Monday, October 27, 2014
Searching For Goddess-zilla, My Inner Warrior Hero
I woke up this morning; much earlier than intended, feeling crushed, decimated. So I buried my head into my pillow, turning myself over in search of the replenishing power of more sleep.
For the next three hours, in and out of unsettled slumber, I battled my way to regaining my inner strength; the creative power I rely upon to craft the beauty that fills most of my days.
It had been a challenging week, this one just passed. A blindness-threatening eye infection had sent me to Johns Hopkins Wilmer Eye Institute five days out of seven for emergency care.
Thank goodness I have one of the world’s top ophthalmologists, Dr. John Gottsch, as my doctor and am, thus, SEEING improvement today.
But it’s been rough, let me tell you!
There is no way I ever want to be blind again. But there that menace to my well-being was, looming over me again this past week. And, the ordeal, had emotionally caught up with me this morning as progress on the purely physical level allowed me a respite.
My eye disease, keratoconus, diagnosed when I was a junior in college, has been and will continue to be a fast moving roller coaster ride when symptoms of its perpetual presence resurface.
One learns to live with it, have enormous gratitude for the smooth times and lean into the turbulent ones with the medical attentiveness required.
Fortunately, my life has been dominated by days of fun, adventure and celebration. And, I am not much moved for new tests to my endurance. I like the good times better. Of course, I did rise to the test and, no doubt, am, again, a better person for facing the challenge.
Murat Yagan, our Beloved community development mentor, recently deceased, guided us, his devoted students, to always be intent on refining our skills as alchemists; turning the lead of ourselves into gold. By now the discipline of the practice has become an art form in many of us.
However, today, I was weary from the near ceaseless practice of this art this past week.
Yet evidenced by the way I feel now, uplifted as I look outside my office window at the golden hues of sunlight shining on autumn leaves, I feel my Inner Warrior Hero strength that fuels my life surging through me again. I am an Amazon-bred woman in the spirit of the Caucasus Mountains from which Murat originated, horseless though I be.
My Amazon-self, the part of me that I call Goddess-zilla, feels ready to take on this new day now. A few hours of added sleep, a bit of telephone hanging out with my Spirit Sister Sue and an innate, highly disciplined Inner Warrior Hero, the alchemist within me have got me going again.
P.S. The Inner Warrior Hero as societal and political transformer is to be the next coming attraction from New Horizons and myself so keep your EYES OPEN FOR DEVELOPMENTS HERE, featuring our new --
with interactive applications to help you transform the lead of your life into the gold.
Coming in November!