Thursday, October 30, 2014

At Ben Bradlee’s Funeral

My dream time had me at Ben Bradlee’s funeral this morning. With numerous others I was helping to set up for the reception that would follow the memorial service.

How odd, caterers and waiters would have been tending to this task. But somehow in my dream it looked more like a Shabbat service with an Oneg Shabbat at our local synagogue. (Oneg Shabbat is the gathering after Jewish Sabbath services, often with food and socializing.)

Most interestingly was that there was a table for beverages, alcoholic and otherwise, at which I was placing a Jewish brand of whisky with English lettering of a Jewish man’s name. Even more intriguing is that the name had the initials of my father!

No Hebrew writing, as I recall, but then there might have been in smaller letters that I just didn’t happen to notice. Nonetheless it was a distinctly Jewish brand. And that fact alone held importance for me.

The feeling accompanying the dream was one of warmth, richness, community conviviality.  Absent qualities at gatherings I attended in Washington with much too much on the superficial power game playing level.

However, in this scene the theme seemed to be one of interweaving parts of myself into wholeness and well being. Also there was a sense of something having to do with the inheritance of my two children, now grown, Elisa and Eric.

How very interesting it all was and somewhat unusual as I had only met Ben Bradlee one time, along with his wife Sally Quinn.

The occasion had been a rather intimate brunch, as I recall, at the home of my former sister-in-law when she was writing for the Washington Post. The Omelet Man, entertainer and cook extraordinaire combined, had been our chef, if I remember correctly.

Dreams are so revealing, if one can make use of them as messages from the unconscious to guide one’s personal emerging of clarity.

Being so inclined I have been taking time to do just that since.

Strange the fragments of me, yearning for unity, now coming into my conscious mind from this dream time adventure at this still early time of the day. By interpretation I have, thus far, included these clues from my unconscious was signaling --
  • My prophecy-predicted return to Washington;
  • The anti-Semitism in myself, finally reversed after decades, that was, no doubt, heightened by my fast track years in D.C.;
  • Unfinished business with my former sister-in-law;
  • Concern for the legacy I will leave my children.
As the day is still early now. What will this dream herald for me as my day goes on?

What guideposts will I recognize as this dream continues to work its way through my psyche, like the gift of wisdom from a place somewhere beyond that dreams always bring, if one allows?

On the level of earthly reality, a man of great stature and contribution to the betterment of our society (and politics, one would hope) has now passed beyond our mundane world. And, I am grateful to have shared a brief moment of time with this man who made a legend of the Washington Post in exposing the Watergate break-in.

This was an enormous gift for me, personally. I will never forget the model he represented for me of someone who relentlessly searched for truth and had no fear of revealing it, as big and bold as anyone could.

For this I am, apparently, so grateful that I even brought myself to attend his funeral in absentia on a day that I, in actuality, was traveling to Johns Hopkins battling, once again, to save my very precarious eyesight.

On that score, my eye infection crisis, “we are heading in the right direction,” my doctor says while I, concurrently, continue to navigate my return to Washington, as my prophecy predicts, at least in my dreams.

So I take from my having attended Ben Bradlee’s funeral that celebration is unfolding, even in times of loss, especially if a Jewish brand of whiskey, honoring my tribal heritage can show up for the event.

Monday, October 27, 2014

Searching For Goddess-zilla, My Inner Warrior Hero


I woke up this morning; much earlier than intended, feeling crushed, decimated. So I buried my head into my pillow, turning myself over in search of the replenishing power of more sleep.

For the next three hours, in and out of unsettled slumber, I battled my way to regaining my inner strength; the creative power I rely upon to craft the beauty that fills most of my days.

It had been a challenging week, this one just passed. A blindness-threatening eye infection had sent me to Johns Hopkins Wilmer Eye Institute five days out of seven for emergency care.

Thank goodness I have one of the world’s top ophthalmologists, Dr. John Gottsch, as my doctor and am, thus, SEEING improvement today.

But it’s been rough, let me tell you!

There is no way I ever want to be blind again. But there that menace to my well-being was, looming over me again this past week. And, the ordeal, had emotionally caught up with me this morning as progress on the purely physical level allowed me a respite.

My eye disease, keratoconus, diagnosed when I was a junior in college, has been and will continue to be a fast moving roller coaster ride when symptoms of its perpetual presence resurface.

