Where Have I Been Hiding Lately? In A Tin Trash Can, Maybe?

Hiding? Maybe?

For me, the past weeks, since last I wrote, have often felt as if my whole self is trying to bury itself in a tin trash can. Trying to escape? From what, I ask myself?

Part of the problem has been that some people, such as my cell phone providers, know I’m in there and have been, based on their agendas, beating on my place of concealment, like a drum. The noise has been deafening!

Oh dear, the racket being made as I have, no matter the obstacles, kept trying to lift myself to some higher place where the incessant noise of the transformation I am undergoing might stop for awhile!

But on many days, recently, it seemed as if the banging would never, ever stop!

What has it been, truly, that has been feeling like  ceaseless drumming on my head; on my whole being, in fact?

A combination of things, I surmise, again, not the least of it, my cell phone service and providers; two of them A T and T and Verizons in the foray with me, each with their own agendas for me.

A blessing, as well as a liability for whatever has been amiss, is that I also typically see things of an interactional level that others often overlook and am thus often extra impacted due to my sensitivities. I miss things too. Thus my ongoing, daily transformational practices demand discipline to keep me on a straight path.

These past weeks have required inordinate discipline via meditation. So I have, to still the banging, needed to meditate/contemplate for as much as six hours a day.  Obviously this is why my hours for New Horizons had to be cut back so drastically. 

OMG!! Oh dear! Oh dear!

One of my meditation sources that I have relied on for more than thirty years, the I Ching, tells me that I am in the midst of a major, major life transformation over which I have no control.

Sounds right to me.

Another message of the I Ching tells me that I must keep pressing forward through whatever obstacles present themselves. After all, this is what a Shaman must do; face into whatever seems dark and keep pushing through to the Light. As I’ve said before, being blind made a Shaman of me. So here it is, one more Shaman’s death test in my life, in the form my Ethics Complaint has taken.

On the other side of the troubles – and believe me, there have been almost ceaseless troubles for me, going through my Ethics Complaint process, the I Ching reminds me, will be a revealing of personal potentialities, long underdeveloped.  This too sounds right to me.

So press on I do, night and day, weekends too! The effort has been almost non-stop!

Yet I wonder, might the banging actually be coming from inside of me?

Reality suggests the contrary; the banging is coming from both inside me and out. I, likely, could not cause all this pressure by myself.

So here lies the explanation, I think ---

My intuitive, visionary wisdom suggests that I am on a path, maybe a fork in the road, where I am choosing the high way, leading me into a conjunction between formerly unused parts of me, pushing forward for a liberation I’ve not known before, coming up against forces that seem as if they would prefer to keep me low.

My Ethics Complaint process, as it stands today could be imagined to be such a dark force, by the scared, anxious part of me.  However, on this I am truly trusting, most of the time, that we, the Ethics Committee and myself, are still moving forward on a good path though feeling good is hardly how I would describe what is happening now that I am bound to keep confidential!

The demands of this confidentiality are hard for me too, a real killer when it comes to my much caring and support, right now, as so far the Ethics C0mmittee has offered little! 

Thank Goddesses for the great network of comfort and clarity I have on my own!

I have no idea how I could by managing all this, without!

Yesterday, however, the banging on my head stopped, for the moment, leaving me uncertain, other than conjecture about what has been causing the constant drumming that has felt so ferocious. With this pause, however, I am finally able to write some about where I’ve been while you haven’t been hearing from me.

For more of the back story that is likely responsible for my banging on the head experience, check out this blog on the New Horizons Small “Zones of Peace” site for more details.

To my mind, as I wrap up this post to you, it seems that dealing with my cell service might have been enough to pound on my head, especially tech dummie that I am, all on its own. 

But add that to my Ethics Complaint process, as it now stands, and there is real cause for a sane kind of transformational craziness!

Hoping to be back with you soon.

Anastasia 

Ethics Complaint Update: World Turned Upside Down In The Process Of Making It Right Side Up

My life, with its many emotional tones and habitual ways of seeing things, is  torn upside down, these days, in the process of making it right side up. 

This is how I am currently experiencing my Ethics Complaint resolution process, on an almost daily basis, as I become, more and more, totally immersed in the thick of it!

I have a wonderful, perfect for me, Ethics Committee representative to help me through the chaos the countless details represented by my complaint have brought into my life.  She may even turn out to be my second angel for this life round; Sue, my BFF, Spirit Sister, being the first.

