The Fire In My Soul, Revisited

This post was originally published on SATURDAY, JANUARY 29, 2011 -- and updated today. 

Anastasia Update Comment: 

It is so weird – and wonderful that yesterday, on the exact day, eight years later, that I originally published the piece below, I felt such a hunger to articulate, almost verbatim the message of the title of that post  -- 'The Fire In My Soul."

Might it have been the polar vortex that had set my soul on fire, since keeping warm is a bit challenging these days?

Or was it that I can almost see my Jerusalem return up ahead?

"The Fire In My Soul" was hot, in me, when I wrote the article I had just posted to the New Horizons Small “Zones of Peace” Project site several days ago, “Reflections On Truth-Telling.” 

Alongside the passion that fueled that recent piece, I could feel the boiling energy that had generated it.

However, there wasn’t much more for me to say that I hadn’t already stated so, apparently, my mind, in its natural seeking-for-connections way, reflected back on the many other articles on “truth-telling” and its critical importance that I have been writing, over the years, on the three New Horizons sites for which I regularly write.

Maybe, too, I was a bit frustrated yesterday, after having spoken my piece, that, after having written on the subject of "truth-telling," consistently, for so many years, most people seem, to my mind, to be far more invested in complaining about the others, like YOU KNOW WHO I MEAN, who are lying --and -- not, conscientiously, pointing their fingers at their own carelessness with telling the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

Contemplating the various collections on “truth,” in one variation or another that I have previously created, this one that I am reprinting here, in its original form, was the one that most took hold of me, yesterday, in the state of passionate reflection in which I found myself.

So here I am, one day later, bringing my thinking of that earlier day, Saturday, January 29, 2011 into the present moment. 

Because I have a passion for truth, truth-telling and truth hearing, that just won’t quit!

So today, once again, along with sharing the post that follows, I am hoping that if the “truth” bug has not yet bitten you, with enough impact to get on board with making your truth-telling more and more a daily practice, maybe you will be able to connect with what I am sharing here enough to join me in the direction I am, now, heading and guiding New Horizons to take – into a full-scale, out and out, Truth Or Dare Movement, building on our “new” Truth Or Dare GAME.

The following post was originally published on SATURDAY, JANUARY 29, 2011, updated and edited today. 

SATURDAY, JANUARY 29, 2011

The Fire In My Soul

See that all-“bundled up for winter” being, sitting in the snow by a warm outdoor fire? 

That be a cartoon ME. 

And, the little guy? That be a cartoon of one of my three feral cats who will not let me any closer than in that cartoon -- unless I have food in my hands. 

Poor things. Out in the bitter cold!

I know not where they live when they are not in my dog house trying to keep warm. 

Sue and I have placed a pile of blankets out there for them. So far, so good. 

(Animal rights advocates, please know that so far I have not found a safe way to capture these cats and get them spay/neutered. I can’t even get close enough to them in a safe way to know yet whether they be male or female. Capturing feral cats is not a strength of mine. 

Others who come up here that are adept at cat relationships, such as Sue, haven’t risked it either.) 

Anastasia, Updated comment, January 30, 2019

Personally, I would do much better dealing BIG CATS, like a lion tamer or exorcist(ala Nancy Pelosi with Donald J. Trump) than I can with these little cat guys!  One of the rules being mutual agreement and the seeking of win-win in all areas of conflict. 

I have many success stories to recount on the subject of win-win. 

Wouldn’t it be nice if our Congress knew how to play their GAME from that foundation?

So far, today, it isn’t looking to be a likely prospect right now in these United States, as our President just announced to Congress there cannot be any win-win in his GAME; only Trump’s way or the highway. 

Back to the original

I just got back in from a shovel-fest with three of my kindly friends who made their way up here into the mountains to help dig my car out of the foot or so of snow that disabled most of us the past few days. 

(Anastasia Comment, January 30, 2019) 

See how win-win works!! People come together to help one another!)

On the way back to the house I stopped at the sacred fire circle on this retreat center’s land where I also live. Buried in snow though it is, I thought, even a few minutes out there would help me some to find my way -- through meditation and contemplation -- to a new level of sanity that I am presently seeking. 

I’ve been feeling frustrated to the max lately (particularly since the Arizona shooting a few weeks back.) 

The mediocrity of our society – and – worse its potential for, not only subtle violence, but mortal violence is making me a bit crazy. 

I know! I know! You feel it too! 

On a small scale (under 100 or so folks at a time) I know how to do better, much better. And, successfully guide vital community transformation. 

(Like the ”awe” we, collectively, created at Centennial.) 

