Ethics Complaint Update: Documentation Completed Yesterday

BRAVO!!!

Yesterday I completed preparation of the documentation for my Ethics Complaint.

I still need to review what I have written with my support circle, do editing, review again, after I get feedback on what I've written and compiled, make copies and write a cover letter. 

Then ready to go!

I should be ready with my completed package and will likely submit the official documentation sometime in early May.

In the meantime – now that the centerpiece of the complaint, my timeline of twenty plus pages, is completed,  I am beginning to move more and more out of the intellectual stuff the Ethics Committee expected and explore my emotions and related perspectives, as they are laid out in the timeline. 

This portion of my formal complaint details the situation in its entirety, from start to finish as I lived it, along with my supporting archival papers about what I am dealing with here.

Guess what is coming up next, now that I have reached this point?

Anger and grief at how I was used as a pawn for one man’s ego gratifications, at my expense.

More heavy lifting!

Please send prayers and good wishes.

One thing I am wishing for, now, is that some of the important men in my life would take the time to read my documentation, talk to me about what I’ve written and support me through this that lies ahead for me.

I don’t know if I will get this. I’ve asked a few of the men I trust to genuinely care about me. 

But I don’t know if they have it in them to come forth. Men, as we women expected and now have substantiated aren’t readily up for talking about #Metoo stuff. 

The Beyond Gender Tyranny study of male #Metoo attitudes that New Horizons is now embarking upon is certainly showing us that!

I’ll let you know how it goes this week, for me, personally.

In the meantime, try joining me for my next upcoming radio show on --

Anastasia The Storyteller Radio. 

This coming Saturday, April 21 at 11:30 a.m.

My topic will be –

“Women Managing Their Anger and Pain 

In The Face Of Male Resistance”

I may be ready by then to get a bit more personal than sometimes and share some of what I am experiencing, as I now move forward into the official filing of my complaint.

Fun, eh?

Ethics Complaint Update: Finding Personal Freedom By “Seeing” What I See And Saying What I See

I am now into the fourth month of dealing with my Ethics Complaint and pleased to say that the documentation I need to provide in order for the process to move forward is almost complete!

I expect to finish the timeline that lays out the circumstances of the complaint sometime around the end of the month, with the supporting documentation and a cover letter I will enclose, all in good order, by May 15.

Then off the package goes; a testament to the fact that in the area of my life, related to this complaint, I have freed myself to speak of the darkness I saw and do it without fear or lack of confidence. (See "the losers paradigm" here.)

Bravo! True liberation lies here! 

In the meantime, the growing clarity I have about many things heightens each day. 

Even when I get overloaded and in need of fortification from my trusting inner circle of Sistahs, as I do routinely!  

Indeed an ethics complaint is not an ordeal to pursue solely on one’s own.

To what end that package will take me is anybody’s guess. 

However, for my part, I am doing all I can to encourage the outcome I have in mind; truth, reconciliation and healing! 

Having found my way around the inhumane demands of the Ethics Committee, as I have perceived it, to my satisfaction I am looking forward to what will happen next.

So, no matter what the Ethics Committee does on its end, I believe I am prepared for a fine outcome for me, based, not on them, but on how I am managing the situation and handling myself, internally and outwardly.

It all ought to be quite interesting. Of course I will keep my readers updated, as best I can.

Did I mention that no more than a week after finding the hidden documents, unearthing evidence of sexual intrusion by one of my TA trainers into what should have been a space protected by our teacher-student relationship, I had another major eye crisis?

Perhaps I did speak of it here on my blog site, but not in much detail. I am still rather new at speaking out about my private life in depth. So perhaps I did go light on some of what I discovered. Nor did I reveal much about my eye crisis.

Who could experience such as these and then, in an instant, know how to articulate what has occurred, with anything more than cursory acknowledgement? 

Both of these episodes; finding the long buried information regarding sexual harassment by a once-trusted mentor and then going blind, almost immediately after the discovery, are far too dramatic and traumatic to experience, integrate and heal from one in a fell swoop.

