Two Pastors, Two Ministries, One Church And An Experience Of Awe

I want to tell you – whoever you are -- my stories about an exceptional congregation of people. Congregants who were – almost to the person – willing to transform any – and all -- of their own personal darkness into Light in the service of a mission I headed, the “Saving Centennial” mission.

I want to share my collection of stories about this congregation of people who were so willing to be fully accountable – in every personal and collective action -- that they saved their church from closing.

I want to talk about the systemic change that occurred within that church. I want to talk about organizational dysfunction set aright.

I want to talk about congregants whose love for their church and their pastor, their faith in prayer and their willingness to surrender to Divine Guidance is allowing them to continue to build a ministry to profoundly aid the disenfranchised.

The local newspaper can tell you that this church went from “Little Left To Give” (Frederick News Post, June 27, 2009) -- on the brink of being closed down – to a renewal that allowed them – in a period of nine or ten months to achieve their essential fundraising objectives (Frederick News Post, April 3, 2010).

However, the words of a reporter cannot do justice to the “awe.” Awe is just not the language of daily news, even in a smallish community such as the locale of Centennial Memorial United Methodist Church (Frederick, Maryland).

But how does one convey the wonder that might be found in "seeing” beyond the ordinary?

The words that make ideas, concepts and experiences easily understood do not come easily to me.

And, “awe,” even defined is not an adequate explanation.

Lisa, my loyal and generous board member who has designed this blog (and the other) and helps me continue to develop it – with beauty – tells me (as have others) that I write like an esoteric, graduate school professor. They say I need to write in the language of a #101 class.

I think I used to be able to do that. But it was a long time ago. Before I was blind; the state in which I first found the natural highs of “awe.” So am I, now, more limited in the mainstream world? Perhaps that is the case.

So how can I, now, tell you about my experience of "awe" in working with the congregation of Centennial Memorial United Methodist Church and its esteemed leader, Pastor George Earle, Jr.? And, convey the fundamentals of “how” with Pastor George’s guidance, my willingness to lead for a time and an exceptional congregation of people – we reached the peak of the Mountain of Awe – for awhile?

A few of the clues as to “how” what was accomplished came about are: personal accountability, prayer, synergy ( a high step above cooperation) – and – the almost lost art of Conversation which we all did almost non-stop for a time, even those who usually love to text!

Conversation As Art

The word “conversation” seems to be on everybody’s lips these days. But is “conversation” really the balm it is touted as being? Or, is it a dying art that my generation -- that of the ‘60s and ‘70s -- beamed up high when we were busy being “high.

Hangin’ out was a big part of the pause that refreshed us back then. We had a great deal of conversation. But conversation takes time. Who takes time today?

(Besides, almost no one remembers what anyone said back then, including themselves. And, unfortunately – while we truly did “pause,” some of us got hooked on the art of pausing and didn’t do much else.. But that’s a story for another time.)

A story I picked up from a recent Washington Post article brought the question to mind for me; to converse or not to converse. In an article headlined as – "Texting Generation Doesn't Share Boomers' Taste For Talk" (Washington Post, Sunday, August 9, 2010) -- Deborah Tannen, age 65, “a linguistics professor at Georgetown University who studies how people converse in everyday life,” voiced her concerns over an area of “polarization” between the younger and older generations.

She noted the strong inclination to misinterpret one another between the generations, arising over cell phone communication. To make her point, Tannen stated that “her generations feelings” –

“…are perfectly captured in a recent New Yorker magazine cartoon that shows two older, balding men sitting at a bar. The caption reads: "I used to call people, then I got into e-mailing, then texting, and now I just ignore everyone."

The New Horizons Small “Zones of Peace” Project has as one of its main initiatives a four part conversations format called “Coffee House Conversations.”

(Perhaps, as one volunteer suggested, we might just need, at this point in time, to put some of our New Horizons’ Small “Zones Of Peace” Project conversations talents to work bridging the communications gap between the older and the younger generations.)