Right conditions. Right people. 

Totally opposite from our local Jewish/Muslim controversy. Almost everything wrong there for me. Many lessons. Win or learn. Name of the game.) 

Before blindness the word was out around me that if “she (meaning me --- Marcia/Anastasia) can’t cure ‘em, nobody can.”  

I liked that skillfulness in me that came by way of the wonderful mentors I’ve had. 

The old New Horizons Truth Or Dare Game is top of the line -- my best way to help. 

And, it’s as viable now, I am coming to realize, as it was back then. 

Now I know (I didn’t even a few days ago) that I want to go back to that old New Horizons Game (in a new way, of course). I miss that old part of me. 

(Anastasia Comment – January 30, 2019  -- 

Goodness me! I am so intentional I/we have it back – the “old” GAME, now being played in a “new” GAME version!)

And, that old part of my life. Sometimes, we just need to go “home.” But – in a new way for the evolved me – and – the new conditions of our present circumstances (i.e. massive polarization throughout our country while at the same time we try to fight terrorism from outside forces.) 

How dumb can you be? Fighting inside your professed “zones of peace” when externally your very boundaries are threatened. 

(Mental health problems are another issue here. But not unrelated.) 

Yesterday the hunger for a neglected part of me – Game Master of the New Horizons Truth or Dare program) -- burst forth. 

This is the me that knows the gratification -- actually the awe -- of community connectedness and synergy at its most supreme. 

Exceptional people. Creating exceptional communities. 

I am sooooo frustrated! 

I do not know how to get from here to there so I can contribute my small part. 

So, yesterday and today, I started sharing my burning frustrations and yearnings with a few friends. 

You know what it got me? 

Three caring, generous friends to help dig my snow buried car out from under. 

Isn't that the cat's meow! 

Tomorrow, perhaps, we chop wood. Carry water. 

I’ll keep you posted. 

Thanks, Jami, Micki and husband.

Reflections On Truth Telling: Feeling All Gutted Out!

Need skill development in truth telling? 

Anastasia, The Super Sleuth, is available to guide you to reaching your next highest attainment level in this area, on the way to awe, the best possible destination for a human.

In my mind and heart I hear my kitty, Cassandra, making a deep guttural growl. 

This time it is my own guttural growl.

From Cassandra, it was a week ago Monday, then again on Tuesday.

I thought she was angry at me. Now I think I was wrong. I believe she must have been in pain.

She went into hiding.  She was dying. 

In not too many more days she was gone.

I do not think I am dying.

I am definitely not going into hiding -- quite the opposite.

I am coming out, more and more each day, resurrecting myself.

How do I explain it?

Maybe it's more of my “crossing over” that I was trying to explain to Lynn, my board member who was running my studio for my last radio show, Breaking The (#MeToo) Silence And The Price It Exacts.

Lynn could not quite comprehend my experience of "crossing over" as I was articulating it. 

I kept trying to make it understandable to her. She kept trying to get my drift.

It didn't work, quite, on either side.

A few days later I asked the GAME players at our Truth Or Dare GAME to help me clarify my meaning of "crossing over" so I could be better understood.

We did not succeed.  I did learn something, however.

"Crossing over," for me, is one facet of what I began doing when I was blind. 

It is an aspect of the "art of transcendent living."

Art does not always have words. More often it has images. 

Like the image I offered on that radio show of my being carried across the Harpers Ferry water gap on the wings of an eagle, between the two mountain peaks, overlooking the historical town: Maryland Heights and Loudon Heights.

Sue has been explaining to me that because I have become a visionary I see things others do not and that I cannot explain except in images.

I think she is correct.

So here I am this morning, feeling gutted out like a filleted fish from trying to explain my prophecy and other stuff, wanting from the deepest place inside of me to tell whomever will listen that one of the most important things I know/believe, having learned it as one of my many lessons from Watergate, is that now, more than ever -- 

American citizens must turn to their neighbors and co-workers, family and friends with the intention of building bridges to overcome whatever separates.

Nixon did not drive a wedge, between neighbors, friends or family, or at least not a very big one, as Donald Trump has done. 

Of course, as American citizens, having lived through Watergate, we have grown more aware of how lying and corruption can harm our country. Lying and corruption separate us. 

I don't necessarily believe that Donald Trump  is the reason for this alienation from one another. However lies, allowing truth to not be uncovered and reality dealt with, whatever it is, do keep us apart. Trump is adept at that deal. 

So here it is!  

The United States of America is seemingly less united now than at any other time since the Civil War of the 1850s.  This is why, now, it is imperative that we take the initiative to put the lessons we learned from the Watergate era to good use.  

