Then There Is The Frustration

I feel such freedom when I experience my wholeness. Sharing the wholeness in me, then being understood and accepted, even supported in my fullness, can lift me right up to awe. Of course, this is not an experience unique to me. You and I know that it just grows out of our basic human nature; our yearning for what is sometimes an unknown something better than what we experience in the ordinary.

I had a Mountain of Awe high from this kind of experience recently; this being acknowledged and understood. It looked to be a genuine gesture and a promise to climb. Then it sank into the ordinary, maybe even a step below. A new friend of mine was quite adamant about my reading, at least, one quote from a favorite writer of her’s, Neale Donald Walsch. I thought/hoped she was, thus, a real walker of the talk. So I gave my heart away.

The quote follows here.

"How is it possible that 6.9 billion people can all claim to want the same thing (Peace, security, opportunity, prosperity, happiness, and love) and be singularly unable to get it"?

With this same friend the backsliding occurred. I felt such frustration and disappointment When it became clear, one more time, how it is possible for so many to say they want what sounds on the surface like the same things and yet be unable to achieve the satisfaction of this yearning, seemingly so likeminded. But not surprisingly there really are so many reasons we are unable to attain what we say we want with one another.

Not the least of these is simply an absence of skill in the art of being human at our best (i.e. the possible human in the possible society). This is some of where my heart and mind visited while I was on vacation; this disappointment and frustration that was already brewing. Thus New Horizons Small “Zones of Peace” Project and our Possible Human, Possible Society Study came to a turning point that grew out of our Abkhazian Dinner event. Recognizing the absence of skill in encounters of diverse natures we saw emerging at the event, right in the midst of our offering to move beyond such limitations, Sue and I took serious heed as to what for us to do next, realizing that we do have a tried and true skill set.

What to do? What to do? Thus we came to a turning point. As I stated before

“We will never see the end of what began …. but we will always remember where our adventure originated.”

Turning Points

I was trying to get all things New Horizons as well as myself up on our toes at our most recent Abkhazian Dinner. And, I/we would have been content enough with simply presenting as much as time would allow. However, as far as covering the bases we had in mind, we certainly achieved our ends; mission complete!

It was the lift that was
most important.

We were, nonetheless, without the foresight to predict that New Horizons has been lifted up to significant heights since our last Abkhazian Dinner. In the three years that has elapsed, the whole of the package of programs and projects that make up the New Horizons Support Network, Inc. has grown with a surprising and majestic leap into a brand new era.

Of course, the reasons behind such motion are not our’s alone. And, though the tangible results are still a long way off, the motion is visible now to those of us behind the scenes, particularly our board members. Yet what we are seeing is more truly about collective motion, people doing their part, now accelerating around us of which we are but a small piece.

Still Abkhazian Dinner event with its array of teachable moments, emerging from it, became a turning point for New Horizons. Event became process without our needing to do more than our planned presentation up against the backdrop of our Possible Human, Possible Society Study and a most interesting collection of attendees.

I cannot say it better than I did a few postings back, this year’s Abkhazian Dinner event has launched – “A rich and important process. Not just an event. We will never see the end of what began …. but we will always remember where our adventure originated.”

Do you see what we see?

More to come.

This Place In My Life

Reflections Upon Returning From A Vacation

I have reached a place in my life where I absolutely know that traveling with OTHERS to AWE is not only so much more fun than by myself, but totally possible with untold numbers of people. So I am always on the lookout for these OTHERS.

On the other hand, these days, I think that many people are not feeling as encouraged as I am about finding these OTHERS. Either they don’t want to take the trouble to look more persistently for them (Who has time these days to make much effort in this direction anyway, right?), are carrying too much resentment and hurt from the past to open new doorways or are just plain too scared to risk the ups and downs of the process New Horizons calls Climbing the Mountain of Awe.

Anyway, if you are allowing me to be one of your OTHERS I thank you wholeheartedly. I/we, the members of New Horizons’ Board of Directors, are truly committed to this objective that we call Climbing the Mountain of Awe (i.e. building “exceptional community”). We have been learning and developing better and better ways to do this with others since 1976! And, we’ve got it down to a formula; a co-created formula (i.e always a work in progress).

The only obstacle we seem to have not yet overcome is that our Trip-Tik asks us to, occasionally, get down in the dirt with others and do that within certain parameters, in a nice clean way. Lots of people say they want to be community with one another but they don’t want there to be any guidelines, boundaries or rules for the building. But, exceptional community-building needs a bit of structuire so this lack seems a bit like anarchy to us, albeit on a small scale, "neighborly" basis.

As for my take on the absence in this area, allow me to say only this: I haven’t yet seen or heard of any enduring configurations that were successfully put together without some kind of blueprint or inherited guidelines, albeit even minimal ones. (Take a look at the Sphinx or Stonehenge, for example, or the whole universe. Something or somebody or whatever had/has some kind of plan, dontcha think? And, certainly one that is far beyond any one of our limited perspectives though we may be assigned to take up the role of tour guide from time to time.)

We want to travel with you. And, we do have a definitive map (not of our own making by far, yet with a significant amount that we’ve contributed in our close to thirty-five years of experience of trial by fire. So we hope you will take time to get on board and travel with us with our well-worn, time-worn map. Destination = AWE!

Insight

It’s intriguing when insight begins to dawn. It can feel like a blessing, especially when one has been wandering around a bit foggy in the realm of clarity as I have, particularly regarding where I went for my vacation; a not insignificant hiatus for me. Ah, there it is, I said to myself.

Yum! There it is; the clarity, the insight, right before one’s eyes; just a speck beyond “on purpose” seeing until that moment when more is revealed, at last.