In the three years our conversations project has been active it has been rewardingly successful. One project, the "Saving Centennial Mission,” was particularly impactful, moving a church -- Centennial Memorial United Methodist Church, Frederick, Maryland -- from threatened closure (Frederick News Post, June 23, 2009) to a congregational revitalization and an organizational turnaround, including their achieving direly needed fundraising objectives.

In honor of the coming one year anniversary of the conversations that led to this victory, I think it is time, now, for me to begin sharing tales from the adventure of --

"Two Pastors, Two Ministries, One Church And My Experience Of Awe"

Coming soon!

Finding Light In The Darkness

Occasionally I am asked, "What was it like to be blind?" (1998 -- 2008) Very occasionally! Though I am not sure why people do not inquire more frequently. (Perhaps blindness is just too scarey to even consider out loud.) I generally answer, "It is still rather difficult for me to describe. However, I can tell you that recovering from being blind was a great deal more difficult than being blind."

Today someone with my eye disease sent me a message on an internet forum. That posting -- somehow -- enabled me to write some about the subject, if only approaching it from the edges. Another one of my 1,000 masks comes off. today, I think; one of the many that has to do with "being a blind person." I hope you will read what I have posted.

I am particularly encouraged because in this posting of my own, I have made a beginning, at least, of a central message I want to convey on this blog -- in blindness I discovered the "awe" that has shaped me, personally, and has provided the foundations for what has now become the Small "Zones Of Peace" Project.

(With gratitude beyond measure for my spiritual mentor, Murat Yagan* as well as my opthamologist, Dr. John Gottsch. I credit both of them with helping me to "see." * Murat is the author of "Ahmsta Kebzeh; The Science of Universal Awe," a challenging and profoundly moving work for the devoted student of world peace.)

From "The Peace Activists Survival Handbook"

I do hope you've noticed I’ve not been around here for awhile. I’d like that; to know my presence makes a difference, even a slight bit. Thank you. 

Well, I’ve not been far. Just intently involved in one of the Small "Zones Of Peace" Projects favorite undertakings. July is the month we (Small “Zones Of Peace” volunteer leaders) prepare our “Conflict Resolution and Anger Management #101” presentation for the UNESCO Center for Peace, Model United Nations Camp. 

We, especially, our veteran facilitator, Jim French, have come to love presenting this program. At the end of this year's presentation, Jim said that working with this young group of peace-builders gives him hope for the world. Jim's tireless and skillful contributions to our program, year after year, uplifts my spirit, too. They truly are an "awesome" group, these teens that gathered in Hagerstown, Maryland the past few weeks -- from around the world. 

This year's group brought together young, dedicated peace-builders from as far away as Australia, Brazil, Columbia, China, India, Mexico and South Korea. Be sure to check out the massive scope of this summer camp and model United Nations program at http://www.opportunitiesforyouth.org/2009/11/29/18-31-of-july-2010-unesco-center-for-peace-inter.


It is a genuinely inspirational endeavor, offered as a result of the dedication and persistance of my dear friend, Guy Djoken, the program's executive director, and his beautiful, wife. Jinji Zhou. 

This was our third annual presentation. However, we had been spoiled, I think now, by the ease with which we had been able to create a modicum of awe with the teen students in 2008 and 2009. Compared to this one, the previous two workshops were a breeze for us. 

This year's challenge: 

Close to 1/3, by my count, of the participating students spoke only Chinese (and, only through an interpreter). We didn't know that! Not until we found ourselves stuck in a puddle of polarization (a very banal one) that we had to tug ourselves out of for awhile. 

We may not have reached the peak on our “Mountain of Awe,” however, we (our volunteer team and the students) get an A for having achieved the point of “elegant solutions.” And, bravo we have it all on video! 

Thanks to a very industrious, creative summer volunteer, Kevin Paul. Kevin hopes to have the transformation we did achieve ready for YouTube, sooner rather than later, pending the limitations of his returning to St. Mary’s College in the Fall. 

More to come soon.