One learns to live with it, have enormous gratitude for the smooth times and lean into  the turbulent ones with the medical attentiveness required.

Fortunately, my life has been dominated by days of fun, adventure and celebration. And, I am not much moved for new tests to my endurance. I like the good times better. Of course, I did rise to the test and, no doubt, am, again, a better person for facing the challenge.

Murat Yagan, our Beloved community development mentor, recently deceased, guided us, his devoted students, to always be intent on refining our skills as alchemists; turning the lead of ourselves into gold. By now the discipline of the practice has become an art form in many of us.

However, today, I was weary from the near ceaseless practice of this art this past week.

Yet evidenced by the way I feel now, uplifted as I look outside my office window at the golden hues of sunlight shining on autumn leaves, I feel my Inner Warrior Hero strength that fuels my life surging through me again. I am an Amazon-bred woman in the spirit of the Caucasus Mountains from which Murat originated, horseless though I be.

My Amazon-self, the part of me that I call Goddess-zilla, feels ready to take on this new day now.  A few hours of added sleep, a bit of telephone hanging out with my Spirit Sister Sue and an innate, highly disciplined Inner Warrior Hero, the alchemist within me have got me going again.

P.S. The Inner Warrior Hero as societal and political transformer is to be the next coming attraction from New Horizons and myself so keep your EYES OPEN FOR DEVELOPMENTS HERE, featuring our new --

with interactive applications to help you transform the lead of your life into the gold.

Coming in November!

Friday, October 17, 2014

Scenes of the Crime


Hot Pants, Motorcycles And K Street, in progress, commentary

Anastasia The Super Sleuth says –
Sometimes there is only so much analyzing and theorizing about what’s going on “out there”  if you want to make progress in life.
Actually, Anastasia The Super Sleuth emphatically says –
Truth be told sometimes it’s essential to just simply immerse oneself in living and let nature take its natural course as it will. In other words give up the intellectual gymnastics and embrace an experience.” 
Enough, already, with the internet and other sources of mental gyrations.
No celebs to get you high on their self-generated excitement. No mind- altering chemicals needed -- and – guess what you’ve got?

An adventure into full-blown reality! (Hopefully a safe one.)

So it was with this principle as my guiding belief; be an adventurer and go off on a real live adventure into life, that I made my way into the belly of the beast, yesterday, for a day trip to Washington.  

Call it book research or whatever, I took myself, along with a friend, back to the scene of a whole slew of crimes I committed or participated in, living life on the edge on the D.C. fast track.

OMG! There they were; the memories and associated emotions, each and every mile of the way.

So much to digest from just this one, day-long sojourn to enhance my connecting with me!

I did not, this time, hit the ground running as I did on my pilgrimage to Ohio back in August. 

But then Washington is not and has never been associated with the purity of my young innocence as is my small Ohio hometown. 

No siree, Bob! Washington was the centerfold of my dark side which I will reveal more and more about as we move closer and closer into my full return.

The only purity I ever knew in D.C. was born of the idealism of my young adulthood and the illusions of our “unadulterated” founding fathers. After all, Lincoln’s birthday is associated in my mind with a certain delicious school room sugar cookie and George Washington, of course, with cherry pie.

How sweet it was.

Oh well! Maturity typically comes along with some hard earned wisdom.

Nonetheless, I did make a pilgrimage of sorts back to my young adult roots in Washington,  yesterday, with an adventuresome country friend. Given the inestimable one-way streets and interminable traffic tie ups, round and round we went with me remembering and remembering and remembering.

OMG!

I am truly on my way now to living out the manifestation of my prophecy; the return of the goddess of hot pants and motorcycles to K Street.

Will we have a parade when it’s time to celebrate my return?

So important was the experience that I am going off again, tomorrow, for a bit. This time for a little vacation to have an ample respite to just let these happenings soak into my soul as I allow myself time to investigate the meeting of the inner me and the outer as I prepare myself for goodness knows what next.

Remember while I’m gone that Anastasia The Super Sleuth says – 
Truth be told sometimes it’s necessary to just simply immerse oneself in living and let nature take its natural course as it will. In other words give up the intellectual gymnastics and embrace an experience.
Enough, already, with the day to day details – and  -- internet mental gyrations.
 
I’m not particularly hooked on this internet game but a bit of a respite will me good anyway.

I thought I’d just let you know what’s happening here.

Have yourself a nice weekend!