I am making monumental, unexpected in some areas, progress in a practical sense, but torn up inside; never settled in one place or another for long these days.

Sometimes I sink into what seems like a bottomless pit of darkness and terror, like waves drowning out all that is good, beautiful and healthy in my life. 

I sit and stare out, blankly, at the trees I so love,  surrounding me, on this gorgeous land I call home, seeing almost nothing, as the darkness takes me down into its abyss.

At other times, such as this morning, upon awakening, I feel profound calm and peace, seeing so far and wide it is as if I have climbed to the very top of the mountain, upon which I live, able to see clear and sheer beauty of this life I am living.

At these mountain peaks I realize, once more, the truth of my mountain of awe.

No wonder my New Horizons Board of Directors has deemed it necessary and appropriate that I cut back my hours, by half, to manage both the time and emotional pressures of my Ethics Complaint resolution process. It has become almost all-consuming, sometimes, as if I am living in a bubble of reality, known only to me, apart from all others.

Other times, I feel as if I am expanding so much into a new world view, peopled by others I had not genuinely noticed, or only viewed superficially. At these times, I seem to become separate, whole and surprisingly more connected than ever before in my life with textures and tones in all that surrounds me I had not noticed before.

Truly my mind and my very life is being altered by this experience! 

With the guidance and support of my Ethics Committee representative, in an exceptionally fine way!

I thought you’d like to know.

But What About Me?

Where do I stand, personally, in the midst of this Ethics Complaint process, just for me, myself, all about me?

I have done my best to comply with each and every demand placed on me by those in control of the process.

I have done my best, within the limits imposed on me, to speak truth to power in the most diplomatic manner I know to do; not allowing myself to sink too deeply into viewing "them" as having power over me. 

Goddess Amaterasu, please shine on me
and see me through my cloudy and dark times.

Instead recognizing and holding to my belief that, other than the  power of the Unknowable, the ultimate power for my life is ME!!

Having done all this, including countless hours meditating and talking to Sue, my BFF, to get emotional support and keep a clear mind, still I feel wrung out like a wet dishcloth, now, after having had my first -- and very fine-- Ethics Complaint person-to-person meeting.

So, what about me?

One thing is certain; there is no business as usual in my life, any longer!

My Ethics Complaint process has become all-consuming, as evidenced by my new professional status, described in this post, New Horizons Executive Director’s Ethics Complaint Filing Prompts Partial Leave-Taking, for the non-profit organization, New Horizons Support Network, Inc., I founded and head. 

No wonder I feel wrung out.

With all this behind me -- and -- the potential for more flooding again this week hovering over our local area, where am I today?

Sitting in the sacred space in the place I call my indoor garden, employing some of my meditation tools, to help keep me grounded, clear and balanced, feeling wrung out like a wet dishcloth!

I reach back in my mind, surveying the landscape I have covered since that fateful day, late in December when I found the documents, that have brought me to today.

What am I now, with this, my recent past?

Am I wiser, more energetically refined? Healthier?

More whole?

I think not. At least not yet!

At best I am at the peak of being a work in progress; my Ethics Complaint resolution a process in expanding motion.

From where I sit and imagine things forward, it may take months, more likely years, to resolve the many complexities of this situation.

Then, where will I be?

Where are we, now, with my Ethics Complaint resolving process, now in gear, forward motion accelerating?

I have submitted a substantial amount of detail about the personal and professional violations imposed upon me. My submission has been received, all in good order, and properly reviewed.

Now, personal contact has been established between myself and an Ethics Committee representative I believe I can trust.

Together she and I covered some very important ground at our Monday meeting.

Now what?  What next?

From my meeting with my Ethics Committee representative, options to approach the mess created by my abuser -- and -- find remedies for the damage, emerged.

The fact that my abuser is now deceased alters how we think, together, how to best proceed.

His death makes a vast difference, for sure!

There has been so much damage done to me, especially professionally. How can that be accounted for and remedied; so many issues to consider, so many facets and levels to the damage done?

My mind wearies itself considering them all!

Where will be the end of it all, especially that we are, now, only just beginning?

Aha! My writing and musing bring me release from my distress; cloudy skies!  

I must remember that writing is a path to healing and transformation for me; lead into gold, almost reliably!

