Lead Into Gold In The Face Of Injustice

Links to be added tomorrow.

When I awoke this morning, without my usual dread, yet still coming out of a moderately sleepless night, I realized how firmly I had decided that I was no longer willing to allow the Ethics Committee (EC) of the International Transactional Analysis Association (ITAA) to pull me down into the chaos of their machinations.

Before now, it had been beyond my wildest imaginings that this organization of elite mental health professionals, educators and organizational consultants could go so far off the mark, so wrong, in their handling of a professional practices complaint!

Especially a well documented complaint of a #MeToo-type, in this era.

All along, up until the end, I had high hopes that the ITAA organization, representing the Transactional Analysis (TA) philosophy of I’m O.K, You’re O.K. and game-free relationship interacting, would provide an exemplary management of this kind of  problem, unlike Harvey Weinstein and Company and other businesses and organizations, where gender corruption had not yet seen the light of a better day.

Not so, here! The games people play were at their peak in this process, involving me, even in this organization.

OMG!!! But that’s how it’s been!

And, that’s how it came to be that I quit and they fired me!

It was a dark situation from the onset; not at all where I belong.  Yet I couldn’t quite decide to leave it alone for a good while, having needs of a most serious nature to be derived from what I had formally put in for.

Still being the Super Sleuth that I am, I carefully watched what I could see, almost not able to believe what was happening before my eyes, registering full well what was occurring while, simultaneously, doing my utmost to reverse the darkness I was witnessing. 

Quite a feat, I might add, being called upon, not only to manage all my formal Ethics Complaint entailed, personally, as a victim in the situation, but also a fixer of the dysfunction I saw and tried, gracefully, to report.

But, of course, I am only one person. And I was up against a powerful, international organization that cared for me, as an individual, less than for a hill of ants. Thus to date, I’ve been, but am no longer, enduring ten months of committee dysfunction and serious discounting of my essential person hood.

It was awful!

This added to the shock, occasional confusion, pain and various other forms of distress, I was undergoing, attempting to find healing and reconciliation for a legitimate, well-documented Ethics Complaint against a former clinical trainer of mine for sexual harassment and power abuse.

It was quite more than enough for me!

To get myself out of this Ethics Complaint mindset of oppression I’ve been living under -- and -- into sustaining the sense of liberation and transformation I shared the other day in “Ethics Complaint Update: Anastasia Was Not O.K.! And, Then She Was Awesome!” , a new series of stories will officially be presented on this site, beginning Wednesday, October 24.

With this intent, I will take up the effort of representing some of what I stand for most, the rewards that can potentially be derived out of the personal and communal alchemical discipline of purposefully turning human lead into gold, darkness into light.

“Lead Into Gold” will, therefore, take precedence from here forth, beginning Wednesday, over my “Ethics Complaint Update” series of articles.

I will have more Ethics Complaint Update articles, I believe, but they will no longer weigh down my days, writing them, nor censor what I dare say in sharing my stories, as has been the case now for months!

Look for this coming series that promises to be filled with inspiration and lessons for living a #MeToo transforming life. Signifying, without doubt, that for me enough got to be quite enough!

Here is how I came to this new plan, shifting my main headline for the past months, “Ethic Complaint Update” to “Lead Into Gold.”

I woke up this morning feeling the surge in my body that has helped me trek up the steep mountain road that is my baseline, favorite daily exercise. I had been tackling this challenging ground numerous times over the past week, determined to get myself, with a focus on my body, out of the rut the ordeal of my Ethics Complaint experience had imposed on me.

OMG!! The banging on my head had been interminable! Now, at last, I was free!

Whistle blower, me, bailed out of the craziness, of a mental health-oriented organization that followed up by firing me, revenge for my whistle blowing!  

But not before I called out the game!

For ten months I have been held hostage to procedures of the ITAA EC that made only minimal sense to my mind -- and -- its decades of experience, so successfully managing the various kinds of conflicts human affairs can engender as to have garnered acclaim for this very thing.

But in this instance, with the ITAA EC, I was relying on others I assumed to be skillful in ways similar to my own, and, perhaps, in some, possibly more advanced.

Needless to say they failed me miserably!

If being blind made a Shaman of me – and – indeed it has, dealing with the ITAA EC refined my abilities in this sphere of spiritually processing earthly challenges, beyond measure.  I cannot yet attest to being able to walk on water that those of a much more advanced class than myself can do. But I sure do know how to die a thousand ego deaths and turn the lead of my personhood into gold! 

Of this I am quite certain!

Thank the Goddess that is alive in every woman, as well as some men, for the wisdom and courage for this god-given capacity of mine to have seen me through the ordeal I’ve been experiencing, on the way to what I formerly believed was the best of my life and myself.

Obviously I was in error in thinking that a healing return on my part to the ITAA would bring me this, a viewpoint I am presently in the process of altering.

I am not only emotionally drained, but angry and resentful for what has occurred. 

I also have great sorrow and grieve for hopes and dreams now put aside. 

But this is what strength and love of self, others and ideals can bring about, reaching for the sky, one can bump one’s head!

More on this and many other Anastasia The Storyteller tales of coming out of the Darkness imposed on me into the Light of me that has been fighting so hard these past many months, always affirming to myself that...

“Darkness does not drive away darkness. Only love can do that.”

This is how lead transforms into gold, person by person, in spite of darkness, in this case, where organizational priorities and politics overshadowed good common sense and the innate human capacity that lies within each and every one of us for civility, compassion, integrity and respect. 

Unfortunately, in this instance legalese and organizational gyrations had taken a wrong turn away from human decency.