Saturday, October 4, 2014

To Redeem One Person Is To Redeem The World


I received a rather unsettling call last week from the county jail. . The call came from one of my “honorary daughters;” young women I had counseled over the close to twenty-five year span I spent as a psychotherapist (1974 – 1997). She was one of a handful who kept tracking me down, begging for more of what she had once had from me in those years.

Each one of them had, indeed, been a hand full! I had not wanted to give them more.

Several days later I received a follow-up letter. The letter looked dark and ugly and crazy and felt correspondingly so. I didn’t welcome it at all. I literally screeched inside my mind when I saw it.

Thank goodness there have been only a handful who have challenged me thus!

I was taken aback by the insanity of that letter. It had the appearance of graffiti; words written all over the envelope, so dense I wondered the postwoman could read my address, with messages represented as ordained by Jesus himself. Inside, along with gibberish I could not fathom, were several cartoons, clipped from who knew where, matching the envelope in offensiveness,.

I do appreciate the love, respect and devotion with which these women have honored me. 
Yet the boundaries of professionalism have decreed, along with common sense, that enough is supposed to be enough!

Clients are not privileged to simply adopt therapists as if a therapist could be assumed to be an adoptive parent, pledged to orphan children.

I can appreciate the yearning of these “honorary, self-appointed daughters” of mine. With both my parents long gone, on occasion I have wanted a stand-in parent or two. But certainly I have not been in need of more children.

I already have two, a girl and a boy, a sufficient nuclear family and an enormous dysfunctional, extended family system which for all its complexities still holds the central importance of my life. 

But try as I might, I have not been able to permanently fend off this small band of groupies.

Cyclically they lose their periodic swarming on me like a plague of locusts, returning again and again.

Short of filing a protective order to keep them away, I believe I have tried every humane, possible option to dissuade their proclaimed affectionate attachments to me. Nonetheless, each of them is about as welcome in my life as the stink bugs that are, again, invading our local territory.

It is with this challenge imposing itself upon me that I embarked upon the final stages of Yom Kippur, the most sacred of Jewish holidays.

Sin upon sin, consciously known or unknown, I am called, in keeping with the holiday, to examine the limitations of my personhood on this last day of the Jewish Ten Days of Awe; awe being the promised outcome of a character and soul sufficiently white-washed to officially begin another good year.

So what am I supposed to do with this visitation from an unsolicited fan of mine?  

The quandary challenged me as I began the final assessment day of atonement.

Should I turn my back on her when she is in dire need, again, having relapsed into her drug addiction and prostitution?

Even if it is for the umpteenth time over the past twenty years I have known her?

Should I ignore her pleadings when she has somehow gotten me, again, confused with her salvation? 

Although I am quite certain I am not the Messiah!

Answers for our salvation do not come easy, I reflect.

Then prayerfully I beseech that Power Greater Than Me, speaking the words of my heart, I plead --

“Please G-d, redeem me from “women who love too much.”

Then, behold, a light illumines me, as if from on high, beaming forth to liberate my consciousness.

Maybe the one person I am most responsible for redeeming is -- ME, first!

Jewish New Year of not – there comes a time when enough is simply enough, even when being charitable!

May all good people be inscribed in whatever good book they love for a good year ahead.

Jewish New Year, 5774.

L’ Shanah Tova.

 




Saturday, September 27, 2014

Written In The Stars And The Planets


It makes sense to me in this day and age of Google and resources such as Wikipedia that the finding of answers to endless questions is simply a mouse click away.

But having friends who are willing to share the knowledge they, personally, have accumulated through their own years of  seeking is not quite so easily accessible.

The wisdom of others, first hand and expressly for one’s own self, is a commodity most likely to be accrued only if: a) you have the benefit of unique friends beyond Facebook; b) these particular friends will take the time to talk directly to you; and c) these particular friends have any wisdom at all that might be tendered you, in any fashion involving anything other than a generic link shared via email, tweet or a text.

Well, so much for the rest of you that simply love this high tech, high speed twenty-first century living which I do not!

Beyond the simple benefits of a fairly minimal amount of time spent online, I am still a small town being who will, no doubt, remain a bit like a farmer, even into my dotage; “farmer” to me meaning something akin to a Medicine Man.

I still have an affinity for real people interacting with real people, silly me.

Yahoo for my simple but not so simple ways!

