in a manner of speaking, the connections make sense to me.

My story is an amazing tale, especially in its entirety when the extent of body, mind and spirit entwining are included. 

I’m ready now for the telling that almost no one has been privy to yet. 

You are sure to find it entertaining, maybe even enlightening, particularly if respecting the interconnectedness of body, mind and spirit holds water for you. 

Even more so, if our present socio-political situation is eating at you, as it has been me.

We at New Horizons/Small “Zones Of Peace are preparing now for the telling, coming soon, in bits and pieces on both Anastasia The Storyteller Radio and The Possible Society In Motion Radio, each with its own unique emphasis.

I think the core of the message I wish to drive home is that it is a devotion to ethics and common decency, including truth-telling and truth-listening, where respect for each and every person is upheld, that is the heart of good, healthy living. This perspective makes sense, deriving from every religious, esoteric and practical philosophy of higher consciousness.

So why is it not so popular, across the board in our country, free as we are, and in our Congress and in the Administrative Office of the President that leads our nation?

Why, at this point in time, in the evolution of humanity, is it not agreed upon that the only safe bet for our nation, long-term, is reliant on these ethics and values?

Why is the search for the highest truth attainable, not overriding partisanship and polarization?

Having trekked the life path I’ve followed, I’ve discovered the critical importance of knowing and acting upon the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, especially for solving problems.

New Horizons Truth or Dare GAME, in motion, demonstrates this like nothing else I know.

Adept at truth-telling and truth-hearing and having discovered the rewards, starting off with what Watergate taught me, and with more than forty years experience leading and participating in the GAME, the ultimate truth-lovers process. I can't help but ask myself, 

“What is this craziness, this lying, denying and corruption, held to as though one’s life depends on it, this refusal to do fact-based conflict resolution that I see before my eyes when I turn to internet reports of the happenings now going on in Congress, the White House and other arms of the government and the media?” 

I ask this of myself partially because I’m trying to understand how the stress of it all, in this era of Trump, reached such a peak for me personally, combined with my lifetime of battling keratoconus, a cone shaped disease of the cornea, to the point that I literally, albeit unconsciously, blinded myself, unaware that my stress and distress in this time of Trump, was paralleling what I did in the Clinton-Lewinsky situation, turning my angst into distress I expressed somatically. 

The human body, mind and spirit intertwined can do this.

Nonetheless, please do not become fretful for me, in hearing of the loss of my eye. 

From where I stand, having come through my surgeries and being quite well on the way to a wonderful healing, I am grateful, not remorseful for my loss is already bringing me gains – in health, quality of life – and – in what might surprise you, in my capacity to SEE beyond the ordinary into greater than before visionary capacities.

I rejoice in this! 

I have traded in a diseased eye that had been producing one crisis after another for more than ten years. 

Now I can, without the distractions of that burden, get on with the business of SEEING from my third eye, the one that brings me closer and closer to Divine reasoning and the wondrous wisdom this connection accrues.

Still here it is, then, right in the midst of the impeachment process against Donald Trump; my poor, dear right eye has taken its last breath and melted away. 

Apparently political chaos can evoke an extreme physical response such as this in me, as, obviously, this is not the first time my right eye, seemingly with a mind of its own, has reacted to presidential malfeasance in this way. “Celebrating” Bill Clinton’s lying about Monica Lewinsky I responded similarly by completely shutting down, shutting out the world beyond me for eight long years, at least visually.

Weird you say? Craziness to think such thoughts?

However, if my situation is compared to that of others, someone else out there in these United States might, instead of loss of eyesight (although in my case, definitely, not loss of VISION), is having a heart attack or high blood pressure over our politics, as well as our societal problems that run across the board, touching so very many people and areas of life. 

That’s how stress can manifest. Originating with our innate survival response, based in the reptilian brain, we humans often react to distress in this way, developing physical symptoms, a form of “acting in,” when other healthier alternatives seem out of reach.

Alternatively, some choose “acting out,” escalating racism and violence.

In my case it was my right eye that reacted, literally melting away, all on its own as nurses and doctors prepared me for my second emergency eye surgery in barely more than a month.

Be that as it may, underneath the sturm und drang of our present socio-political chaos, what is it that can hurt someone enough to generate a physical crisis such as mine? 

What lies at the heart of it? 