In any event the short version is that the episode left me blind, again, in my right eye. 

This time apparently permanently!

You know this is no small thing, right?  The ethics issue alone would not have been small.

Nonetheless, taking giant steps as I am these days, I think I am getting ready to speak of what I know about the connection, for me, of blindness episodes and trauma, but not just yet, not today. 

When I do share this side of what’s been going on in the last little while, for me, I am hoping you will take inspiration from my tale to help empower you to move through challenging obstacles, no matter how difficult, if you are presently facing any.  A person's sharing, with the hopes of surmounting one’s travails, by helping others is such a reward for the difficulties. We know, at such times, we are all in this life together, at least, those of us aiming for our highest human values.

Meanwhile back to my Ethics Complaint…

Putting the downside of recent revelations to the side, the good news is that I am, now, daily, seeing many things about myself, others and the world around me with expanded clarity; an enhanced view of things that is making my life more beautiful, like the blossoming weeping cherry tree outside my office window, as I write this now.

Also I am speaking up and out more and more about what I see and think about certain things that I, apparently, had been holding back. I am also involving myself in new activities that will, hopefully, allow me even greater expression in the coming days, weeks, months and even years.

This is so good! This is me finding new freedom, inside of me and all around!

Already events are beginning to occur that show me that this unfolding in my life has bright potentials. Sometimes I want all the potentialities to activate themselves right away, as I think I have been holding myself back from opportunities and I don’t want to do that anymore. But I was not yet ready for them.

Now I am; sometimes almost chomping at the bit to get into the next one!

This is the personal freedom I am finding by “seeing” what I see and saying what I see!

Keep sending your best wishes to me. I truly thrive on them.

With many thanks.

Anastasia 

Liberation: Ethics Complaint Update

Somewhere, somehow, almost without my noticing, struggling progressed into liberation.

Somewhere, somehow I began to find what I considered to be legitimate ways around the seemingly inhumane demands of the Ethics Committee; to find pathways that suited not only demands that “felt” solely legalistic, without regard for the human, social context of what had happened, regarding my complaint of sexual harassment and the dominance of power abuse and retaliation for my rebuffs to sexual advances.

As I write this, I am not certain my modifications of the Ethics Committees stipulations will be acceptable to them. However, the path I am choosing from here forward, in order to complete the complaint process that is a daunting task for me currently, beyond measure, is going to suit me! 

And those closest to me, loving and supporting me.

Of this I am certain!

This is how I will tell my story, aiming for the highest good.

What the Ethics Committee will do with my submission is not something I will, now, allow to fully define the parameters and content of the story I have to tell; a tale of sexual harassment and power abuse I have kept buried and hidden, even from myself, now, for twenty-five years! 

Most importantly I am beginning to “see” that the effort I am making regarding my Ethics Complaint is merely an outer manifestation of what I am needing to address in myself, in order to carry out the demands of my soul’s destiny; demands crying out to me to remove that which is interfering with my attaining the best of myself; for myself and the service demanded of me as an actively, participating human in this life.

It is this notion that holds the perspective, lying behind my stating, in an earlier blog article, that “fierceness is not enough!” 

There is a quiet place within each and every one of us that cries out for us to align ourselves with a higher order beyond that which we can visibly see.

That place can be experienced, only through love, tranquility and peace with all living things.

Comfort in that place is what I am now seeking as guidance while I continue, at times, to struggle with the details of my “formal” Ethics Complaint.

This aspect, the spiritual, is more often than not, a woman’s way, naturally. Thinking on this I am reminded of a Biblical phrase --

I'll be a light at your feet and a voice behind you. Follow it!

I believe I see this value in Melania Trump, even in Stormy Daniels. 

In Rose McGowan, I’m not so sure.

What is your way of dealing with #Metoo?

I hope you will write and share “your way” with me. 

Contact me at mountainwomanrj@aol.com with your #Metoo stories, male or female.

Have a happy day! 

The snow is melting and it looks more and more like Spring is truly on the way.