My Possible Society In Motion Radio Show co-host, Jack Slattery, joined me today on my Anastasia The Storyteller Radio, bringing with him a storehouse of personal understanding of astrology and applied it to ME, directly, in our live broadcast.

Jack had, believe it or not, in this day and age, taken the time; his own very time, to investigate my “personal” astrology birth chart, called a “natal chart,” in the language of those who know something of the subject.

Thus, lo and behold, in Jack’s assisting me to introduce my “Anastasia The Super Sleuth” alter ego, public persona caricature who is also the official voice of New Horizons’ Possible Human, Possible Society Study, he brought some of his own accrued knowledge of astrology to help explain to the show’s listeners – and me -- how I got from “there”to here.

Darn if I can get a grip on it my own self!

Now I’m thinking that perhaps I just might be able to better figure out the journey I’ve been on since my days of Hot Pants, Motorcycle and K Street with a little help from my friends.

That is, of course, including someone, Jack in this case, helping me look to the stars and the planets to expand my understanding.

If you “believe in astrology” or not, I thought Jack and I did a very fun and lively Anastasia The Storyteller Radio Show, today, introducing “Anastasia The Super Sleuth.”


Maybe your inquiring mind, too, might be inspired to look to the stars and the planets for some self-analysis.
Read "Anastasia The Super
Sleuth"
Says" Stories

If so, most likely you’ll have to do it online, ha ha!

Few people, these days, have someone like Jack to help who will actually take the time to assist you in making a bit more sense of the online data than you can make from a web site.

Ha ha, again!

Of course, to each his own.

P.S.

“Anastasia The Super Sleuth” is not only very smart but devoted to devilment when it comes to making her points!

You are probably beginning to notice this, aren’t you?

Note: Jack also helped bring us another lively show discussion with a bit of a basis in astrology on our last Possible Society In Motion Radio Show titled, "The Way It Is: Accepting the Light and Dark."

Check that one out too!

Sunday, September 21, 2014

Getting From There To Here


“The journey of a thousand miles begins with just one step.”
Lao Tzu,  Chinese philosopher
These are famous words. We’ve heard them countless times. So when I opened up a fortune cookie one day last week, following a Chinese take-out meal, it was almost too easy to dismiss the words.

Then on second thought I decided to more reflectively consider them.

“After all, I told myself, if you (meaning me) have been guided by a prophecy for over forty years, isn’t it time, now, to pay a bit more attention to the little markers you’ve been heeding along the way.

Opportunity or insight knocks, open the door!

If you want to make genuine sense of it all, at least as best as is possible, take your own advice and lean in to whatever cues and clues present themselves. The lean in practice can be applied as much to yourself as to others."

So I said to myself, "Admit it, Anastasia, you have, on occasion, allowed even a fortune cookie to mean a thing or two!

Again -- after all -- the more than 15,000 days you’ve lived since that prophecy came to you, you've had to cover your ground step-by-step, moment by moment, hour by hour and so forth. There are footprints you left behind. Seek and find them where you can. And heed the guideposts you find along the way as you continue on, even from a fortune cookie.

This wasn’t simply an Uncle Remus, Disneyland Magic Kingdom Matterhorn ride from there to here.

“Zip-a-dee-doo-dah, zip- a-dee-ay. My oh my what a wonderful day” hasn’t exactly been altogether the tune of these days past.

No siree!"

Then I implored the "I" inside of me, "Where is the meat and bones of the journey, Anastasia?

Blood, sweat and tears has been more like it than Uncle Remus! Now SEE it, know it and spill it, Anastasia!"

Ok, I told myself, I will do like Dore in “Finding Nemo”, “Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming” until my mission is complete.

So I will, I assert. It has, after all, been a wonderful adventure in spite of the troubles. 

Why not dig deep and get to the heart of all that has been so I can know more about it, even for myself than I do right now?

But it is a challenge, ladies and gents. I'll tell you that!

In trying to tell the many tales of the journey, totally a hero’s journey if there ever was one, I find myself, these days, seeking further expansions of formerly held perspectives; discoveries of how I got from “there” to “here.”  I want to explain it better to myself as well.

And, I will succeed on this mission! It is, after all, my nature to dig deep and find whatever is there to be found. I am determined!

That’s what makes me, not only Anastasia The Storyteller but, also, Anastasia The Super Sleuth! 