For truly it is the heart, literally, metaphorically, body, mind and spirit that is reacting in this way.

It hurt our U.S. citizens to their very core, watching the Watergate scandal unfold, in a way that remains with us today. Bill Clinton’s deceptiveness was infuriating, on the other hand. With a somewhat lesser degree of tragedy, in my opinion.

Why I think this, just now as I write this piece, warrants further consideration on my part. 

Still I was already so totally immersed in writing my Random House Trilogy (1988 – 1998), intent on explaining what it was that Watergate had taught me – and – how New Horizons and myself might be able to offset similar situations, at least on a business and/or personal level, that I had not quite experienced the pain in Clinton’s case. 

In our present circumstances, those of us who are not pro-Trump saw impeachment as a potential looming from the start that very morning after the 2016 election had culminated on election night, discovering Hillary to be the loser, Trump the winner, in the presidential race.

Impeachment was always on the table once Trump, the reality television president and Company took over the White House. Clinton not so much though he did bring his share of scandals, including the Whitewater and Paula Jones controversies.

Now here it is, the impeaching of Donald Trump. 

The U.S. House of Representatives has moved forward with its impeachment investigation into actual Articles of Impeachment to be voted on next week. And I am crying at times – for our country and those who are being dragged through the mud in this drama. 

Digging down deep through the many layers of that which disturbs me, I find grief. The grief in my heart, perhaps like your own, makes its way to the surface as my eyes burn with unshed tears.  

But, as the Christmas song, “The Little Drummer Boy,” asks “Do you see what I see?” 

While impeachment is not a time for rejoicing, lending, instead, a somber tone to these closing days 2019, as we head into the Christmas, Chanukah, Winter Solstice, Hadj season, there is a grander perspective of what is now happening on the earth plane, if you get high enough in your consciousness to SEE that all is well – on earth as it is in heaven.

Update: On Anastasia’s Healing and Happiness

I'm healing, home and happy!!  My BFF, Sue at whose home I’ve been staying these past weeks following my HUGE, life-changing eye surgery, brought me home yesterday afternoon.

We loaded and fired up the wood stove, bought groceries, changed the sheets on my bed and prepared a good meal for me before I snuggled up in it with a good book.

I'm good!

Ready to start writing my next blog articles.

If I'm writing, you can be sure I'm doing good.
Might I even be able to make my yearly quota – at least 52 blogs?
We’ll see.

P..S. choosing to have my right eye surgically removed, at this juncture, was one of my  best decisions ever.

Lots of stories here! More later.

Anastasia with love and gratitude, especially for my team of doctors at Johns Hopkins, overflowing.  Had it not been for their dedication, even doing emergency surgery on me (November 19) in the middle of the night, I was in danger even of dying!

As Truth Be Told, It's The Distress Of American Politics That Has Blinded Me!!

And my prayers and determination to help make things better that propels me forward.

Now how do I make this seeming oddity of myself, reoccurring blindness crises directly connected to surrounding circumstances, sound reasonable?

The crisis of "to see or not to see." 

It looms, dramatically, in front of us and all around, if only we would notice it for what it is and take steps to move beyond the denial of things good and healthy, while allowing darkness to envelop our daily lives!

I know I'm not the only one to be so upset, body, mind and spirit, that severe repercussions are resulting.

Here's my version.

I hope my story will invite yours too because we must get ourselves out of this swamp/quicksand Donald Trump is making of our country with his dark side politics of lies and corruption.

Sharing our stories can help us unite and move past the pain we create for ourselves and others by allowing our differences to become insurmountable obstacles to our innate Human Oneness.

Storytelling is one vitally important way to begin so I offer my own.

Yet I write this with trepidation, reminding myself, as an aside, that Thanksgiving is coming fast on the morrow, so gratitude, too, must also be with me – and – it is.

My various apprehensions arise out of my intention, here, to speak of things that touch so definitively on the emotional and spiritually abstract that I seriously doubt my abilities to truly convey what I wish.

The gratitude, of course, is that I seem to be coming through my eye ordeal successfully.

Overall, however, I am weak and shaky these days. But the initial, excruciating pain in my head and the nausea are gone as physical healing and strength rebuilding start to kick in. Yet truth be told there's a great deal more to this eye crisis of mine, the surgical removal of my right eye, than a purely physical health emergency.