Among these lessons is that while lying and corruption do not work well in relationships, as a rule, they wreak total and complete havoc to the entire country when embedded in the very nature of our president.

Carl Bernstein, the seasoned journalist, who was one of the pair of Woodward and Bernstein, uncovering the sordid details of Watergate, tells us to "follow the money" to get to the core of the crises we are facing, now, under Donald J. Trump’s  administration.

Instinctively, many of today’s journalists,being of their field and having been schooled by Woodward and Bernstein, directly or otherwise, also know to look for the lies and relentlessly keep exposing them. This is what journalists -- and -- investigators such as Robert Mueller can and are doing.

However, you can help this effort by doing everything you can to bring truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth into your daily lives, beginning right now! 

This is something you can do, with no outlay of money that, in the long run, will help us all. All you need to accomplish this is just, simply, yourself -- and -- your own best intentions to be the peace you desire.

This will help you begin to offset the craziness enveloping the American people, the "hysteria" Bob Woodward was speaking of, the hysteria gripping many in this chaotic, frightening era we are now living through. 

(If how great results can come of this simple, direct effort, truth telling, is not yet clear to you and it may not be, I will bring you more and more details to make my point in days to come.)

However, consider, again, the messages of Gandhi and Ben Franklin and Jesus I recently reminded readers about several days ago. And, consider where you think lying and truthfulness fit into their words of wisdom, if they are not yet self-evident.

Gandhi stated -- 

“We do best to begin by carving out territories or zones of peace in our personal relations where violence and deceit won’t be used.”

Benjamin Franklin stressed -- 

"We must all hang together or most assuredly we will all hang separately"?

And in the Bible, in the Gospel of Mark 3:25, Jesus states --

"And if a house be divided against itself, that house cannot stand." 

These are ideals that people everywhere generally strive to uphold.

Why not now?

The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth will set you free.  Does this not make sense to you, even moderately?

Learn to live this TRUTH, with increasing commitment and involvement, every day, in both small and large ways. 

Truth, deepest truths, spoken to others to open up dialogue will help YOU build personal strength in yourself and with others, a crucial element for getting through these tough times. 

Doing this will, also, allow you to open formerly shuttered doors and windows. 

If nothing else, my adventure last year in dealing with my Ethics Complaint process showed me how, unimaginably, stronger a person I could become by clearing away the clutter of buried, hidden and forgotten information and real life stories. And by my telling the truth all of it encompassed.

I believed I was strong before. And I pride myself on my transparency!

Yet, although I believed myself to be resilient before that ordeal, by digging deeper and deeper into knowing who and what I am, up against things I had been unconsciously ignoring and then updating and asserting what I stand for by sharing that information as “truths” with others, I am becoming the beneficiary of unexpected rewards and results.

I am doing more of this truth telling, now, by writing this article and sharing the perspectives I am offering here. I didn’t know until I put pen to paper that all of this was inside of me and so important to me. 

Nonetheless, by revealing what I have here, although it feels challenging to do so, I am taking another one of my HUGE next steps in activating my prophecy.  

In fact, I am actually discovering, as I go, a few steps more of how for me to go about manifesting my prophecy, as conversations arising are already taking me, in just a few days, to unforeseen, unanticipated new places.  

Thus I am coming out of a box of limited thinking and doing that could keep me in the “hysteria” of which Bob Woodward spoke, if I allowed it. Instead I am choosing and risking some kind of resurrection of myself rather than dying!

I need this! 

You need this truth telling too so as not to allow the craziness enveloping us to pull you down into its SWAMP. Truth and clarity ground us in reality, the place from which we are most likely to create and sustain healthy living.

Every day now, as I open up, more and more, others are opening up back to me, with such joy through dialogue that it is as if a whole new world has been found. 

Much like a toddler does when first it discovers language

I am gutted! I am growling!

"I am woman, hear me roar!"

How Do I, Anastasia, Envision My Prophecy Being Manifest?

CLICK HERE FOR DETAILS ON MY PROPHECY.

Over the years, an occasional interested person or so has inquired of me just how I thought my prophecy would be manifest.

This manifesting is no easy task. 

However, one thing seems to be clear. 

The moment appears, now, to have arrived for the predictions of my prophecy to move forward into optimum action! 

Therefore I am beginning to prepare for what lies ahead as I start to present,  increasingly, the wisdom that prompts my intended "return to the D.C. fast track," with messages of guidance and hope for a day to come in which the citizens of the United States of America will, more and more, choose for our nation to be a country wherein Light supersedes Darkness.