(Which, by the way, I like a whole lot better as a persona than that old Marcia E. Rosen, hot pants, motorcycles and K Street sex pot, sometimes look alike for Nancy Sinatra in her "These Boots Are Made For Walking" bygone days. 

Oih veh!

You will hear more about this tidbit as our shared travels reveal it here. 

Oih veh, again!! OMG!!)

So I admit to myself, Hot Pants, Motorcycles And K Street: In The Era Before Watergate does not seek to tell only a bland tale when actually I have lived a rather invigorating life.

And, the adventure of writing this memoir is not only for the reader’s illumination and/or a gift for my daughter to help her better know who she is -- and - ME.  It is also the progression of another chapter in my life’s adventure as I endeavor to make sense of it and integrate it into my, mainly, but not perfectly well-lived life.

Though I am definitely still short on answers for my many musings in this regard, my most conscientious investigations do draw me down deep, up high and all around.  

In particular, presently I am searching for the beginnings.

Where are they, I wonder?

This life at the very moment of conception, my nine months in utero or the day my mother was delivered of me?

Or do I begin lifetimes ago?

Do the sun and the moon, the planets and stars have answers for me? I’ve lately renewed my investigations in this direction too.

Again and again I ponder age-old questions, the self-centered ones, “where did I begin? And the corollary where do I end or do I?

Mystery!! I must be willing to accept that which seems to remain beyond my frail, human mind.

So I wonder and wonder, seeking contentment when all else fails.

How did I get from “there” to here?

Stay tuned in to what I discover, at least the parts I am willing to tell.

Still, my journey, truth be told, is actually a shared one. Come along and tell your side of it too! 

Jack Slattery and I will be storytelling on my next Anastasia The Storyteller Radio Show.


“Anastasia,The Super Sleuth Says –“

Saturday, September 27, 2014
11:30 a.m.

Think about joining us! 

Friday, September 12, 2014

Step Right Up, Ladies and Gents!


“I’ll tell you what I’m gonna do!”

I’m not going to go all out to be mysterious. I am gonna do my best to tell you like it is (and has been).

But darn this “Prophecy” thing of mine -- and the adventure it presaged -- is not an easy thing to tell, much less write about in 5oo words or so.

So, I have asked Jack Slattery, my Possible Society In Motion Radio Show co-host, to help me tell my tale to you , as best as I can, on my Anastasia The Storyteller Radio Show.

The BIG DAY for the beginning of my disclosures about “My Prophecy,” richly expanded by live broadcast and discussion, is tentatively set to be Saturday, October 25 on Anastasia The Storyteller -- if a) Jack can make it; and b) “G-d willing and the creek don’t rise,”

(In the meantime you can read a "draft" text outline about My Prophecy here.)

This tantalizing program, “Anastasia’s Prophecy Comes Alive,” will be preceded by a prelude kind of show titled,

“Anastasia,The Super Sleuth Says –“

Saturday, September 27, 2014

desribed as follows –

"Anastasia The Storyteller" is also Anastasia The Super Sleuth, who is also the Executive Director of the New Horizons’ Support Network, Inc., a community development and violence prevention non-profit organization. 
As the lead researcher of New Horizons' Possible Human, Possible Society Study, I (Anastasia) have/has been re-discovering an innate capacity to move beyond the "Cost of The Quiet" in order to make explicit the dire societal and political problems that each and every one of us could help reverse, if only we would.
Who could have known what this study could bring?

"Anastasia, The Super Sleuth" among other things.!
On this program, "Anastasia, the Super Sleuth" begins opening the doors to the adventure she has been on that has now become the Possible Society In Motion Project and its associated study, as well as  the various other programs and projects of the New Horizons Support Network, Inc.
Read Anastasia’s/my behind-the-scenes anecdotes on the "Anastasia The Storyteller" blog site for personal stories that brought NewHorizons into being and has sustained it through some very dark times to findthe Light it is now seeing.
Also visit the New Horizons' Small "Zones of Peace" Project blog site for how viewpoints, personal and professional, are presently being put into play at New Horizons. 

The best is yet to come!
Anastasia The Super Sleuth says, "It Doesn't Have To Be This Way."
Details on these shows, broadcast or podcast are at: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/anastasiastoryteller
P.S. If this all is not enough to satisfy your curiosity, please write me at: zonesofpeacenh@aol.com, for a summary description text about "My Prophecy", now in progress, along with the rest of my life. 

I will send you a personal copy via email.