The current politics of the U.S.A. is what this recent blindness episode is truly about for me. Our politics are not merely about laws and legalities, people and personalities are active elements here too. They embody emotions and whole personhoods that also are in play.

My eyesight crisis, at this juncture, illustrates this.

I am in pain, body, mind and spirit. Might you be also?

I want you to know what this anguish is wholly about for me, as the significance of my eye crisis emerges, most directly, out of our present political crisis, through to me and then out to you. You, too, cycle through this pattern alongside me, keeping the distress in motion.

Though, on a personal level, my eye crisis is a certain major game changer for me, sharing my story of it is essential too.But how to truly explain it, as I know it, daunts me.

The center of it is that:

My right eye, the one just removed, has been rather a magical eye and in its new form will continue to be, I am certain.

This I know. But how for me to tell you of what is spiritual coupled with the physical, this I do not know. Speaking of the spiritual, especially on the internet is not easily done.

What I’m trying to get across, what I mean by this is that there is every evidence that my right eye can and has predictably demonstrated, over many decades, a unique relationship to psychic abilities I have developed throughout the course of my life that manifest in my skill as a relationship and community development consultant and coach, abilities of mine that are products of stress and distress surmounted or healed

Isn't that amazing?

Can you believe it?

The alchemical conjuring by the whole apparatus that has been my right eye comes of it reacting dramatically, in a very unique way, to certain specific kinds of stressors in my life by going on strike, by cutting off my ability to receive external, earth plane input through it while simultaneously opening my consciousness to taking in  otherworldly data.

The combining of this psychic ability in me with my many years of rock solid skills and experience is what I am most about, added, of course, to my being a truly fine person in the manner Murat guided me to be.

So there, I've said it now!

Can you believe it?

Take it at face value, what I've just stated above?

Discovering this phenomenon in myself has been quite unnerving at times. Thus my consciousness of the dynamic as it was living itself out became a traditional "gradual awakening," a growing awareness, based on cumulative experience and knowledge.

But, oh my goodness! How very strange it has been to accept that my body, with my right eye as the messenger channels information of Divine origins.

So slowly did I "get it" that, at first, I could barely accept the possibility/reality of what my experiences were holding up before me.

Only with a medically-backed perspective did I even begin to trust that scientific data could be at hand to explain some fairly weird eye crisis patterns in me. At a 1978 Johns Hopkins Wilmer Eye Institute appointment, the ophthalmologist diagnosed a series of problems I was having at that time as attributable to a conversion hysteria reaction, hysterical blindness, a major body-mind-spirit stress reaction!

With that event providing the portal, over time I began to accept, with increasing assurance that, indeed, intermittent eye crises, blindness episodes that happened for me repeatedly, many times, over time, were no accident, not isolated incidents, but occurring within a context.

As truth be told, this is the magical tale I wish to speak of now and in the immediate future.

It leads me directly into defining and describing the underpinnings of the newly developing future on hand for New Horizons and myself – and – you too, if you choose to allow your better self to make a direct connection to New Horizons Truth Or Dare Movement: Destination Capitol Hill.

I hope you will want to know of my story as its implications for the necessary healing from what lies ahead for us are noteworthy, as Americans at this time, on a very turbulent path as we usher in 2020.

Right now many of us are in various kinds of anguish over what is happening to our country. But ahead, “G-d willing and the creek don’t rise,” healing is what we will need.

And healing is what we can find, if we are willing to come together and be "united states."

My story is a juicy one. In its depths lie seeds of how we might proceed with this agenda

The challenge is how, especially on the internet my story/stories can be drawn from me with the richness they merit via the internet, enough to invite yours.

We will just need to see how to do it.

Next I will want to share with you the deciphering of the mystery of my recent past ninety days for the illumination they have to offer – the teachable lessons.

But this will give you only a work unfolding, in progress, with more to be excavated, gold to be mined.

Wishing you a Happy Thanksgiving with hopes for even more joyful ones ahead.

Bill Clinton Lied About Monica Lewinsky And I Went Blind!

The two events are directly connected!

Of course you will wonder how this could be. And, of course, I will say, one more time, more on the way. But sagas take a long time in unfolding, especially if one, such as myself, is after telling a tale on the internet, in depth, not just the surface, so all I can assure you now is --

You will appreciate the journey of my tale-telling, perhaps like a mini novel, leading you to discover how Bill Clinton’s lying about Monica Lewinsky resulted in my going blind.  

