Yesterday turned out to be another frustrating day of exchanges, mixed with some progress, on my ITAA (International Transactional Analysis Association) Ethics Complaint adventure.
The progress I experienced was achieved through a rather intense series of email exchanges with a TA colleague of mine I have probably known for close to forty-five years.
She has most generously and graciously been willing to step in to assist, if she is able, to help me untangle the mess my Ethics Complaint issue has become; ending up, so far, with my having, not one, but two complaints: one, the original one charged against a former mentor for sexual harassment and power abuse, the second a complaint against the Ethics Committee for abuse of power and mismanagement of the first complaint.
My gratitude for this abundant giving on her part, especially in the midst of all this chaos, is boundless.
However, the format we are utilizing, email exchanges, is far from conducive for anything other than bare facts. And, even these are easily distorted by the legalese that seems to sit behind them.
So back and forth she and I go attempting to find the highest truths of my ordeal, seeking healing and reconciliation as an end result. The destination, unfortunately, is almost impossible to achieve in this manner, I feel certain.
We are talking, insofar as my complaint against my former TA mentor is concerned, about a resolve that, by necessity, has legal implications; damage was done to me in terms of emotional harm, as well as a significant career cost to me, including monetary.
However, it is not only a legal problem, at issue here. It is an issue, involving real, human individuals, capable of wounding and being wounded, wonderful and awful, in the same being.
The internet does not allow us these textures and tones, any more than it did in the Congressional hearing regarding Brett Kavanaugh and Christine Blasey Ford that we saw last week, ostensibly centering on a Supreme Court appointment.
An investigation of facts is needed here, many agree, to aid Brett Kavanaugh and the GOP to achieve their goals.
But will that put an end to what he has suffered in the ordeal he is going through to achieve them?
And, what about Dr. Ford and her place in the drama?
Will the legalese, resolved one way or another, surrounding her ordeal, be enough for her hopes and desires?
Of course not!
I keep wondering how this courageous woman, committed to doing her civic duty, is faring away from the madding crowd; wherever it is that she is now seeking solace and healing.
It is no small feat that she undertook and the roar of the multitudes can hardly be fulfilling, especially at a time like this.
Whether Brett Kavanaugh turns out to be innocent or guilty, in this case, two relatively innocent human beings have faced an inordinate trial in the court of public opinion.
Through the medium of the internet and the almost insatiable quest of the masses for news in modern America , we often neglect the humanity of individuals such as these.
Some try to do otherwise and not infrequently succeed, such as when we are alerted to hurricanes, fires and floods when they occur. But far too often legalese, politics and other ego-driven incentives and a thirst for the excitement our various sources of information provide, override humanity.
One of the causalities in such instances is that legalese usurps love.
I have much on my mind about this state of affairs, presently, as I entered the arena of my Ethics Complaint prompted, partially, by my love for an organization and the ideals and philosophies it has represented that became the foundations of my life in my early thirties.
However, the sexual harassment and power abuse of a mentor separated me from this. Actually, it was me that did the disconnecting. I was carrying a dark secret. I didn’t know who to tell or how tell. So I went away.
For years I have been trying to return.
When I discovered the documents that led to my Ethics Complaint, organized them and appropriately filed them, formally, one of the things I hoped for most, although there were many others of consequence, was to come home, so to speak, to my broken relationships,
So far, however, I have had almost no assistance for any of my needs, as far as my Ethics Complaint goes. Now almost ten months have passed since I took up this task. Part of the problem, as I see it, is that the limited efforts made on my behalf have mostly been addressed on the internet, with a only a few, very brief exchanges otherwise.
And, with this, somehow the legalese buried the love component.
To complicate the matter further, the only people who participated in addressing my Ethics Complaint have been three, very remote, individuals: one in South Africa, one in the Netherlands and one in UK; people who do not know the person against whom the complaint is filed, nor me or the culture in which the invasion of me occurred.
Something has been wrong with this picture from the start.
But, hopefully, with my bringing things closer to home I will be able to find, sooner or later, a balancing of the love and the legalese that will allow me the healing and reconciliation I am seeking.
Recently I have been in contact with three other TA colleagues; two that I have known for more than forty years from the United States and one, a new associate, from Canada. I think this will help. It seems as if it already is beginning to!
My heart is filled with much to say, today, on the subject of legalese and love.
But I must now sign off here and try to get back to keeping up my commitments to the New Horizons Small “Zones of Peace” Project where I will tell you, our loyal readers, how New Horizons is faring, entwining truth telling with love in our Beyond Gender Tyranny project and programs; most recently our signature program, Truth Or Dare, formerly the Discount Derby.
It has been intended, since New Horizons Annual Board Meeting that I would cut back my hours for the non-profit by half in order to deal with the pressures my Ethics Complaint process was putting on me. Unfortunately in August and September I was not able to even do that.
However, in managing what was being thrown at me in my Ethics Complaint ordeal, I think, along with Board Member, Steve, New Horizons now has two poster people to make our message clear, #MeToo is not a faceless movement! Listen to the radio show broadcasts of Steve and myself for more on this.
Be sure to keep up with my posts, from here forth on both sites and on our broadcast/podcasts as Steve and I offer stimulating discussion, tips and tools for moving, healthfully, through the challenges of the #MeToo era.
And, look for more posts on Anastasia The Storyteller on the subject of “From Legalese To Love" another day.
I will try to make it back here soon.
More to come.