Here’s what I think to do next ---

Today I think I'll put my body, mind and spirit into feeling the good earth beneath my feet, pay particular attention to the fragrance of the rain-washed plants and flowers growing in my garden, sit and watch the clouds overhead and rejoice in the sun when she peeks out her head.

Amaterasu they call her in Japan! 

The sun goddess who tried to hide herself away but returned anyway, with some strong urging, so the story goes.

Perhaps I will consider the Amaterasu in me that oftentimes has hidden myself away behind clouds. And feel my still weary self, peek herself out from her hidey hole.

As I write these words, I feel joy seep into my consciousness and my skin. And gratitude for whatever has led me here, to this moment.

Maybe my next steps will include great appreciation for the opportunity I now have, out of my pain and challenges, to serve others in ways, not formerly envisioned. through this effort of attempting to heal my personal distress.

And, maybe I can grow full enough and loving enough in my heart and soul to have great gratitude for my Ethics Complaint demands process that has brought me to this place where now I sit.

And the beautiful, kind and generous Ethics Committee representative who has met me at some metaphorical bus stop, intending to travel with me on this journey, upon which I am now embarking.

I think these latter ideas are those that might serve me well, today.

The rain has stopped, for now. 

Amaterasu is beaming from her high place in the sky!

Time for me to go outdoors and feel Light and G-d all around me to heighten my rejoicing.

Just for today!

Ethics Complaint Update: Yesterday I Had My First Meeting With The Representative Assigned To Directly Address My Complaint

The experience was superb! Even my best imaginings were surpassed.  

I would wish what I experienced for anyone filing an ethics complaint for sexual harassment and/or abuse and power abuse.

Of course, I’m upset about the personal and professional violations I endured, beyond words and measure. And by all that has been unleashed for me since that fateful day on which I discovered the documents that led to my Ethics Complaint filing. 

I have no idea where this all will take me now. 

However, my healing and liberation are primary! 

Ethics Complaint Filing Prompts
(Anastasia)
Partial Leave-Taking

Along with this, I know that my long-term, personal position about my abuser is: 

“I am not o.k. with what you did but…

I am pledged to – 

• Not linger in the darkness you brought into my life; 

• Forgive you, the actor, while I remain certain that your behavior was totally NOT O.K;

• Not forget the damage you did to my life and my career;

• Yet, when I reach my completion place for this sordid situation, I’m going to try to find a way through this that does not entirely trash you and the good you have also done, as I am aware that you did contribute much that was worthy.

I don’t want to be another Rose McGowan. Something wrenches inside of me whenever I hear or read of her. I understand her pain. I understand her need to speak out, as I do that of Aly Raisman and the many other victims of Larry Nassar; almost the worst of the abuse scenarios, for its sheer magnitude and collusions, if nothing else.

I understand victims. I have been one of them. I also understand and have experienced what it is like to be ignored, even victimized, severely, for attempting to stand up for yourself. So things get complicated in situations like this.

But holding on to a victim position mentality is not the pathway to healing and health I seek, even holding on, too long, to justifiable anger.  

This is what I mean when I say "fierceness is not enough!  I do nor yet know where the balance point is but I am certain I will want to find out.

Being in my Dark Side to fight darkness is not sufficient in my value system. 

"Darkness does not drive away darkness; only Light can do that." Martin Luther King, Jr. 

For myself, I am here to find the Light that will come with the healing, reconciliation, health and liberation, I am seeking!

I do not yet see how this destination will be reached. But I do know that darkness on my part, with revenge being one of its vehicles, is not what I seek.

Yet, I do seek justice to be done, on my behalf.

I am strong, I am wise. I know how to make healthy, success-based decisions. 

I am supported and cared for in my endeavors.

I am not alone in resolving this matter and I will come out, somehow, bettered for facing it and finding my path to healing.

Right now, strongly reinforced by my initial exchanges of the ITAA Ethics Committee Representative who is charged with assisting me through my personal issue process, I am putting my trust in the --

ITAA CODE OF ETHICAL CONDUCT that states as follows –

ITAA is dedicated to promoting the highest caliber of conduct among members providing contractual services across the four fields of transactional analysis specialization: counseling, psychotherapy, organizational, and educational training and consulting services.  

As an organization, the ITAA recognizes its social responsibility to set the ethical standards for all members in order to advance the welfare of society through common values and moral principles of mutual respect and ethical actions.  