Furthermore, it is my intention with all of this, that you will, minimally, gain, from my efforts here an enhanced ability, or at least willingness, to consider that what you may be holding back from "seeing" -- and -- "saying" might, as has happened for me, be serving to deter your best level of healthy living -- and -- enable the Dark Side's proliferation in others, personally, and in our society and politics!

But it will take me a bit of time to make my story complete for you. It is quite a saga!

And, if you will notice, my going blind when I see and try to say what I'm not supposed to be looking at, showed itself when I went blind, again, as I discovered the documents that lead to my present Ethics Complaint. 

Not an "accident," by any means, if you know my full story.

There is another story I’ve kept under wraps for a good long time; the story about how I went blind the day I went on the air at a local radio station to say what I saw about Bill Clinton's Dark Side when he lied about Monica Lewinsky.

Now is the time!

Bill Clinton’s defense against his being called out yesterday on where he stood in cleaning up his act with Monica Lewinsky, honoring the opportunity #Metoo has given him (and untold numbers of other power-over abusers) just tipped the scales, making it my time, too, to add a bit more spice to the #Metoo conversation!

Most intriguingly I just happen to have a recorded documentation of the day I went blind, confronting Bill Clinton lying about Monica Lewinsky!  My sharing it has been in the works for awhile.

Now is the time!

You will be able to hear snippets of those recordings, over time, on my Anastasia The Storyteller Radio Show as we go ever more deeply into the Dark Side Warrior aspects of How We Are Going To Move Ourselves Through The #Metoo Era.

Today Bill Clinton crossed a final line with me, from whence he will never return. 

Not because I am a person who holds grudges but because he is way past redemption!  And a woman needs to decide which abusers merit forgiveness (and why) in this #Metoo era of settling up our books.

Should I say thanks to the almighty powers that be that Hillary did not make it to the White House?

Where would #Metoo be today, if she had?

I tremble to think it!

Listen in this coming week, provided our local flood disaster recovery makes ample headway in the cell tower repair department, as we take another step forward in digging in as deep as we are able on the air to help move the healing of #Metoo damage forward. 

Our show will be all about “leaning in,” as the pathway to healing the wounds of #Metoo that neither Bill Clinton nor his consort, Hillary, and likely his daughter, just don’t get!

Join us for this week’s show – 
Moving Beyond Gender Tyranny: Setting The Stage (Rescheduled Show 2x)

Saturday, June 9 11:30 a.m.

G-d willing and the creek don’t rise, again!

Yesterday our "creek," the confluence of the Potomac and Shenandoah Rivers at Harpers Ferry, crested at over 21 feet!

OMG! The lower town of historical Harpers Ferry is flooded!

Thank G-d we are high above the river, up here at New Horizons Harpers Ferry Retreat Center.

More to come as I am, obviously, Anastasia The Storyteller here and on Blog Talk Radio with a thousand and more stories to tell.

Ethics Complaint Update: Finding Personal Freedom By “Seeing” What I See And Saying What I See

I am now into the fourth month of dealing with my Ethics Complaint and pleased to say that the documentation I need to provide in order for the process to move forward is almost complete!

I expect to finish the timeline that lays out the circumstances of the complaint sometime around the end of the month, with the supporting documentation and a cover letter I will enclose, all in good order, by May 15.

Then off the package goes; a testament to the fact that in the area of my life, related to this complaint, I have freed myself to speak of the darkness I saw and do it without fear or lack of confidence. (See "the losers paradigm" here.)

Bravo! True liberation lies here! 

In the meantime, the growing clarity I have about many things heightens each day. 

Even when I get overloaded and in need of fortification from my trusting inner circle of Sistahs, as I do routinely!  

Indeed an ethics complaint is not an ordeal to pursue solely on one’s own.

To what end that package will take me is anybody’s guess. 

However, for my part, I am doing all I can to encourage the outcome I have in mind; truth, reconciliation and healing! 

Having found my way around the inhumane demands of the Ethics Committee, as I have perceived it, to my satisfaction I am looking forward to what will happen next.

