Based on a copy of a text to Valerie, my TA colleague and friend of forty-five years. Modified to enhance blog reader’s clarity
Valerie,
OMG! The process has now, officially, begun with the ITAA Ethics Committee rep who is to be my main support and guide through the process ahead, assisting me in resolving my Ethics Complaint.
After only one week, already, I can see that this process is going to be soooo BIG, life changing as I thought it would be!
Possibly one of the biggest things ever, in my life!
Last week things were accelerating so much and so rapidly, I was having trouble eating and sleeping – and – even functioning normally.
I guess BIG things can’t really happen in a person’s life, being fully present to them, without ordinary, day-to-day life getting a bit off balance, at least for a while.
Today, after doing all kinds of things to calm myself down, I feel as if I were giving myself a pause to stand on the mountain peak I can reach from climbing up the back of our property, here, and trekking, for hours, across the ridge up top, to reach it.
The view is, in a way, technically speaking, part of my backyard.
From there, like in the picture, here, to the side, you can see for miles around and close up view the majestic confluence of the Potomac and Shenandoah Rivers, as they meet in Harpers Ferry. Not even the flood disaster from which we are just recovering can spoil the marvel of it all.
I have been expecting this journey I am presently now beginning, praying each day for its start, since I submitted my Ethics Complaint. Backed up by all that is happening in our country and around the world, let loose by the Harvey Weinstein/Hollywood scandals and carried forth by the #MeToo movement, it is hard to wrap one’s mind around just how HUGE and transforming a experience it is in my life!
But what is happening here is not only for my life, but touching on the lives of hundreds of thousands, maybe millions of other women throughout the world.
The vastness is almost unimaginable!
If one could view what’s happening from a cloud or in outer space, as the astronauts have done, you could almost see, feel and realize the Oneness of which we are all a part.
Already, in the doing, only just begun, what is happening, for me, is so much deeper than I imagined; so much higher and wider and deeper.
And we've only just started!
So far the ITAA Ethics Committee rep assigned to me, who lives in the UK, and I have just interacted, by email, a handful of times to introduce ourselves to one another. In the weeks and months ahead (most likely a long term, ongoing conversation is now beginning to be established), she and I will interact a lot, using the WhatsApp app as she is there and I am here in the U.S..
Events of last week, one of the main ones being the contact established, put me into such an emotional and physical upheaval that I ended up stunned by the happenings. So much so that I spent five out of seven days unable to do hardly anything other than just sit and watch the trees and sky and earth.
Not a bad way to help one heal, but even in the beauty I live in, a lot of the time I felt awful.
I am quite blessed to live on this sacred land where I am, but sometimes “awful” is just that, no matter where one is.
Yesterday was the pinnacle, waking up, not only being emotionally drained, but throwing up with an upset stomach for hours. Stress can do that to you, of course.
The stress of getting the things you have only dreamed of, yet truly believed you should have, can be disturbing, as you know.
More later.
Hold me, please, in your heart with love, as I know you do anyway.
Love Anastasia
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