Ethics Complaint Update: Struggling

My experience, presently, continues to be that inhumane, inappropriate demands are being placed on me, in my effort to file my ITAA (International Transactional Analysis Association) Ethics Complaint for sexual harassment and power abuse.

It is a dreadful experience! I am no longer being ignored. However, beyond that, I wouldn't wish on a pig, what is being asked of me.

Am I the pig here, or the puller?
What's it all about, anyway?

I am struggling to not be defeated -- and -- to find ways to humanize the process – and -- still comply with the demands as they have been put forth,  

And I think it all a bit tricky!

I am making headway, but still it is --

Heavy lifting!!!

Will continue to keep you updated.

In the meantime, if you are going through something similar, I would love to interview you and possibly have you on my radio show. It's all about the "tell and tremble."

Please contact me:

Anastasia Rosen-Jones
Executive Director
New Horizons Support Network, Inc.
Cell: 240.409.5347
Email: "#Metoo Stories" -- mountainwomanrj@aol.com

Listen And Learn, Tell And Tremble: Two Sides Of A Coin

Hear Anastasia on today’s Anastasia The Storyteller Radio on the topic of “Listen And Learn, Tell And Tremble: Two Sides Of A Coin,” as she guides listeners on the next steps of the Beyond Gender Tyranny adventure -- out of the man-woman traps of #Metoo into a brighter time.

After laying the groundwork for a new #Metoo era series on Anastasia The Storyteller Radio, built on our present need to overcome polarization, especially in gender relations, how do men and women truly get beyond defensiveness and divisiveness to really talk and listen to one another? 

Anastasia explores this topic as it evolves out of her two most recent shows --

• Anastasia Introduces The "new" Specially Designed #Metoo Era Anastasia The Storyteller and 
• Story Listening, By Males, Takes Precedence In The #MeToo Era.

Listen And Learn, Tell And Tremble: Two Sides Of A Coin

On Anastasia The Storyteller Radio

Today – Saturday, March 17, 2018

Tell And Tremble

Article still under construction. Check back for additions, especially of links.

On February 8, I posted a blog titled “Metoo Storytelling To Be Featured At “Beyond Gender Tyranny Forum For Men and Women,” In that piece I used this biblical quote – 

“For whatever is hidden is meant to be disclosed, and whatever is concealed is meant to be brought out into the open.”  (Mark 4:11, 21-22)

I wanted, with these words, to introduce the profound uplifting, healing power of storytelling,  as I know it, provided there are receptive story listeners on the receiving end. And I wanted to emphasize that, not only can storytelling help us overcome polarization, as with the various issues New Horizons has been addressing, over the past dozen or so years at our Coffee House Conversations program, but that we can also bring that kind of process and rewarding outcome into the area, now, of gender dissonance.

We, as women, are a long time coming to this time of opening doors on the part of men being willing to hear women’s “true” voices. 

Still the telling, and the listening, are an arduous uphill climb; a mighty steep one, at that. 

No doubt it will be a long time coming, yet, before the commitment of men to genuinely hear what we are saying, fully, becomes widespread – and – indisputably productive and change-effecting, at the deepest levels.

Few men have this level of commitment that will alter their lives, as well as our own. I write this with much experience to back me up, having known well what it takes of a man to go this distance. I've truly known the "good," the bad and the ugly! I'll take the good, of course!

Over the years, experience with our male counterparts, has led us to silence ourselves, knowing that our words and their import would likely be dismissed or minimized. So prevalent has been  this state of affairs as our regular fare that rather than develop fully in our capacity to communicate the deepest parts of ourselves, instead we modified ourselves to fit the various cultures in which we lived, worked and played.

This silencing, however, was not only in the hands of the men but also in the general culture of our homes, our schools, our churches, synagogues and mosques and our places of work. “Culture” is as much a part of the collusion that keeps us silent as is any one individual, group or type. Even the most solid of us can succumb to these pressures of culture. 

A painful reminder of the power culture has to impact our emotions and our actions, crossed my desk this morning, as I read a statement by Aly Raisman about the conditions at the Karolyi Ranch, reported in the Washington Post.  Headlines quoted Ms. Raisman saying -- 

“Conditions at Karolyi Ranch made athletes vulnerable to Nassar.”