Accordingly, the overall aim of this Code of Ethical Conductis intended to provide individual members of the ITAA with common moral principles, values, and a decision-making framework for identification and analysis of ethical dilemmas. 

I first invested in these ideals, many decades ago. 

Today, my faith is renewed and I am pledged to follow the dictates of the established procedures to which I have now submitted myself. In doing this I am not able to share any further details, on the matter, other than my personal experience of the process. 

This much I will continue to provide.

However, I now do trust that what I am seeking for myself out of the process, upon which I have now just begun; healing, reconciliation, health and liberation, is what the Ethics Committee will help me realize and my Ethics Committee Representative will help me steward!

What a relief!

I know somewhere and somehow in the future, I want good to come of this ordeal of mine – and others.  In this particular instance, for me, and, hopefully, ITAA.

What a model for other #MeToo survivors, personal relationships, groups and organizational situations, we just might be able to create out of this ordeal of mine!

Wouldn’t that be “loverly”?

Let us hope for the best while still being prepared for the worst, should it arise!

Update On "Before I Knew"

The statistics of reader preferences on this blog site alerted me that the article I wrote, titled "Before I Knew," has been a preferred article. Thus I was drawn to check it out, review it and consider updating it.

Once started with that process, I saw that there were many avenues of discussion presented in the original that, given the events that occurred, once I found my own sexual harassment and power-over abuse situation, truly need expansion and clarification, given the enhanced perspectives my own process has begun to illuminate.

And, only just begun to spotlight!

I am at the base of another mountain to climb, while, at the same time, I am at the peak of a separate, but connected one, as if my inner world, joined with the outer world, earth plane and beyond, is a whole chain of mountains to climb.

I have begun that process this morning but more will be added as my contemplation on the subject presented on that original post , "Before I Knew," evolves.

Check back for updates.

Ethics Complaint Update: Healing And Reconciliation Process In Beautiful Motion

Based on a copy of a text to Valerie, my TA colleague and friend of forty-five years. Modified to enhance blog reader’s clarity

Valerie,

OMG!  The process has now, officially, begun with the ITAA Ethics Committee rep who is to be my main support and guide through the process ahead, assisting me in resolving my Ethics Complaint. 

After only one week, already, I can see that this process is going to be soooo BIG, life changing as I thought it would be! 

Possibly one of the biggest things ever, in my life!

Last week things were accelerating so much and so rapidly, I was having trouble eating and sleeping – and – even functioning normally. 

I guess BIG things can’t really happen in a person’s life, being fully present to them, without ordinary, day-to-day life getting a bit off balance, at least for a while.

Today, after doing all kinds of things to calm myself down, I feel as if I were giving myself a pause to stand on the mountain peak I can reach from climbing up the back of our property, here, and trekking, for hours, across the ridge up top, to reach it.

The view is, in a way, technically speaking, part of my backyard.

From there, like in the picture, here, to the side, you can see for miles around and close up view the majestic confluence of the Potomac and Shenandoah Rivers, as they meet in Harpers Ferry. Not even the flood disaster from which we are just recovering can spoil the marvel of it all.

I have been expecting this journey I am presently now beginning, praying each day for its start, since I submitted my Ethics Complaint. Backed up by all that is happening in our country and around the world, let loose by the Harvey Weinstein/Hollywood scandals and carried forth by the #MeToo movement, it is hard to wrap one’s mind around just how HUGE and transforming a experience it is in my life!

But what is happening here is not only for my life, but touching on the lives of hundreds of thousands, maybe millions of other women throughout the world. 

The vastness is almost unimaginable!

If one could view what’s happening from a cloud or in outer space, as the astronauts have done, you could almost see, feel and realize the Oneness of which we are all a part.

Already, in the doing, only just begun, what is happening, for me, is so much deeper than I imagined; so much higher and wider and deeper. 

And we've only just started!

So far the ITAA Ethics Committee rep assigned to me, who lives in the UK, and I have just interacted, by email, a handful of times to introduce ourselves to one another. In the weeks and months ahead (most likely a long term, ongoing conversation is now beginning to be established), she and I will interact a lot, using the WhatsApp app as she is there and I am here in the U.S..

