Tuesday, March 3, 2015

Growth, Rebirth

The last thing I remember seeing the day I lost my eyesight was a rune of the ancient oracle of the Vikings, typically carved into stones.

The one I had selected, Isa, signified “standstill, withdrawal,” stillness, “the winter of spiritual life.”
Runes: Barakana,
Growth, Rebirth

The Ralph Blum version of this runes’ interpretation continues, “You may feel powerless to do anything except submit, surrender, even sacrifice some long cherished desire. Be patient for this is the period of gestation that precedes rebirth.”

And so it was to be for me for eight long years. But I am awakening these days, it seems, into a springtime season of my life.

To that message, named Isa, I was faithful, allowing my life from that day forth to be one totally of surrender. It was the dark night of my soul, the winter of my life in which everything I held dear until that moment was released.

What the Twelve Steps considers hitting bottom became my only true companion.

In the midst of this came my dearly Beloved mentor, Murat Yagan.

If you haven’t read it before you might appreciate here reading of my meeting with Murat and how it came to be that he became the devoted guide for both New Horizons and myself in the years that followed the development of our relationship, coinciding with my time in the dark into which he brought great light.  I have no idea how I could have navigated the depths of being I explored during that time had it not been for Murat and the Kebzeh community surrounding him.

Today, however, a new rune has come to me. This one, called Barkana, signifies growth and rebirth. It tells me to notice gentleness and the penetrating aspects in my life at this time.  It signals me to let go of any resistance I may have and draw upon my abilities to be modest, patient, diligent, fair and generous.

I will heed this as conscientiously as I did my surrendering. This has become my way over the years. 

Today I am aware of my need for guidance from beyond my own consciousness which is what brought me this morning back to the runes. Coffee House Conversations II On Race Relations is on its way. And, I am challenged to expand many parts of myself beyond their comfort zones to do my part for its success.

Wish me well, I am indeed challenged by this new project in ways I had recently forgotten. I am pressed, once again, because of my commitment to it to reach beyond the blindness of my interactions with the world around me.  What I see is not always pretty in me, or in others.

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