Identity Called Up Short

Identity: Culture And Conflict

Having a discernable “identity” can be a tricky affair. To do life right, you need to have enough of this thing called “identity” but not too much.

One thing that “identity” can mean is that you honor what’s true for you. Yet in order to be at peace, you cannot cast aside what is true for others. Finding the balance between these “truths” can be challenging.

This lesson was brought home to me when, a few years ago, I served as the local president of a national Jewish women’s social action organization. My presidential term of office began on almost the exact same day as a local Jewish/Muslim controversy, minus two days. (In other words the controversy had already been set in motion before my first official “presiding” occurred.)

As a result of this, community polarization was brewing, both within the Jewish community as well as in the surrounding community at large. It was a difficult time for me to assume the presidential role, especially as I was new to the local Jewish community. Thank goodness, that as the executive director of a peace-building non-profit organization, the New Horizons’ Small “Zones of Peace” Project, I had a profound back-up support system from my volunteer team.

Because of these circumstances, I, personally, got buffeted about rather severely in my role as president of the women’s organization. However, to respect my personal sense of integrity, I needed to have and openly express an opinion on the crisis for the situation was impacting upon the organization I was attempting to lead.

How the Jewish community was handling things was in direct opposition to what I held to be responsible course of action as a peace-builder. If you read the articles I have written about "The Middle East Crisis In My Backyard,"you will notice my taking a stand against the “hiding out” I believed the local Jewish community was doing.

This was probably the first time in my life that I felt, personally, called to take a public stand on anything. It was a very uncomfortable and unpleasant ordeal for me.

What unexpected lessons I was learning on “identity: culture and conflict,” being the local president of the Jewish women's social action group! Nonetheless, I could not allow the situation to go unacknowledged.

My personal experience of most of the Jewish community not responding appropriately to the situation was one of grave concern. I saw a group I was representing placing all who were affiliated with them in a negative light in the greater community, even provoking anti-Semitic reactions.

As president of the women’s group, I saw myself, also, being put in a difficult position, publicly. One in which I was being chastised by members of the local community. It was not a situation which I believed I could "pretend" not to see; the damage accruing from the Jewish community electing to put its collective head in the sand. Or, do nothing about.

Additionally, I saw other, more effective ways to handle the situation, even “teachable moments” that were being overlooked. Eventually some of these were adopted by a small select representative group with beneficial, though short-term results. That is a related tale to be told at another time.

Overall, the position I took was not a popular one with the Jewish women's "social action" group, especially in my role as president of their organization -- and - as a newcomer to the Jewish community.

To date, I, personally, still haven’t gotten the “right” and the “wrong” of the situation and my role in it entirely sorted out. However, the pay back from the “elite” of the Jewish women’s group continues to fallout; a blight on me!

Speaking out about my experience of the situation and the lessons it spotlights about modern American life (not only contemporary Jewish American life) has, thus, now become important to me, so much so that I am working on an entire book on the subject, "The Middle East Crisis In My Backyard." What else could I call it?

I am grateful for the opportunity the controversy brought me in this way; lemons out of lemonade, once again. I anticipate surprising rewards from my work on this manuscript in progress.

Already it is helping me clarify where it is that I now stand as a Jewish woman in 21st century America. An important, but not an easily reconcilable issue, faced as we are, today, with the “real” Middle East crisis.

Strange isn't it how life brings us lessons we didn't even know we needed to learn? Jewish identity hadn't even crossed my mind as an area of contemplation in decades. Now it stands out as an critically important part of who I am, intricately entwined with the other 999 masks I wear, all of which are aspects of me.

And, the Jewish/Muslim controversy that was so challenging for me -- in my backyard -- has turned out to be a life changing experience! However, I was already a bit spoiled by the paths I had walked prior to taking on my presidential mantle in the women's "social action" group.

From years of community development and violence prevention experience, I knew there was a higher level of possible resolve to our local Jewish/Muslim controversy. I knew how it could be achieved if people worked together and were willing to go the distance required.

