The “Lean In” Legacy Principle In Action: Antidote to the Poison of Polarizing, Arguing or Contentious Debate.
For Elisa and Eric
Anastasia’s recipe/formula, when applied with consistent repetitions, especially with the same people, paves the path to “awe.” Try it! You will learn to love it!
The recipe/formula represents an analysis and a synthesis of Anastasia’s training and experience with three mentors; numbers two and three, respectively, were Martin G. Groder, M.D. and Murat Yagan.
(The first mentor, my father, was, of course, the super best! My father laid the groundwork for me to appreciate and learn from the others. He taught me to think outside the box and to know the sky is the limit! We spent a lot of time at Disneyland while I was growing up in Southern California.
That, too, must helped me see outside the box. Here is a beautiful story on podcast about my father and how he modeled the qualities of exceptional leadership for me.)
|Lead into gold?|
The template below is offered as a skeletal framework, as well as a map, for both the challenges and the opportunities that can aid anyone in developing craft in the art of “leaning in.” Leaning in was my Dad's way. I wish I would have learned much earlier than I have to lean back!
Apply these steps when you hit a relationship snag with someone new or familiar. You will find that they are an antidote to the ways of the alienation and polarization (you are nothing to me, you are the “other,” my enemy) that are infecting our society and politics.
- A situation arises, seemingly totally neutral, no particular human challenge, apparent;
- Actors, players become involved with one another (vs. I/we do not engage or get involved with one another, directly or indirectly.);
- A happening occurs - each one present has the opportunity to take initiative.
- You choose to respond to this opportunity with an attitude and corresponding actions that reflect the following.
- I see you (vs. I do not see you);
- I care about you (vs. you are a disposable object);
- I care about your concerns;
- I care about this “thing” we have in common;
- The happening unfolds -- the other individual or individuals' initiatives or responses make room to allow a moment within which to --
- Pause, connect, converse;
- A shared moment of connection occurs (a bit of traveling together);
- A snag might also occur at the moment or soon after – an “ostensibly” insurmountable obstacle seems to present itself;
- Pause, reflect, shift (an opportunity is present to move from a snag or a potentially charged situation to what might even become magic (often discovered to be an experience of serendipity). Hear this podcast, "When Worlds Collide," for an inspiring story of snags moving to synergy;
- An Intuitive/intellectual approach is called into play (A good first step but over the long haul, even Einstein tried it and it didn't, fully, work for him either);
- Risk, uncertainty (Allow self and other to discover new ways of being with one another, "outside the box");
- Present a “non-reactive presence”; without judgments, withdrawal, withholding, anger. Allow self and others to move beyond comfort zones;
- Add heart (and a bit of practicality);
- “Lean in,” lean in, lean in;
- Take the route of I "see you" and choose this way: you and I are not enemies or merely the "other". We are a part of the one-ness of life and humanity. I honor this in you.);
- Allow Elegant/creative solutions to arise that encourage movement from "snags to synergy";
- Expect and experience a surprise outcome;
- Allow and experience magic, mystery, "awe" -- a unique moment in time;
- Receive treasures/rewards gained (transform lead into gold);
- Allow valuable lessons to be learned.
Above all, give "them" their flowers now.
Closed eyes cannot see nor closed ears hear.