Reflections On Why Truth Matters To Me

Along with struggling to, as simply as possible, meet my monthly blog posting quota on this final day of the month, I struggle more than I might ordinarily, as I continue day-after-day this past month, to be "Caught up In Sixes And Sevens.”

On this day -- feeling especially stressed, as I find myself torn between my earthly obligations and those of a higher plane, my Jewish heritage in particular adding to my pressures -- I decide to allow the unfolding day to show me the way through it, rather than me taking control, as best as a human can, to direct the day’s outcome. 

With this commitment, I stayed on this path devotedly, making it an intrinsic part of the very private Rosh Hoshana practice I had created for myself, until 2 p.m. today.

The following are my journaled entries of this day, divided into two parts with the addition of a second article to follow on this theme, coinciding with the idea of there being a Rosh Hoshana Morning Service and an added, later-in-the-day service called Musaf.

Below and also in part two of this themed discussion, are my running commentaries as I attempt to be a “good Jew” and a conscientious blog writer too.

7 a.m.

I wake up early. My first thoughts go directly to four main things: 1. Today is the last day of the month; 2. I still need to write four blog articles before midnight tonight, 3.  It is Rosh Hoshana, the beginning of the Jewish New Year, also called the Ten Days of Repentance or the Ten Days of Awe; and 4. It is my obligation, as a child of my heritage, a Jewish woman, to spend my day in prayer today.

Obviously I must now resolve the dilemma presented here of how I can manage this deadline, in the era of the internet, and be a “good Jew? 

7:20 a.m. 

I decide to put my looming deadlines aside and focus instead on the demands of the holiday, quietly hoping that perhaps the magic and mystery of lifelong, familiar rituals and practices will bring insight with them before my final writing deadline at midnight.

Relieved of immediate pressures, I check in on the news, coming across an interesting article in the Washington Post, by Alia Dastagir titled “It’s been two years since the MeToo movement exploded. Now What?” 

I am drawn into it, especially as it is written in a contemplative style, corresponding to the one in my head.  

In the article the author makes reference to the words of another whose name I have neglected to register. (But will note when I do.) 

Simple words, similar to ones I've expressed myself, reflecting one more of the reasons truth matters. It's the end of the  secrets, their polar opposite.

“It's the secrets that burden you. It's the hiding that burdens you," she said.”

“Yum, I tell myself. 

“There is resonance all around me today. See it’s working – this let go, let G-d pathway I’m choosing for myself today. 

Somehow I'm "doing" Rosh Hoshanah and my writing tasks too, without doing the latter at all.”

8:15 a.m.

I feel prompted to search out astrology predictions on Donald Trump and read a few.

What am I seeking here, I wonder. 

Some kind of alternate reality truth-seeking when, consciously, I am trying to get ready for the holiday?

8:30 a.m.

My mind turns to Rosh Hoshanah, the prayers and rituals established eons ago for this day of a Jew's reflections of the highest order, focused mainly on one's relationship to G-d.

I ask myself what is different about today, for me, from the usual? 

I learned to put myself wholeheartedly into my relationship with Great Mystery, which is not exactly what they call "IT" in the synagogue, the very moment I knew I had lost my eyesight, Labor Day weekend, 1998. 

It was the most sensible thing I could figure out to do at the time. Is there something else I should be doing now? 

My very survival of that ordeal could not have been achieved had I done otherwise, I remind myself. 

Is there a connection, I wonder, that links my survival with “why truth matters?” I ask myself.

Apparently I am still trying to work out my blog writing challenges on my chosen topic, why truth matters to me, as I lean in to Rosh Hoshanah.

9 a.m.  

Rain starts pouring down and my mind shifts to reflecting on the magic and mystery of rain.

I am especially grateful for rain these days. The contrast between last year's flooding and the extensive damages it wrought has shifted, this year, to near drought conditions.

Dependent on our well for water that has shown recent evidence of depletion, I am rejoicing at the abundance of the downpour, anticipating its washing over and nourishing the lingering remnants of my summer garden.

10 a.m. 

I check in again with the Washington Post, finding a beautifully written article, “On Rosh Hashanah, A Note Blown On This Ram’s Horn Will Echo All The Way From Auschwitz" by Chaim Steinmetz. 