That is why I am still actively seeking that kind of resolve today; higher levels of Jewish/Muslim (and Christian) reconciliation on local levels, at least here in the United States.

And, teaching others from the medicine bag of peace-building tools I have been given.

That “knowing” of "what" is possible in situations like the one that was encountered here is what I am striving for in my life -- here and now -- in everything I do.

Fortunately, I have been blessed with mentors, guidelines and formulae to teach me the "how" of reaching this possible dream -- the vision of building small “zones of peace.”

As a result of “The Middle East Crisis In My Backyard,” the lessons I have learned and the teachings that have been available to me are now an integral part of the New Horizons’ Small “Zones of Peace” Project, a successful community development model that I head.

Not surprisingly, one of this projects main programs "Coffee House Conversations" has as its objective -- "cultural mediation." You can read more about these on our blog site (link posted above).

I am amazed that such unexpected and profound gifts, such as the Small "Zones Of Peace" Conversations Project model, came to me from my challenging experience as president of a Jewish women’s “social action” group that took almost no action at all.

Storytelling and Blindness: Overcoming the Separation

I have never seen my friend Sarah Blake. For one thing, she lives faraway in another state. But, if we could meet face-to-face, which we almost did two years ago, she would still not be able to “see” me. For although I have regained my eyesight, Sarah has not.

In some ways it doesn’t matter that we have never laid eyes upon one another. Sarah is one of my “best friends.” How can I possibly know that for sure? Of course, it’s the stories we’ve been telling each other for years now, around seven, I think.

Sarah and I have told one another stories about losing sight and regaining it. Stories about being blind. Stories about working with people. (I am so proud of my friend Sarah as she has recently become an “almost” ordained minister.) We have also shared stories, simply about day-to-day life, relationships with family members and men!

Sarah has listened to my stories of not knowing how “to be” in the world. The challenges I’ve experienced when faced with the --

“Pleased to see you, again. What have you been doing in your career the past few years? Oh, you’ve been being blind? Well how is your new book coming along?”

If you value the overcoming of human separation, I hope you have a “Sarah Blake” in your life. I’m so glad I do. People like Sarah in my life are the gifts that are helping me take off the 1,000 masks I wear.

With love to Sarah from Anastasia

Who Am I? Psychology #101

Back in my mid-twenties a friend of mine played a Psych #101 game with me that had been introduced in his class. The game or experiment, as it was most likely billed, was that one person asked another the question, “Who are you?” 

Each time the individual being questioned needed to answer that same question, "Who are you?" rapidly, 20 times in succession. 

Being his guinea pig, I played the game. I have never forgotten, that I had only one answer, each time – twenty times! “I am Elisa’s mother.” That was the sum total of who I knew myself to be then! At twenty-five. 

When I began to expand that inventory of myself, I don’t quite recall. It must have been a gradual thing to get to where I am now. Today, as I walked uphill and downhill on my morning mountain road walk -- that clears my mind so much -- I played this little game with myself, once again. Still, twenty different answers did not come easily. I came up with six in rapid succession, as follows (Thank goodness, I've grown some. Not so boring as I used to be.):

1. Elisa’s mother
2. Eric’s mother
3. A woman
4. An American
5. An American woman of Russian Jewish heritage
6. A healer
Now I am adding two more that occur spontaenously to me.

7. A country/mountain woman
8. A woman who "sees" -- everyday I thank G-d for that! (FYI, the "-" between the letters, G-d, is me honoring and proud of my Jewish heritage!)

I will ponder my other twelve answers and get back to you. In the meantime maybe you can "play" along with me. "Who am I?' And, "Who are you?" -- is, after all, a very long conversation. However, perhaps we can truly build global village if we could get down to the real!

Anastasia From the mountain where the weather is almost ideal today -- gorgeous! P.S. The name of my new friend from Bangladesh -- who is, by the way Muslim -- is "Zerrin Afza." 

You can read her posting that inspired me at: http://www.internationalpeaceandconflict.org/profiles/blogs/when-we-are-talking-about-our