So, no matter what the Ethics Committee does on its end, I believe I am prepared for a fine outcome for me, based, not on them, but on how I am managing the situation and handling myself, internally and outwardly.

It all ought to be quite interesting. Of course I will keep my readers updated, as best I can.

Did I mention that no more than a week after finding the hidden documents, unearthing evidence of sexual intrusion by one of my TA trainers into what should have been a space protected by our teacher-student relationship, I had another major eye crisis?

Perhaps I did speak of it here on my blog site, but not in much detail. I am still rather new at speaking out about my private life in depth. So perhaps I did go light on some of what I discovered. Nor did I reveal much about my eye crisis.

Who could experience such as these and then, in an instant, know how to articulate what has occurred, with anything more than cursory acknowledgement? 

Both of these episodes; finding the long buried information regarding sexual harassment by a once-trusted mentor and then going blind, almost immediately after the discovery, are far too dramatic and traumatic to experience, integrate and heal from one in a fell swoop.

In any event the short version is that the episode left me blind, again, in my right eye. 

This time apparently permanently!

You know this is no small thing, right?  The ethics issue alone would not have been small.

Nonetheless, taking giant steps as I am these days, I think I am getting ready to speak of what I know about the connection, for me, of blindness episodes and trauma, but not just yet, not today. 

When I do share this side of what’s been going on in the last little while, for me, I am hoping you will take inspiration from my tale to help empower you to move through challenging obstacles, no matter how difficult, if you are presently facing any.  A person's sharing, with the hopes of surmounting one’s travails, by helping others is such a reward for the difficulties. We know, at such times, we are all in this life together, at least, those of us aiming for our highest human values.

Meanwhile back to my Ethics Complaint…

Putting the downside of recent revelations to the side, the good news is that I am, now, daily, seeing many things about myself, others and the world around me with expanded clarity; an enhanced view of things that is making my life more beautiful, like the blossoming weeping cherry tree outside my office window, as I write this now.

Also I am speaking up and out more and more about what I see and think about certain things that I, apparently, had been holding back. I am also involving myself in new activities that will, hopefully, allow me even greater expression in the coming days, weeks, months and even years.

This is so good! This is me finding new freedom, inside of me and all around!

Already events are beginning to occur that show me that this unfolding in my life has bright potentials. Sometimes I want all the potentialities to activate themselves right away, as I think I have been holding myself back from opportunities and I don’t want to do that anymore. But I was not yet ready for them.

Now I am; sometimes almost chomping at the bit to get into the next one!

This is the personal freedom I am finding by “seeing” what I see and saying what I see!

Keep sending your best wishes to me. I truly thrive on them.

With many thanks.

Anastasia 

Liberation: Ethics Complaint Update

Somewhere, somehow, almost without my noticing, struggling progressed into liberation.

Somewhere, somehow I began to find what I considered to be legitimate ways around the seemingly inhumane demands of the Ethics Committee; to find pathways that suited not only demands that “felt” solely legalistic, without regard for the human, social context of what had happened, regarding my complaint of sexual harassment and the dominance of power abuse and retaliation for my rebuffs to sexual advances.

As I write this, I am not certain my modifications of the Ethics Committees stipulations will be acceptable to them. However, the path I am choosing from here forward, in order to complete the complaint process that is a daunting task for me currently, beyond measure, is going to suit me! 

And those closest to me, loving and supporting me.

Of this I am certain!

This is how I will tell my story, aiming for the highest good.

What the Ethics Committee will do with my submission is not something I will, now, allow to fully define the parameters and content of the story I have to tell; a tale of sexual harassment and power abuse I have kept buried and hidden, even from myself, now, for twenty-five years! 

Most importantly I am beginning to “see” that the effort I am making regarding my Ethics Complaint is merely an outer manifestation of what I am needing to address in myself, in order to carry out the demands of my soul’s destiny; demands crying out to me to remove that which is interfering with my attaining the best of myself; for myself and the service demanded of me as an actively, participating human in this life.

It is this notion that holds the perspective, lying behind my stating, in an earlier blog article, that “fierceness is not enough!” 

There is a quiet place within each and every one of us that cries out for us to align ourselves with a higher order beyond that which we can visibly see.

That place can be experienced, only through love, tranquility and peace with all living things.

Comfort in that place is what I am now seeking as guidance while I continue, at times, to struggle with the details of my “formal” Ethics Complaint.

