Why Telling The Truth Is So Hard

(Even the New York Times, in their new ad campaign, “The Truth Is Hard,” is pushing the message that we’ve  got to all get on board with truth.)

Here is a selection of articles from my take on the issue.  Dig into them, again and again. They are filled with nuggets of wisdom on truth telling!

The “real deal” about telling the truth that makes it so hard is that –

1. Most of us learned to, at least, bend the truth as kids growing up to keep the grown-ups off our backs; and then --
   
2. Certain of our experiences even went so far as to teach us the lesson that our survival might depend on not telling the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth;
3. Furthermore most of us have not gotten a fair enough dose of healthy role modeling on the pride and the joy of truth-telling;
4. Finally, for now, ours is not a culture where truth telling is praised and honored. Quite the contrary, frequently there are daunting consequences for truth telling.  

Here is a quote from noted psychiatrist R.D. Laing that I have found to best state some of our learned challenges with truth telling, even knowing how to assess truth. I’ve witnessed the difficulies repeatedly in my close to forty-five years in the mental health field --  and – in my personal life too.

Lecturing on findings of some of his important research on the origins of mental illness, Laing stated –

In most families, children are taught “not to see what they are seeing, or to forget what they have seen, and then to remember to forget what they have seen, because if you don’t remember to forget you will remember. So, you’ve got to remember to forget it, or you’ve got to remember all the time not to see what you are seeing.  And then you’ve got to somehow or other cut yourself off from a recognition that that is what you are doing – so that you no longer are aware, or you can no longer know that you are remembering to forget what you’ve seen. Or you have to act upon yourself in order not to see what you are seeing…. 

All is finally cut off by a final injunction… against seeing that any of that behind what you are allowed to see is going on at all. And by that time, you have rendered yourself, by action of your mind on your mind, almost totally unconscious.

Now, take a moment and think on that!  Pretty complex stuff to wrap your mind around, dontch'a think? But unfortunately more true than not!

Then go further and ask yourself how a person like Donald Trump might have learned to separate himself so fully from seeing and dealing with reality! And what does his election say about his supporters who think his lying is okay? (Not all do, I know. They are not who I am addressing here.)

Now what about you?

If you’ve been reading my blogs you know I have been believing for a long, long time that my eye problems are directly tied to an injunction I experienced as coming from a mentally ill mother to not see what I see! An even greater difficulty seems to have been, however, that somehow I did not have trouble seeing and knowing what I saw. Rather my borderline mother cursed me not to“say” what I “saw” under threat of punishment by death!

Or so I believed, as that is what I was told, often while I was being beaten. 

I’m doing real well now speaking of whatever I see. Writing for this blog site has helped me immeasurable. Additionally, I have, for close forty-five years, been teaching, guiding and supporting others in learning to do the same; telling the truth to power or otherwise, just to know it and say it.

Please get out from whatever obstacles you may be facing about telling truth, knowing truth, facing truth and expecting others to do that same!!

Our country’s well being needs this kind of soldiering from each and every one of us.

Now please join New Horizons and myself in our Truth or Dare campaign, a part of our new Making Violence Obsolete Movement which is under our overall Small "Zones of Peace" Project.

Praise For The Washington Post

Extra! Extra! Read all about it!

The Washington Post has done it again; taken one more  big bold step to ensure the integrity of the United States!  Reminds me of Watergate; please let it be, let it be!

Their new tag line says it all --

“Democracy dies in darkness” 

I was at a dinner meeting last week with a group that prides itself on “civil discourse.” It certainly was that; discourse and civil!

The most heartwarming, inspiring quality was that there were people there of many persuasions; politically and otherwise. 

Surprise, surprise – there was also a good bit of laughter along with the open mindedness to the issues discussed. These went from politics to religion to values such as integrity, concerns about our present polarized society and more.

I loved that gathering so much I wish I could have gone back the next day and the day after that.

Eventually we got around to discussing the media and its role, or lack thereof, in our current chaos under the Trump administration. Or, is it Trump himself?

Who knows? To the latter question, I try to not give much heed, finding it more to my liking in the service of my emotional health and well-being to steer clear of Trump, the man, and his everyday doings.

One of the most impactful comments I took away with me from that gathering was that of one gentleman, on the subject of the media, stressed how very much we citizens need the media! 

As he continued on, making his opinion stand, he pointed out that it is the newspapers who have the resources to speak truth to power with POWER, in terms of money, talent, investigative skills, readership following etc. Most of the latter; readership following, for such as the Washington Post and New York Times, is built on  long-term reader-publication relationships. 

Relationships are the BIG, Power word here! Relationships is a big piece of what we are needing and even having destroyed by Trump and Team!

