I am now into the fourth month of dealing with my Ethics Complaint and pleased to say that the documentation I need to provide in order for the process to move forward is almost complete!
I expect to finish the timeline that lays out the circumstances of the complaint sometime around the end of the month, with the supporting documentation and a cover letter I will enclose, all in good order, by May 15.
Then off the package goes; a testament to the fact that in the area of my life, related to this complaint, I have freed myself to speak of the darkness I saw and do it without fear or lack of confidence. (See "the losers paradigm" here.)
Bravo! True liberation lies here!
In the meantime, the growing clarity I have about many things heightens each day.
Even when I get overloaded and in need of fortification from my trusting inner circle of Sistahs, as I do routinely!
Indeed an ethics complaint is not an ordeal to pursue solely on one’s own.
To what end that package will take me is anybody’s guess.
However, for my part, I am doing all I can to encourage the outcome I have in mind; truth, reconciliation and healing!
Having found my way around the inhumane demands of the Ethics Committee, as I have perceived it, to my satisfaction I am looking forward to what will happen next.
So, no matter what the Ethics Committee does on its end, I believe I am prepared for a fine outcome for me, based, not on them, but on how I am managing the situation and handling myself, internally and outwardly.
It all ought to be quite interesting. Of course I will keep my readers updated, as best I can.
Did I mention that no more than a week after finding the hidden documents, unearthing evidence of sexual intrusion by one of my TA trainers into what should have been a space protected by our teacher-student relationship, I had another major eye crisis?
Perhaps I did speak of it here on my blog site, but not in much detail. I am still rather new at speaking out about my private life in depth. So perhaps I did go light on some of what I discovered. Nor did I reveal much about my eye crisis.
Who could experience such as these and then, in an instant, know how to articulate what has occurred, with anything more than cursory acknowledgement?
Both of these episodes; finding the long buried information regarding sexual harassment by a once-trusted mentor and then going blind, almost immediately after the discovery, are far too dramatic and traumatic to experience, integrate and heal from one in a fell swoop.
In any event the short version is that the episode left me blind, again, in my right eye.
This time apparently permanently!
You know this is no small thing, right? The ethics issue alone would not have been small.
Nonetheless, taking giant steps as I am these days, I think I am getting ready to speak of what I know about the connection, for me, of blindness episodes and trauma, but not just yet, not today.
When I do share this side of what’s been going on in the last little while, for me, I am hoping you will take inspiration from my tale to help empower you to move through challenging obstacles, no matter how difficult, if you are presently facing any. A person's sharing, with the hopes of surmounting one’s travails, by helping others is such a reward for the difficulties. We know, at such times, we are all in this life together, at least, those of us aiming for our highest human values.
Meanwhile back to my Ethics Complaint…
Putting the downside of recent revelations to the side, the good news is that I am, now, daily, seeing many things about myself, others and the world around me with expanded clarity; an enhanced view of things that is making my life more beautiful, like the blossoming weeping cherry tree outside my office window, as I write this now.
Also I am speaking up and out more and more about what I see and think about certain things that I, apparently, had been holding back. I am also involving myself in new activities that will, hopefully, allow me even greater expression in the coming days, weeks, months and even years.
This is so good! This is me finding new freedom, inside of me and all around!
Already events are beginning to occur that show me that this unfolding in my life has bright potentials. Sometimes I want all the potentialities to activate themselves right away, as I think I have been holding myself back from opportunities and I don’t want to do that anymore. But I was not yet ready for them.
Now I am; sometimes almost chomping at the bit to get into the next one!
This is the personal freedom I am finding by “seeing” what I see and saying what I see!
Keep sending your best wishes to me. I truly thrive on them.
With many thanks.
Anastasia
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