This aspect, the spiritual, is more often than not, a woman’s way, naturally. Thinking on this I am reminded of a Biblical phrase --

I'll be a light at your feet and a voice behind you. Follow it!

I believe I see this value in Melania Trump, even in Stormy Daniels. 

In Rose McGowan, I’m not so sure.

What is your way of dealing with #Metoo?

I hope you will write and share “your way” with me. 

Contact me at mountainwomanrj@aol.com with your #Metoo stories, male or female.

Have a happy day! 

The snow is melting and it looks more and more like Spring is truly on the way.

How My Lifting Got So Heavy

Heavy lifting can be an actual physical stretch, or it can be a metaphor. I’m presently experiencing both.

On the metaphorical level there's more to my pressures of heavy lifting than I'm ready to say just now. I will refer to these as the “item to not be named just yet.” 

There is something HUGE brewing in my life, not unlike the Harvey Weinstein/Hollywood/Matt Lauer sexual harassment stuff.  But, first, I need to sort more of it out before I speak publicly of it; in private with my devoted supporters, like Sue.

But getting support is only one part of what I need to help me through the disorientation I am experiencing. I also need continued clarity of thought and increasing amounts of resilience in order to be able to sustain myself through whatever lies ahead; the ups and the downs. Perhaps most of all, I need to maintain my connection with the Source that I have that sometimes waivers. This I rely on most to guide me to my highest way of being.

Sue hauling wood at
our local sawmill that supplies us.

This is “heavy lifting!”

Especially while I’m also still healing, as I am now, from emergency eye surgery.

On the physical  level, though, picture it this way –

On the Friday before New Year’s Eve I ended up having an emergency cornea transplant; the details of which I will hold back for now. By the time I had returned home from Johns Hopkins Wilmer Eye Institute the following evening, snow had managed to cover the ground, making the drive home with my honorary daughter, Terry who had been with me throughout the ordeal, a bit challenging. Also the temperature had turned bitter cold. 

It was to remain that way, off and on, for, now, going on a month. 

Oh my, things were getting difficult!

Heavy lifting, up ahead!

It had been decided by my loved ones and myself that going home rather than elsewhere would be most comfortable and therefore healing for me. However, living in the mountains, as I do, and heating on wood, was to create quite a challenge, especially the wood heating part!

No bending and no lifting of objects over 15 pounds, I was told!

Not that I was much wanting to do these things anyway. 

Still the wood pile was going to be a fact of life for me – and a difficult one at that. 

In fact, my Spirit Sister Sue and I are quite diligent, from around August through March,  we do a substantial amount of hefting mountainous loads of wood to prepare for the cold winter months at both of our houses.

Anastasia on the woodpile

So, how was I to manage now without my usual physical strength -- on my own?

Imagine this, as to how I made it through that challenge -- 

Terry, dear daughter, actually came into my house, picked up my bathroom scale and started weighing slabs of wood to find the ones fifteen pounds and lighter. These she neatly stacked for me; some inside, some out, so that much of it could be reached waist high and above. 

Terry made it relatively easy for me that way. A few days later, Sue came and restocked the pile. 

In spite of this help, that’s when I became aware of heavy lifting!

With yesterday’s snow and cold weather, again, I am very much conscious of the heavy lifting and the no bending that healing from my eye surgery is demanding. Although I am now lifting up to twenty-five pounds of wood, it is the emotional lifting of the “item to not be named just yet” that is making me much more exhausted and disoriented these days.

For this the support of my friends to help me through is the hand up I need most right now. 

From this I gain the added strength I need for my “heavy lifting!”

With much gratitude for those who are helping me carry some of the weight!

The World In Chaos

One month ago today my several months long semi-sabbatical/vacation ended. I had imagined I would then be ready to return to “business as usual.” But it was not to be. My scant few blogs of August affirmed that truth. July, with only one blog titled, “These Turbulent Times Have Left Me Speechless,” at least explained most of the “why.” 

In terms of public self-expression, the chaos I felt inside of me inhibited me as I dealt with my eye crisis which is somewhat still ongoing. And, indeed my inner world seemed to be merely a reflection of the chaos I was viewing in the world outside myself.

The world on tilt!