But the media -- these are the folks to do the leg work as well as the writing, presenting etc. to keep citizens informed, the man pointed out. 

Point well taken!

Our consensus, thus, was that if we were going to be holding any feet to the fire throughout this present nationwide ordeal we are now experiencing in society and politics, it is the newspaper publications we must be pushing for best actions and standards.

We need the media!

Let us not abandon the media, especially when we most need them. 

"United we stand, divided we fall!"

Now, without the promptings of our fine civil discourse gathering group, look what the Washington Post has decided on their own –

“Democracy dies in darkness”

Personally, I thank The Washington Post for helping me survive Watergate and a few other related ordeals; Vice President Spiro Agnew and a guy you may never have heard of, Joel Klein who was corruption bedfellows with Agnew. Joel played an important role in my learning about the Dark Side. I’ll get t0 him later!

For now, I am saying --
“Right on, Washington Post!  Right on, folks who engage in bipartisan civil discourse. Right on, to those who are about “leaning in,” not dividing! 

And doing our damnest to not let the Dark Side run our country!”

The United States Of America – And – It’s Flagrant Disregard For The Truth: The Whole Truth And Nothing But The Truth

Come on folks! Admit it! Donald Trump didn’t get himself elected in a nation of people who totally believe the truth will set you free! 

No sirree! Bunches of people were willing to compromise and allow the importance of truth  fall by the wayside to get this man elected!

(Also see: Exploring Your Dark Side: The Adventure of A Lifetime -- The Dark Side Warrior And The Issue of Truth)

But then again, Hillary didn’t offer much of an alternative either, especially with husband Bill Clinton by her side; a man who stood in the White House Map room and lied to the American people. (Just like Cosby, this Bill, also, takes the cake.)  And we let that action be o.k.?

Is that a way to honor our White House? And our country?

Yeah, I know lots of people thought there wasn’t much of a selection for the presidential election campaign process any way you looked at it.

But how did we get ourselves into such a mess to begin with; with candidates whose flagrant disregard for truth must somehow reflect our own?

Now, I’m not pointing fingers here at our politicians. I am actually asking you to start looking at your own self.

Where does truth telling, let alone truth knowing – the whole truth and nothing but the truth – fit into your life?

How about the issue of speaking truth to power?

Want to take action to make social change?

I am going to be urging you all to make a pledge to begin your effort by taking on a devotion to the honoring of the role of truth telling, no matter what, in your life from here forth; make truth (and its bedfellow reality) standards in your life! 

In fact, making truth and reality standard bearers for our United States of America!

That is one small, yet very BIG way, you can help us all turn our country around; get it back on track, from the mess we are in, telling the truth and hearing the truth; patiently and non-defensively. If you can do that you are just a step or two away from having genuine dialogue with others; the building blocks of bridges to move beyond polarization.

Then you've really got something BIG started in the way of being a part of solutions! 

And, self-adjusting to get closer and closer to reality!!

Let us strive to get ourselves to a place where truth and integrity, along with compassion and caring for all of life, fills the White House. Because truth is a priority -- and -- we choose it!

For one of my contributions, I am going to, shortly, post, in several parts, a piece I wrote on “Telling The Truth” for my first book of my “Random House Trilogy.”  I hope as I get the parts up you will heed my words and start applying them to do, at least, a bit of healthy soul searching on the issue of how you hold telling the truth in your own life.

Don’t disparage our newly elected president on this point, telling the truth, unless you have a lily white slate of your own.

Let’s make America greater! Let’s make America honest!

The truth will set us free!

My Friend, Charlie Brotman, Has Got A New “Gig.”

Hallelujah!!!!

Now I can put away my worry beads and other markers of spiritual woo woo. (Some would call it that. I just call it my ordinary way of making maximum contact with the Cosmic Powers That Be.)’

Charlie is back in the game now; hired by NBC to broadcast the inaugural parade to millions not just a few thousand.

See Rachel Maddow.

"Announcer Fired By Trump Scores New Inauguration Gig"

 I sure did feel distressed about my friend Charlie and Trump and Trump Team’s totally shabby treatment of him!

Much gratitude to all Anastasia and New Horizons Supporters!

P.S. Who gets your vote for the nicer guy?

My Friend Charlie Brotman, Contrary To News Reports, Is Not Suicidal!

After a sleepless night worrying myself to distraction, I had to track down Charlie Brotman’s daughter to find out he is not suicidal!

Thank goodness beyond measure for that!

Could Charlie have just been behaving like his usual flamboyant self, saying he was that devastated and heartbroken that Trump and team said “You’re fired!”?