Events of last week, one of the main ones being the contact established, put me into such an emotional and physical upheaval that I ended up stunned by the happenings. So much so that I spent five out of seven days unable to do hardly anything other than just sit and watch the trees and sky and earth.  

Not a bad way to help one heal, but even in the beauty I live in, a lot of the time I felt awful.

I am quite blessed to live on this sacred land where I am, but sometimes “awful” is just that, no matter where one is.

Yesterday was the pinnacle, waking up, not only being emotionally drained, but throwing up with an upset stomach for hours. Stress can do that to you, of course.

The stress of getting the things you have only dreamed of, yet truly believed you should have, can be disturbing, as you know.

More later.

Hold me, please, in your heart with love, as I know you do anyway.

Love Anastasia

Ethics Complaint Update: What Happens Next Is Likely To Be Sooooo BIG!!

Whoa Nellie!!! 

What happens next here with Anastasia’s Ethics Complaint adventure?

Will it be another adventure of a lifetime, sorting out the Dark from the Light and righting whatever had gone amiss for me that led to my needing to file an Ethics Complaint, to start?

I think so and I would hope so!

And indeed it looks as if that is the way we are headed; into a process of “ongoing conversation to achieve some clarity” about my situation, to be facilitated, it appears, by a representative of the ITAA Ethics Committee. 

The charge, as I understand it, of that representative, will be to “listen and to start to work together” with me to find options for truth, reconciliation and healing on my behalf.

Who could ask for more?

This is what I would wish for every woman facing a situation like mine!

Here we have the next steps of a process that is likely to be lengthy and involved. Processes, actually, that will transcend and transform the darkness of certain events.

I would probably be kicking up my heels with joy if decades of emotional debris, broken professional networks and personal relationships, colleguael respect and awards, credential and financial losses, had not made this a most complicated issue to resolve. 

That aside from all kinds of other related and tangential stuff I will be needing to sort out about my life in general, as it has been these many years since the offenses of my sexual harasser, power abuser took place (1985 – 1992).

Add to that – where is my professional life to go now? 

And how will the changes ahead affect my personal life, as the wrongs of the past are to now be righted?

All to the good is what I surmise lies ahead. 

But the bounty won’t be a simple excavation to access or easily attained.

In the past few days, since I received my Ethics Complaint response communication, I have, understandably, been reviewing many aspects of my situation, as it stands now, also contemplating, from my sole vantage place, what happens next.

It is altogether too big a bite to chew on and swallow whole!

Too big a landscape to view for what is now to happen in my life in future days. 

Too big of a picture to wrap my mind around, quickly or easily.

I am reminded here of how hard it has been to wrap my mind around the tangle of my father’s relationship, for a time, with George Barris, most famous, I imagine, of all of Hollywood’s custom car designers!  

To the child’s mind, residing in me still, it is difficult  to this day!

I was only eleven or twelve when my father hooked up with George, in some kind of custom car business arrangement. The product the two created became a full-scale custom car enterprise called Custom Corner. The business, taking up most of a city block, sat on the corner of Vine Street and Willougby in Hollywood, throughout the 1950s into the early ‘60s, not too far from the famous corner of Hollywood and Vine, diagonally across from Desilu Productions which was, at the time, on Willougby.

It was an impressive endeavor that brought my father to reclaim some degree of personal confidence, following my infant sister’s death, my mother’s mental breakdown, her subsequent acting out and the divorce from my father she then instituted, back in Ohio. My father and I, being away from her in California, part of the year, as we were to be then, also gave us enough of a distance from her to begin to regain some semblance of normality that only being significantly distant from her could accomplish. 

She had, by this time, become frequently violent, with one manner of chaos or other of upset, the norm.

My very small town father had spent most of his growing up days in the village of Loudonville, Ohio. As a parcel of nearby Ashland and Holmes counties in Ohio, this tiny community, set on fewer than three miles, even today, has less than 3,000 people. If memory serves me, in my father’s youth, it had around 500 inhabitants. 

From Loundonville my father and his family moved to Canton, Ohio, for a time, where extended family members lived. From there my father went into the family business, with his father, in smallish town, Elyria, Ohio. The business was a auto wrecking and junkyard business, a very lucrative endeavor at the time, being that it was now World War II and supplying metals to the federal government had lined his pockets and that of my grandfather, grandly. 

Well-situated as a young and up and coming businessman, my father had married my mother, involved himself in the local Jewish community and civic affairs, had me -- and – went on to live a typical small town life. 