I have worked diligently, now, for more than forty-five years to bring my fellow citizens of the U.S.A. the golden nuggets of wisdom I have so carefully seeded, nurtured and grown to harvest, over these many decades past.

How does Anastasia find Light in Darkness?

My story begins with my meeting Martin G. Groder, M.D., a psychiatrist who became my mentor for more than ten years, until his own, personal Dark Side, sabotaged a beautiful teaching relationship that eventually became colleguel. 

Marty believed in evil. 

One of his core principles, passed on to me was that --

“Convicts and high leadership people have the same basic personality structure. The only difference being that convicts play the game of life from an anti-social position and high leadership people play their games in socially acceptable ways.” 

Having substantiated this theory with much research, backed up by my developing  healing strategies Groder imparted to me, I am prompted to throw my hat in the ring, at this time, so to speak, in conjunction with the non-profit organization, New Horizons Support Network, Inc. I founded and currently direct, to do what I/we can to help shift our current national climate.

With darkness corrupting even our highest office in the land, the presidency, the time seems appropriate, now, for me to bring to light what Groder, originally, taught me and which I have, since, expanded upon and refined.

So here goes! This article is my first official move forward!

Groder, having spent a good number of years as the prison psychiatrist at the maximum security facility, the Marion Federal Penitentiary, built to replace Alacatraz, back in the late 1960s, learned how to, not only manage the dark side of some of this country's most deadly criminals, but also to transform evil into its higher good -- almost a miracle and without doubt a mighty task.

Could it be possible that even mainstream America could learn to clean up its act correspondingly?

I'm betting that some of us can. And I am making ready to lead the effort.

Groder taught me how to also do this transformative work, exceedingly well, which is how I have developed into the impactful GAME Conductor of the New Horizons Truth Or Dare GAME that I have now become.

You can read about Marty, some of the history of what went into our work together and the theories that evolved from it, stemming out of my need to understand what I could glean from the Watergate scandal and the dynamics I saw as operative between Richard Nixon and his constituents in the American public; all of which came of Groder's original thinking.

I hope you will use what I offer here and wherever else I make this treasure trove available, with respect. 

I have waited a very long time, until the time would be just right, to present it to you!

Now is my time! Let's make it ours!

Why Do Small “Zones Of Peace” Matter So Much?

Having dealt with the anguish of a dying kitty this past week – and – also having had the uplifting experience of playing another New Horizons Truth Or Dare GAME, my morning reflections leave me with a mixture of feeling bereft, today, and consciously reaching out for the lift and the hope Saturday’s GAME provided, as I awaken to a dull, cloudy cold day.

Is the dying of my Beloved kitty, Cassandra, at the heart of my malaise? 

Or is there more to it, I ask myself, not wanting to linger unduly in misery? 

Where is the sunshine for me this day? 

Cassandra: In loving memory

Hiding behind those grey clouds I see in the sky?

Certainly Cassandra’s passing lies at the deepest place. 

But I am wise enough to know that light is, also, somewhere nearby.

The grief over her loss feels insurmountable. But there is much else that is also disheartening.

Briefly checking the day’s news headlines on my Smartphone offers no relief. 

The world beyond my bedroom window is as cold and bitter as Accuweather reports the day’s forecast to be.

The government shutdown continues. And children remain separated from parents at the border. 

Racial tensions intensify and murders are committed near and far. No one seems willing or able to take action.

In the midst of this, each day brings more and more tales of human turmoil and devastation at the hands of a tyrannical president who seeks only to exert his Will and a Congressional body that won't assert its own in the service of citizens.

No one is winning! How long can this last?

Is this America, the land of the free and the brave?

The land my Eastern European grandparents sought out for the safe, secure, beautiful futures  they would find to replace Russian oppression of their families and themselves?  

It worked for them. Why not for others, now?

I am scared, frustrated and angry – and – of course deeply sorrowful, wondering how I can help what is in motion around me. Not even certain I can keep myself above the enveloping darkness.

My mind wanders back to the GAME, just passed, where cooperation, honesty and fairness were the order of the day. 

Recalling that safe, secure space, I am remembering that I had spent much of the week prior to it holding my dying kitty close to me, tending to her every need, searching for the slightest sign I might draw from her as to how I could help pull her through whatever affliction was pulling her under.

In the end, there was nothing I could do. Cassandra ceased to breathe and to live.

So I am left, once again, trying to find solace in loss and make sense of that which eludes. 

This is a condition of being human. But why must there be so much of it, especially on American soil?

One main thought, above all, comes to mind. 