Such delight is with me now. Almost two months after New Horizons wonderfully successful Abkhazian Dinner event on behalf of our local Season For Non-Violence. I needed a vacation after that though it did not come about for almost a month. With a taste of traditional Abkhazian food, setting the tone for the dinner portion, a real feast was enjoyed. Abkhazian chicken made by my Beloved collaborator, Sue deVeer, highlighted the menu alongside delicacies brought by our guests. Nonetheless, the real feast for us, was the mixing and mingling of local folks as well as those from a bit father away.

Up against the backdrop of our program, the food and the colorful combination of attendees, the event was a near perfect experience for our organization and hopefully, for our guests. This was our seventh (or so) Abkhazian Dinner and our fourth on behalf of the Season For Non-Violence. We look forward to many more of the same. Named our (Almost) Annual Abkhazian Dinner, we have been presenting these dinners since 2000. obviously, missing a few years here and there.

If perfection was our aim, it was “almost” that. Then there were the teachable moments! Ah, teachable moments; the gift and the challenge of event organizers and presenters. This event was no different. Behind the scenes, there were a few moments to be remembered. I am so grateful for these as for “almost” the first time since I lost my eyesight (1998), I lead our organization through an event and beyond into an adventure.

A rich and important process. Not just an event. We will never see the end of what began at this year’s Abkhazian Dinner but we will always remember where our adventure originated.

More to come!

I Feel Such Freedom When ---

what I see from my up high shaman’s view of the world can be applied with some practical benefit on ground level. And, even better, have my practical application received with respect. When I can take what has been vividly apparent to me but not so readily obvious to others and say, “Look here, do you now see what I see?” And, they, or, at least one or more “theys” says “Yes. I see it too.”

Awe = person to person
resonence.

There have been quite a few powerful vistas seen from my shaman’s view as New Horizon’s Possible Human, Possible Society Study started moving into high gear last fall. 

However, try as I might, most of what I was seeing seemed difficult for others to grasp. Oh, a good many saw what I saw in a general way. Still the details and,, even more importantly, the mechanisms so obvious to me seemed almost totally obscure to the others.

It gets so frustrating, even quite discouraging. Sometimes I want to walk away from all the seeing and not being able to say and be understood, particularly with respect. Whether it is my inability to articulate, or someone else’s not understanding. But where is there to go?

Besides this yearning to connect being met is not so readily the general human condition, particularly in our westernized world. Rather we live in (or rather endure) an absence of comprehension by others. Yet we are battling hard to overcome this plight when we take a stand to ensure our First Amendment rights for freedom of speech.

I see it this way so I roundly chastised myself for an old habit of mine; bailing out on communication when it becomes difficult, noting that I have still, somewhat, that old proclivity to lack courage and endurance when choppy waters surface.

But lo and behold ten days ago, just when I had gone through another discouraging cycle of seeing and not being able to say, actually saying but not seemingly being understood and respectfully responded to, someone I admire immensely caught me by surprise. She bravely (for her too) notified me that she “got it” about a New Horizons matter of concern to Sue and I – and -- would as a result of my speaking up, take on a challenging and, thus, courageous responsibility on her end. 

Bravo said I, all aglow! More to come.

Here I am again

But where is here? And where have I been, you might think to ask. I wonder myself where I’ve been while I’ve been vacationing in my own backyard. Certainly I did go somewhere while I mostly stayed home, putting my personal needs first, ahead of the seemingly, almost ceaseless demands of my work.

I got caught up on some things that needed catching up on. Like the dentist and paying a bit more attention to my diet, nutrition and exercise practices, making progress, getting them, once again, in a better routine. That felt really good.

So how did I mange, today, to pre-empt my mountain road walk to handle business calls? I’d better watch out that this pattern of pre-empting me, personally, does not continue to creep up, again, on me.

Vacationing, though my body pretty much remained on ground level, there was also the trekking up to my inner Mountain of Awe that is so much the hike and the destination always beckoning me forth. As infrequently as I, physically, left the mountain side upon which I live, for the ten days of my vacation, I know that still I traveled far and wide. Yet not surprisingly I cannot say where I’ve been.

However, as I unpack my hiking gear and settle in, again, until the next vacation, I see that I’ve brought many gifts back from my travels. I will share them as I, once again, find my place here on this blog and pick up my stride. What I can see of them, even at this surface level, is that I have returned with a bit more wisdom and clarity and a refreshed perspective on my personal approach to how I live my life and to what purpose. Vacations are meant to do just this.

Though my metaphorical bags are right now still piled in the heap I left them in when I first arrived home here on ground level from the vacation, there are a few things that I can now see with increased clarity. At the top of the list is that I am certain that I love to write though I have mixed feelings about deadlines. That sums up the fact that sometimes it is a challenge to write, yet my life feels a certain kind of emptiness when I don’t. Perhaps the most satisfying is when I have just finished a piece.

So on the heels of my vacation, once again, I am called to re-commit myself to those four blog articles I “should” be producing each week (or most of the time) for these two sites. And, I must also lovingly reassure myself and my board that I will do my best to accomplish this feat and if I’m lucky, with the best of my intentions, to, at least, write two.

As I know and so do they that I love to write, they are assured that whatever I do will be with the caring to which our organization is pledged. Truly, I believe my board members will tolerate this pace in me, as there is really no one else standing in line for my job. Lisa will, therefore, no doubt, continue to keep my “hit” numbers and content on her radar screen, yet cut me plenty of slack as her erstwhile but somewhat limited student. And, Sue will, meanwhile, still be ready to rejoice in whatever I offer. She so much just wants my voice to be heard. “Dayenu” whatever I do will be enough for her though she might like to see and/or hear my words out in the world a bit more frequently, perhaps.

More to come.

Anastasia On Vacation

Returning Tuesday, April 24

Enjoy the springtime!