The piece centers on the tale of a ram’s horn, called the shofar in Jewish tradition.

Steinmetz writes,

“In synagogues around the country, Jews will gather on Monday for Rosh Hashanah, the New Year holiday. …. A central element during prayer services will be a few simple notes blown on a shofar, a musical instrument fashioned from a ram’s horn and used since ancient times."

The story of this particular shofar which had been cautiously hidden in the death camp is poignant (You can read the entirety here.). Steinmetz continues – 

It would have taken enormous courage for those men to risk their lives by blowing the shofar. Such an act of faith during the war was hardly an isolated episode. A multitude of testimonies describe Jews making steep sacrifices to retain their religious and spiritual identity in the concentration camps. 

This, Steinmetz points out gives testimony to the strength that comes of faith and a dedication to higher "truths" than ordinary earth plane perspectives.

There it is again -- why truth matters.

10:30 a.m.

I do my daily "Morning Joe" check in call tol)ll)FF Sue.

Isabel, our Hood College Truth Or Dare Movement coordinator, and I text back and forth, eventually getting around to canceling our weekly meeting scheduled for today, as she has not been been feeling well.

I think this is just as well on my end. 

I would have needed to take a break from my prayer plans so rescheduling suits me today although I was really looking forward to that meeting that would have updated New Horizons Board and myself on the progress being made at Hood. 

11 a.m.

I situate myself on my living room couch, High Holiday prayer book in hand, readied, at last, to formally begin reading Rosh Hoshana prayers for day one of the Jewish New Year.

I make my start by lighting the ritual candles prior to my reading, taking the liberty to light them at a totally inappropriate time, according to tradition.

I allow myself not to care about "ordained time," choosing instead to honor my personal truth that these candles bring comfort to me at my chosen hour. This is good enough, according to "the G-d of my understanding" who is not all caught up on absolute form, instead respecting that it's the thought that counts.

11:30 a.m.

I turn again to the internet. This time to check out blessings for the holiday. I particularly am drawn to this one, the Shehecheyonu that offers the following prayer.

In Hebrew: Bo-ruch a-toh Ado-noi E-lo-hei-nu me-lech ho-olom she-he-che-ya-nu vi-kee-yi-ma-nu vi-hi-gee-an-u liz-man ha-zeh.

Translation: Blessed are you, L-rd our G d, King of the universe, who has kept us alive and sustained us and let us reach this time

1:00 p.m.

Reading through my holiday prayer book I feel a surge of beauty, a purity of Light energy is surrounding this time of prayer for me.

One passage particularly impacts me --

"It is the greatness of our tradition that ideas derived from our forefathers can teach all generations truths of universal validity, as we...."confront age-old questions.

Followed by these words -- 

"Live with integrity, do what is right, speak the truth without deceit"

Ah ha. This is what it’s about – why truth matters to me!

The answer is very much alive in the ancient teachings of those Beloved ones who went before me, the ancestors of my Jewish heritage.

Added comfort arises as I reflect that these words and ideas are as true of the Christian Bible as they are of the Jewish, corresponding also to Muslim teachings and faith.

2:00 p.m.

I conclude my prayer time, not having written a word to meet my blog demands. 

However, even without effort I have kept myself true to the demands on me for the day while simultaneously, semi-consciously reflecting “On Why Truth Matters To Me,” as I immersed myself in Rosh Hoshanah celebration. 

Nothing wrong about that.

Now without even trying I am able to conjure up blog writing ideas, gleaned from holiday prayers, and move my day forward into accommodating that deadline of mine. 

Words from a favorite journalist, now deceased, Charles Krauthammer crystallize my thoughts further – 

“You’re betraying your whole life if you don’t say what you think…” 

After a half-day spent in ritual contemplation, without writing a word, Rosh Hoshanah has brought me to understand what I probably needed most today, a lesson on“Why Truth Matters To Me.”

Conclusion: 

• I have a passion for truth, a passion I must have developed in lHebrew and Sunday School  -- and -- even more at the knees of my grown-ups, especially from my father's role modeling and the prayers of the Jewish High Holidays. 

How about that!!  That's probably how I got to be just how I am, a woman with a passion for truth. 

Your passion might be football. So be it!

Part I concludes. More to come.