Above all, that one idea answers the question “Why Do Small “Zones Of Peace” Matter So Much?”

In the midst of the upheaval and chaos, the words of Gandhi, below, upon which New Horizons rests its foundations keep running through my mind, with their urging of humanity how best to not only endure, but also to thrive. Gandhi states -- 

“We do best to begin by carving out territories or zones of peace in our personal relations where violence and deceit won’t be used.”

Then there are the words of Benjamin Franklin, with meaning not unlike those of Gandi. 

"We must all hang together or most assuredly we will all hang separately"?

And in the Bible, in the Gospel of Mark 3:25, Jesus states --

"And if a house be divided against itself, that house cannot stand." 

These are ideals that people everywhere often strive to uphold.

Why not now?

At New Horizons’ we draw from philosophies such as these for footing on the solid ground, underlying our collective commitments to building and sustaining small "zones of peace,"  everywhere we go, beginning with how each and every one of us, behind this beautiful initiative, handles ourselves personally and with others.

It is our pledge and our commitment.

We are committed to doing our best to be winners in carrying it into lives. 

Winning for us always comes back to win-win.

Why is our Congress so far from this objective, I ask myself, as I start off another day praying for the abating of the surrounding insanity of our national society and politics?

Nothing comes to mind as an answer from myself. No one else seems to know either.

After worrying my head and my heart for too long this day, I vow to let it all go, for a bit, deciding to tackle the cold outdoors with another mountain road trek. 

That I can manage.

At least the sun has come out there, again, 

King Kong Meets Goddess-Zilla

Nancy Pelosi, of course, is our "Goddess-zilla, demonstrating adeptness in confronting the Dark Side in her steadfast dealings with Donald Trump, King Kong.

The key, as I see it, is in her knowing how to be clear, firm, systematic and diplomatic in her dealings with Trump, without being either overly aggressive or, conversely, too passive.

In other words, she not only is skillful at covering her ass, but also at guiding things just enough with Trump, that they will, almost organically, flow into channels that will produce movement without her needing to do much else.

Trump will do the BIG MOVES and is more than likely to end up with egg on his face, eventually, at his own hand.

AWESOME: The Goddess is alive. And magic is afoot!!

From my perspective this comes of Pelosi knowing how the Dark Side operates in self and others. You, too, can learn to be effective in this way, if it appeals to you. If it does, I, Anastasia, am here to teach, guide and support your endeavors.)

See Anastasia's updated commentary for today that is relevant here, regarding an earlier noteworthy item by Bob Woodward. 

And look for more to come on what it means for King Kong to meet Goddess-Zilla on Exploring Your Dark Side: The Adventure Of A Lifetime.

Coming soon!

e.

Breaking The Silence And The Price It Exacts

Hear New Horizon's Board Member, Lynn Cullather-Popkin and Anastasia broadcast, now on podcast, an uplifting discussion on Anastasia's "crossing over," from deep distress to exhilaration, as she managed the pressures and negativity of her Ethics Complaint ordeal.

After going "Fully #MeToo Public" on her last Anastasia The Storyteller Radio Show, Anastasia returns this week to begin exploring the ordeal she experienced throughout most of 2018, with a focus on the price exacted of her in breaking her silence, as a result of her filing a formal Ethics Complaint for sexual harassment and abuse of power of her, by her long-term psychiatrist mentor, Martin G. Groder, M.D.. 

Having reached out to the accrediting association, the International Transactional Analysis Association, whose training practices, standards and credentials were involved, Anastasia found herself up against an Ethics Committee that caused her almost as much harm as did her abuser, in her reaching out to them for guidance, support and reconciliation.

Through her storytelling of what turned out to be a horrendous experience where conflict resolution and healing had been expected, Anastasia wishes to invite discussion from others, having similar encounters.  So, listeners, please do call in at: 646.564.9608 to talk with Anastasia for this important program and related ones to follow.

More than anything else, Anastasia wishes, now, to be able to pass on guidance and support, along with the wisdom she gained through pain, plus her professional expertise in handling situations of this nature, to others who are, now, finding themselves up against similar circumstances.

Anastasia welcomes this opportunity for service, afforded her via the platform of her Anastasia The Storyteller Radio Show, especially as, no matter how difficult was her circumstance –

ANASTASIA CAME OUT A WINNER WHICH IS WHAT SHE WAS ALWAYS AFTER MOST!!

Join Anastasia as she broadcasts –

Breaking The Silence And The Price It Exacts

Monday, January 14 11:30 a.m.

For personal consultations with Anastasia, contact her at Super Sleuth'd Coaching And Consulting.