There is no doubt that the conditions of a culture can make even adults vulnerable. While the forces may be typically so powerful that it is known, full well, that retaliation and punishment will be the price for the whistle blower. The lessons of the Holocaust remind us of this again and again. As a Jewish woman, I know I never forget!

Culture, as we know, if we step back far enough to observe it, can be wearing while breaking with culture can sometimes be deadly, in large and small ways.  The one who chooses to step out and suggest that the almighty emperor has no clothes is far from rewarded.

The radio show I did last Saturday with my honorary daughter and New Horizons Board Member, Terry, brought the issue of silence and breaking silence home to me in a way that left me trembling – and – then, later, a new release from hiding some of the most important parts of me! 

Terry and I did a wonderful show, as far as I’m concerned. In the area of storytelling and story listening I think we were almost exemplary, with just the right amount, most of the time, of giving and taking.

Things were so fine that we both allowed ourselves to share, spontaneously, more and more of our deep, innermost thoughts, experiences, beliefs and perspectives. We were going along so well that, at least on my end and I think, also on hers, we both almost forgot we were broadcasting a show that would be recorded and archived for all time, if we allowed it to be other than erased; an option that did exist and that we both thought, briefly, maybe we should elect to do. (In the end, we did not. So you will be able to hear it, using this link.)

What was so troubling that a radio show that seemed quite fine should result in upset, after the fact?

The answer is a complex, long and involved one. 

The short version is that Terry and I, apparently, were so much at ease in our back and forth dialogue (But then, of course, we are two women!) we both, inadvertently, ended up sharing more than felt safe, at the time.

After all coming out of the hiding one has been doing for a lifetime of guarding one’s words does not come together with a person feeling, instantaneously, safe enough yet to give up one’s guard.

This is a HUGE issue! "The Cost of The Quiet" and the risk of speaking out!

On a personal level, I have been publicly discussing the "Cost of the Quiet" for a good number of years now. At last count I found four related radio shows on Anastasia The Storyteller and numerous blog articles.

The radio shows on Anastasia The Storyteller Radio begin on March 29, 2014 and run through July 5, 2014. You can find them still listed on that web site, available now on podcast. They are also listed below --

I also found three blog posts, focusing on the theme of what it can mean for a woman, when she hides some of the most important aspects of herself and her daily life.

There By The Grace of G-d Go I: Dangers of the unknown/undisclosed Self (March 24, 2014)

The Cost of the Quiet (July 9, 2014)

And most recently The Cost Of The Quiet, 2017  (October 10.29.2017)

There is so much that is wonderful that can happen when we invite storytelling and story listening into our lives. And there is such a cost if we do not! 

Then there is the downside, the risk that might not pan out. What to do? What to do?

Listen in to my next Anastasia The Storyteller Radio Show when I will take up this topic further; the “cost of the quiet” and the consequences of giving full voice to who and what one might be. That show, titled "Listen And Learn, Tell AndTremble: Two Sides Of A Coin," will be broadcast this coming Saturday, March 17 at 11:30 a.m. 

I hope you can join me. I will be taking callers at: 646.564.9608. 

Broadcast: Anastasia Introduces New #MeToo Era Radio Shows

On a brief broadcast, filling in for the rescheduled earlier program, originally planned for today, to be aired next Saturday, March 10 at 11:30 a.m.,  New Horizons Executive Director, Anastasia Rosen-Jones, introduced listeners to the “new” #MeToo Era Radio Shows to be broadcast weekly, as time allows, on Anastasia The Storyteller Radio

Read all about the content of what lies ahead for this new era program and its next project, Beyond Gender Tyranny on:

• New Horizons Small “Zones of Peace” Project blog site;
• Anastasia The Storyteller blog site;
• Exploring Your Dark Side: The Adventure of A Lifetime.

And, tune in next week, March 10 at 11:30 a.m. for the broadcast, “Story Listening, By Males, Takes Precedence In The #MeToo Era,” originally scheduled for today.