So now it turns out that I have spent more than two months being somewhat of a cave dweller, mostly just sitting and watching the natural world around me, filled, nonetheless, joyfully with the abundance of summer, especially when one adds in the hummingbirds --while most of my energy has gone into healing from trauma and emotional exhaustion.

Along with this, often I feel myself in shock with what I view that the man-made world beyond has created;  people scared and upset, Trump-brand politics generating near-daily volatility, polarization, controversy and more upset and fear, hurricanes, earthquakes, terrorism, citizen-police violence from every corner.  Maybe later I will see this turbulence as transformation – evolution in motion perhaps. Today the experience does not feel uplifting.

While I have been dealing with a death in my family with the near six month near-death crisis once again of my right eye; almost resurrected and then again no more, the world around me is in chaos. For my part, I have needed to turn inward, almost no blogs and no Possible Society In Motion Radio Shows.  My radio show has been a particularly hard transition for me without Jack Slattery, my co-host of three and one-half years. 

In the midst of all this, solitude seemed to be my greatest comfort. Yet solitude has not entirely been my path. Rather rich, rewarding, ever deepening relationships have also surrounded me during this time. I am nurturing these almost daily in spite of the challenges. In the latter regard, you could say that I am living “my truth;” building small “zones of peace” around me as I do my best to manage a world inside of me and outside in chaos.

I often feel as if I am in shock. Certainly I feel traumatized. I think many folks, if not most would say they feel similarly. The presidential election campaign, all of its own, is enough to conjure up this.

But today I decided to “try again” to come out of my silence and peek out from the cave within which I have ensconced myself. Fortunately for me my cave always has sunshine and green trees, flowers growing and herbs aplenty enveloping it.  That has helped me not have the feel of a writer’s block. Just a blank inside myself that came of looking outside into our world so tilted that I have been almost speechless.

Still, as I suggested earlier, at this time of my “feeling” of speechlessness and as if I have been doing nothing, I have actually been doing what I advise others to also do; building my small “zones of peace.” And, indeed I have many more than one.  So as I write this it comes to my attention that while I was “doing” nothing, everything got done.  

To see what I mean, check out the birthing of New Horizons next exciting project, the Counterculture Community Experiment and its associated programs on “Making Violence Obsolete.” 

Oh my goodness, leave it to an over-achiever to not even “see” what she is achieving. That’s how one gets to the “over” part!

A small "zone of peace"
can be anywhere.

Back From Vacation…

Not all of it fun by any means as an emergency eye surgery took up much of my time and most of my physical and emotional energy these past few months.  So I did a lot of struggling to climb the mountains of my soul while I have also been taking a time-out, wrestling with myself to adjust to the possibility of possibly being blind again.

The saga is not over yet. When I know the next immediate outcome – and – am ready to speak of it, I will update all of you loyal readers of my blogs about the situation. For now I am just beginning to have enough ease to make a beginning to get back to my normal routines; personal and professional.

Still I was far from idle these past two months, since just after July 4th when I declared a sabbatical for myself. Consequently in the midst of my time of ordeal, challenge and retreat, I managed, with the collaboration of my New Horizons Board of Directors, to birth our VERY exciting next project.

By way of catching up, you with me and me with you, take a look at what we have been creating. 

So here I am, now again, ready, maybe a bit slower than usual, to reach out to all of you, starting to write here once more. 

Look forward, as usual, to my having many stories to share; some about my philosophies of living and facing life and its many tests and adventures, others more directly or indirectly related to New Horizons, the non-profit organization I founded and presently direct.

To get us back, once more, in the swing of things, here is a sampling of what I/we have been creating by "order of the board" while I was on my “time off,” ho ho!

• Making Violence Obsolete: New Horizons’ Next Amazing Project (August 9);
• Make Violence Obsolete! (August 15);
• Community Gathering To Introduce “Making Violence Obsolete” Principles (August 22);
• Truly Beaut-i-full And Impactful! (August 30).

Not bad, eh, for a "productive" sick leave. Ho ho. The creative process helped keep me sane and hopeful during my time out. So celebrate what came of it with me, if you don't mind.

Thanks!

(It may not surprise you that with this mode of a time-out for me that I was also running one of my earlier entrepreneurial enterprises part of the time that I was in labor with my son.  Please know, however, that I am now a long way from THAT level of work compulsion.)

Have a nice Labor Day weekend.