Transporting himself to California after our family upheaval, my father was impacted greatly by Hollywood -- and -- not in completely positive ways that I can recall. 

Actually, for my father, Hollywood was a bit of a mixed bag, I think, which brings me back to George and the lasting influence he has had on me.  

Some of it has been good, even priceless,  as I can attribute my boundless creativity, often turned into business enterprises, to what I saw in the working together of George and my father.

Who else, but George could have shown me how to be totally free of thinking inside the limits of imaginable boundaries, almost always able, instead, to see that the sky is the limit? 

And George and my father working together to create magnificient, state of the art custom cars such as one they collaborated on for Liberace?

Somehow, however, whenever I realize I am having trouble and not able to wrap my mind around situations in my life with clarity: finding the balance between big and small, close up and faraway, personal and public, I am taken back to George in my life -- George who was to become almost BIGGER than life throughout the world, sitting right in front of my face, disrupting my special relationship time with my father. 

The clearest example of this dissonance I can recall has to do with George following my father and I out of Grauman’s Chinese Theatre in downtown Hollywood, close to midnight on a New Year’s Eve, when I was having a “date” with my father -- and -- imposing himself on our evening.

Over the years, that evening would return to my mind – and my heart, repeatedly, coming back to remind me that George had stolen my time with my father that night. And, always resentment accompanies the scene, exacerbated in my jealous child's mind that he was driving a rather broken down jalopy!

The nerve of him!

Who was this man that could steal my father from me? 

Especially driving himself around in that beat up vehicle, up against the adoring, adolescent glow my vision of my father carried for me, along with his huge, shiny Cadillac?

And then go on to become so BIG himself! 

The proportion baffles me to this day!

Proportion, it is, I guess, that bewilders me now – and -- far from the first time in my life

For example –

• I am presently surrounded by flood damage so severe that access from my house to the main road is blocked and might remain so for as long as a year we are told;

• I live up in the mountains on ten acres of land where I, especially as a writer, bask in my solitude and the gentler sounds of nature;

• I have spent very few days in recent decades beyond the boundaries of the U.S.A. with myself rarely leaving this land where I live, in close to twenty years. Since I lost my eyesight in 1998, I seldom go further than nearby towns, with only an occasional trip, now and then, to D.C. or Baltimore.

• By contrast, the ITAA Ethics Committee seems, from all I have gathered, so far, to be convening in South Africa, of all places!!

• My Ethics Complaint is against an internationally prominent member of this dominantly psychology-oriented association while I am a mountain woman, at this stage of my life, as well as, by birth, a small town girl.

• Many years ago, I made a purposeful choice to leave the fast paced, achievement,  power and status-driven track life behind. No Hollywood life, no D.C. life, for me! Instead I have gone farther and farther into the nearby mountains of West Virginia, close enough to get to those urban areas, if I choose. But faraway enough to keep them at a sound distance from me, along with their various toxicities and pollutants.

Today, it is striking me, however, as I now embark on this next important life journey of mine, that I just may need to come in closer, again, to that life pace and lifestyle in order complete the healing I must do from the episodes related to my Ethics Complaint. 

I am considering this, today, as I do all kinds of wondering about my life, my relationships with others, privately, organizationally, locally, regionally, nationally and internationally, all the way to South Africa!

For a bottom line from today’s musings, I can’t help but being drawn to an article I read yesterday on the internet titled “Want To End Sexual Harassment? Landmark Study Finds Ousting ‘Bad Men’ Isn’t Enough.”

I was particularly struck by the closing comment of that piece – 

“To transform a culture from being one of disrespect and derision to be a culture of respect, everyone needs to know where the problems are and what the flaws are so that everybody can be working on it … said Lilia Cortina, a professor of psychology and women’s studies at the University of Michigan and one of 21 experts who authored the report.” 

I have kept myself as separated as I could from society, politics and organizational dysfunction for decades. It is relatively easy to accomplish this distancing up in the mountains, even with internet access.

Could it be that, now, I will be, sooner or later, called to come out of my hidey hole to serve in the aid of the healing in areas I chose, deliberately, to leave behind, at least to achieve my own healing?

Makes sense, doesn't it, when transforming the Dark Side in individuals, relationships, groups and organizations is my expertise?

Of course, more to come.