Tuesday, December 16, 2014

Bill Cosby’s Wife Sez

Or, why we all, especially women, need to know the convict part of ourselves.

Remember the Penn State/Jerry Sandusky scandal of last year?

How easily we forget such things after they move off the media's center stage.

But a whole lot of people, the victims, their family and friends, the student body, the administrators and last but not least, the Penn State Board of Trustees, won’t ever forget.

These people and more have had their lives changed forever. As have the women who “say” Bill Cosby accosted them, whether, in fact, he did or did not. Whatever they are now opening up about apparently has had some cost for them as a "secret" and speaking out is no less expensive.

One man, Jerry Sandusky, now imprisoned for multiple sex abuse crimes for what is likely to be the rest of his life, brought it all down.

Yet his wife, Dottie, still defends him, reaffirming her stance that her husband “is not a pedophile” and did not commit any crimes.

G-d bless these wives who stand by their men. Hillary, who has a good chance at being our next president did the same. And look where she is today.

I, on the other hand, ran away from a marriage to a sex abuser?  Eventually it cost me what was most important to me; my daughter.

So who can really say what is best in these circumstances.

Personal issues aside --- though I have paid dearly for my inability or was it unwillingness to succumb to what instinct, emotions and logic brought me to realize, how do such decisions make sense when the meaning of our lives has its final tally?

I don’t believe I have the answers to how other people should resolve such quandaries for themselves. I barely have a certifiable certitude about my own choices, long and short term.

But this I do know, we all have a dark and light side. And, the male version of the dark, seems to have some characteristics that are often foreign to many of us who have never investigated it thoroughly, particularly the average woman.

I consider my Dark Side to be male for the most part, modeled originally by my father’s Type A personality. This incorporated an entrepreneurial adeptness for which I am most grateful. It also came along with a gambling addiction which was merely one symptom of an overall survivor/addict personality. I gave it up easily.

Watching my father create his own downfall and die at too early an age made this one easy to see and relinquish. But the less obvious traits challenged me and hung on voraciously. Some had a death-defying hold that only determination and diligence could eradicate.

In many ways I have been blessed to be challenged as I was, especially as I faced the devastating loss of my father, my hero.

The upside was that my father’s untimely death and certain other seemingly serendipitous events brought me to examine the convict side of me. Just in time I figured out that a side of me had a survival-driven way of being in the world no womanly role model would have been likely to pass on, at least not when I was growing up.

The single greatest advantage to the challenges I faced growing beyond these inhibitors (and learned to master both personally and as a professional) turned into a pride I now hold with respect for myself that no man would/will ever have me saying, as did Bill Cosby’s wife, Camille –

A different man has been portrayed in the media over the last two months. It is a portrait of a man I do not know.
Well, of course, Camille and Dottie! Your husbands have sides to them you didn’t know! We all do! But men can generally cover it more than a woman.

I say that as a woman who loves men – and – also believes I understand them for the most part; the dark and the light sides.

Hillary, at least, knew the “dark side” of Bill. But Hillary, like myself, has a strong man-side which I trust she knows quite well. And, look where she is today!

Ladies, if you don’t know the ruthless, manipulative, power hungry convict side of yourself (which I believe Hillary does) open your eyes!

The male of every species known is different than the female in certain unique ways.

If you really believe you want to make it in a man’s world, I suggest you learn to know this part of yourself; the male part of you that will do whatever to get whatever.

However -- and here's the clincher -- that male side has a bit more of a challenge than you (ladies naturally) might at taking the high road, the path lit more brightly by Light and Love. Pay attention to the cost and the benefits of this difference between males and females.

You see, the right brain abilities most women excel at utilizing, beyond our men, has a way of moderating the ruthlessness of the male side of us. Used well it can also aid the ascendance of our male heroes. Ladies, choose, to utilize this inherent difference well!

Actually, some of the greatest spiritual teachers like our Beloved Murat Yagan will tell you that –

Men need women to assist their ethical/spiritual transformation. 
They cannot do it without us!

Thus tangling with the male of our species is how we become Spiritual Warrior Women!

This is one of the major reasons we, especially women, need to know the convict part of ourselves.

It is our most direct, potentially conscious link available to imagining a driven part of ourselves we might never understand otherwise.

Read more about this, now in progress, in my well-documented, factually-based perspectives on my new site, Exploring Your Dark Side: The Adventure of A Lifetime.

Check it out, ladies especially!

Written for and inspired by -- Kay who turned her marriage and her man around by learning about the Dark Side!

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