Ethics Complaint Update: Yesterday I Had My First Meeting With The Representative Assigned To Directly Address My Complaint

The experience was superb! Even my best imaginings were surpassed.  

I would wish what I experienced for anyone filing an ethics complaint for sexual harassment and/or abuse and power abuse.

Of course, I’m upset about the personal and professional violations I endured, beyond words and measure. And by all that has been unleashed for me since that fateful day on which I discovered the documents that led to my Ethics Complaint filing. 

I have no idea where this all will take me now. 

However, my healing and liberation are primary! 

Ethics Complaint Filing Prompts
(Anastasia)
Partial Leave-Taking

Along with this, I know that my long-term, personal position about my abuser is: 

“I am not o.k. with what you did but…

I am pledged to – 

• Not linger in the darkness you brought into my life; 

• Forgive you, the actor, while I remain certain that your behavior was totally NOT O.K;

• Not forget the damage you did to my life and my career;

• Yet, when I reach my completion place for this sordid situation, I’m going to try to find a way through this that does not entirely trash you and the good you have also done, as I am aware that you did contribute much that was worthy.

I don’t want to be another Rose McGowan. Something wrenches inside of me whenever I hear or read of her. I understand her pain. I understand her need to speak out, as I do that of Aly Raisman and the many other victims of Larry Nassar; almost the worst of the abuse scenarios, for its sheer magnitude and collusions, if nothing else.

I understand victims. I have been one of them. I also understand and have experienced what it is like to be ignored, even victimized, severely, for attempting to stand up for yourself. So things get complicated in situations like this.

But holding on to a victim position mentality is not the pathway to healing and health I seek, even holding on, too long, to justifiable anger.  

This is what I mean when I say "fierceness is not enough!  I do nor yet know where the balance point is but I am certain I will want to find out.

Being in my Dark Side to fight darkness is not sufficient in my value system. 

"Darkness does not drive away darkness; only Light can do that." Martin Luther King, Jr. 

For myself, I am here to find the Light that will come with the healing, reconciliation, health and liberation, I am seeking!

I do not yet see how this destination will be reached. But I do know that darkness on my part, with revenge being one of its vehicles, is not what I seek.

Yet, I do seek justice to be done, on my behalf.

I am strong, I am wise. I know how to make healthy, success-based decisions. 

I am supported and cared for in my endeavors.

I am not alone in resolving this matter and I will come out, somehow, bettered for facing it and finding my path to healing.

Right now, strongly reinforced by my initial exchanges of the ITAA Ethics Committee Representative who is charged with assisting me through my personal issue process, I am putting my trust in the --

ITAA CODE OF ETHICAL CONDUCT that states as follows –

ITAA is dedicated to promoting the highest caliber of conduct among members providing contractual services across the four fields of transactional analysis specialization: counseling, psychotherapy, organizational, and educational training and consulting services.  

As an organization, the ITAA recognizes its social responsibility to set the ethical standards for all members in order to advance the welfare of society through common values and moral principles of mutual respect and ethical actions.  

Accordingly, the overall aim of this Code of Ethical Conductis intended to provide individual members of the ITAA with common moral principles, values, and a decision-making framework for identification and analysis of ethical dilemmas. 

I first invested in these ideals, many decades ago. 

Today, my faith is renewed and I am pledged to follow the dictates of the established procedures to which I have now submitted myself. In doing this I am not able to share any further details, on the matter, other than my personal experience of the process. 

This much I will continue to provide.

However, I now do trust that what I am seeking for myself out of the process, upon which I have now just begun; healing, reconciliation, health and liberation, is what the Ethics Committee will help me realize and my Ethics Committee Representative will help me steward!

What a relief!

I know somewhere and somehow in the future, I want good to come of this ordeal of mine – and others.  In this particular instance, for me, and, hopefully, ITAA.

What a model for other #MeToo survivors, personal relationships, groups and organizational situations, we just might be able to create out of this ordeal of mine!

Wouldn’t that be “loverly”?

Let us hope for the best while still being prepared for the worst, should it arise!