I don’t know. But he is okay. And, according to his daughter likely to remain so.

Just thought you might want to know if you read ---

Anastasia and Charlie
reading together.
2015

"Inauguration announcer on being cut by Trump: 'I thought I was going to commit suicide'"

Truth be told Charlie's going to come through this disappointment like the lifelong champ that he is!

Still those were pretty strong and mean words for a president-elect to send through his team by email to a "legend in his own time" inaugural parade announcer. 

But then the new guy definitely voted Trump! What else can we say?

And, Trump won't be president forever! 

So look for Charlie to be back in the announcer's box for the inaugural parade when he's out!

After all Charlie did say, at an earlier time (read all about it somewhere) he was pledged to announcing that parade until he's one hundred twenty. 

I am one whose going to hold him to it, at least as long as I can.

Trump And Company Just Trounced One Of My Lifetime Best Friends

Another story from Anastasia's Hot Pants, Motorcycles And K Street mss in progress

Anastasia and
Charlie Brotman
2015

You would have no way of knowing, probably, unless I told you so that the gorgeous, love-able, dearly Beloved man, Charlie Brotman, that Donald Trump and his team have just decided to dis-invite to announce the coming inaugural parade is my Beloved Charlie.
Read this Washington Post article:
"The inaugural parade has had the same voice since Eisenhower. This year it’s changing."

Now I am roaring with rage. But committed to non-violence. So what do you think I should do?

What would you do? Please help me!!!

The only thing I can think of right now is gather together everyone I know and a bunch that I don't to make sure that this horrible, nightmare of an inauguration leaves Charlie feeling as loved and honored as he deserves.

When that day comes, please let us all join together to take that Trump sting away from a wonderful announcer, press agent (He was mine and I was his very first client when he left the Washington Senators baseball team, circa 1969. In fact he gave the U.S. "Male" Service, my first business, its name)!

I am so mad!!!!!!

I could tell you bunches of stories about Charlie and me. And maybe sometime I will.

But in the meantime, please help me take away Trump's heartbreaking sting to my Charlie!

One of Charlie's creations
(The brochure design, silly!
Not me!)

On The Second Day Of The New Year, 2017

So here we are in 2017, at last!  

With the calendar days of 2016 past! And, with current events primed to linger on for a long, long time, especially those having to do with our presidential election for who knows how long.

May the force be with us!  We are sure going to need it to navigate life as it now looms.

As I have been suggesting in recent blog articles, the way I see it a paradigm shift is what’s going to do me best.

How about you? 

Have you figured out yet what is your best way to chart a course for the year ahead?

I asked this question of several of my friends last evening at dinner as we celebrated the new year. That was before our table discussion sunk into two of them, a married couple, getting into combat about money! Their long term grudges toward one another, defining the tone. Not much fun for us onlookers, right?

That episode and the general trend of making resolutions at the new year, as to how one might clean up one’s act, got me to contemplating, as I drifted off to sleep last night, of some personal work I need to do on my own spouse relationship.

It wasn’t all together pleasing for me to see where I, too, have some long held, old and stale forgiveness work to do myself. The mere thought of that might have been daunting. However, upon further investigation, particularly drawing upon the teachings of Steven Levine and his wife, Ondrea, the former having recently passed away last year, I quickly came to realize that walking a path of healing and forgiveness is a central tenet of how I know I must live my life. My most important values; tikkun olam, Hebrew for healing the world, and tikkun adzmi, healing oneself, demand that of me.

So I made a pledge to do more in that area this coming year, insofar as my relationship with my Beloved goes. I am a bit challenged by this plan for my personal life, but not nearly as much as I am about applying this practice to Donald Trump, as president.

Had he lost the election, I know I would have found the application of this exercise much easier.

With Trump in the White House, I just don’t know!

How does one apply reconciliation processes where there is no truth?  I believe truth and reconciliation are partners.

I just don’t know how best to proceed, in this instance, other than being mindful that lovingkindness is a path I believe in though somehow it seems rather out of order here in this new U.S. reality at this time.

However, I am  taking from the words of Viktor Frankl (paraphrased) –

When we have lost all other freedoms, each of us still has the freedom to decide how to think about things. Vktor Frankl, Man's Search For Meaning

So, I conclude, at least for today, that I must continue to ponder this big existential question; forgiving Donald Trump and his "team," while I enjoy the chickadees and large family of cardinals feeding at my bird feeder outside my office window today. And the various other simple pleasures of my life, like the warmth I am now feeling from a hearty fire in my wood burning stove and the nutritious lunch of holiday leftovers I am about to have.

And, while I also wish you a very Happy New Year, 2017!