Monday, December 8, 2014

Spiritual Warrior Woman Seeking Signals

These are turbulent times all around us -- and -- for many of us within ourselves. It is not easy to integrate the data flooding our senses; the impressions vividly presented on the internet, the sheer deluge of happenings reported from around the globe, the rapidly shifting world we live in, almost moment by moment.

For a person such as myself – still and forever, no doubt, recovering from extended blindness, day-to-day sensory overload is even more difficult to manage than for the ordinary person.

By maintaining the spiritual ambiance I developed in my years of blindness and recovery from blindness (1998 – 2006) I managed to buffer myself from these daily onslaughts and nurture the serenity I developed during that period.

Being blind gave me the gift of being able to see beyond what one sees ordinarily.

Beyond has often been a comfortable place to be, but it is not enough, over time.

I tell myself that this extraordinary sight came upon me, most pointedly, at the time of 9/11. Unable to see the graphic displays of physical destruction at the World Trade Center and elsewhere, I instead acquired a heightened sensitivity to the emotional, spiritual and cultural energies in motion at the time.

I have never been the same since. On the other hand, no one else has been either.

It was at that point that I believe I began to experience an added dimension to my sense of self in the world around me. Had I not been, also, the beneficiary of input and guidance from Murat Yagan, my spiritual teacher and New Horizons community development mentor at that time, perhaps this dimension might not have become as expansiveness as it did.

So I was blessed, again, by this circumstance.

However it came to me, there it was – and – there it is; I have a gift to be able to view the systems of society and politics, personal and community relationships with an expanded view.

This past week I’ve gotten a bit overloaded by national circumstances, specifically what has been happening in Ferguson, Missouri.  This upheaval pulled me in.

It is time for me, I realized, to not hold back, time to give up spending quite as much time as I have, cloistered on this mountain that is home to New Horizons Retreat Center and myself.

I must take time away now to join with others in advancing our troubled conditions, racism long being an issue that riles my sensitivities. I carry a long history along these lines that makes it matter like no other issue.

Honoring the need I feel for participation on this is hard for me. I leave my sanctuary with reluctance.

The world beyond is embroiled in chaos.  To serve it is to immerse oneself in it. How to do this and not be pulled down into the turmoil, but rather to allow ones Light to lift, I am not completely certain.

For now, the only way I know to do it is to set my sights on seeking the signs that signify “….this is the way, follow it.”

What I imagine will come next is engaging with other Spiritual Warriors like myself.

And, so I will. Divine Guidance will be our guide, if we are to do right.

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