The Basement Stairs Revisited

To soothe today's wounded warriors, I share "The Basement Stairs," a personal story.

I had such a strange feeling this morning as I began to wake up. Having voted for Hillary which was mainly about voting against Trump, I believed I was supposed to be upset, even terrified as I have found myself actually despising this man. Even though I also hold that “hate” does not have an acceptable place in my life; actually seeing it as the most extreme expression of my Dark Side, this is what I have felt and cannot yet imagine feeling otherwise.

(Update: Friday, November 11 (Veteran's Day, to boot -- the day I conceived my daughter, many years ago), I don't "hate" Donald Trump anymore and am still relieved to not have the Clintons moving back into the White House.

Today I am thinking of how much I detest the Washington D.C. power game and the endless collusions and conspiracies they give rise to. I wish we could look forward to a hoped for whitewash of it all; the lobbyists, politicians and many others who feed off of them. But this man, Trump, while I am letting go of my "hate," my concerns remain. I am concerned too about how the media may have played all of us (and we enabled them) -- and -- more than anything else contemplating a need to embrace compassion for the "white privelege" I have enjoyed, possibly at the expense of those, also white, who may have been more disadvantaged.)

Still I could not ignore that I also felt relief at Hillary losing the election while I, also, knew myself to be far from happy that Trump has won. I do not yet understand why I am feeling these various thimgs. So I contemplated and pondered this as is my wont to do each morning, blessed as I am to be my own boss; Executive Director does carry some privilege with it.

I am a far way away from understanding this reaction in me. Thus I am really looking forward to New Horizons’ forthcoming “Overcoming The Polarization of Politics” Coffee House Conversation. I see that as a potential way to sort myself out in a communal setting where I am trusting I will listen and learn from others also trying to sort themselves out too.

However, that event is ten days off and I must still live with myself between now and then. So I must gain some degree of settled within myself in order to maximize each day that I go on living my life between now and then; community conversation is not always enough!

I haven’t yet found my balance point. However, this seems as if this might be a stretch as it is only a bit after noon. And Donald Trump’s startling election upset will certainly need to grow on all of us who absolutely abhor the idea of this man as our presidential leader (As I write this I feel my stomach tense with the very notion of what might lie ahead for those such as myself who are today feeling similarly.)

Nonetheless, what keeps repeating in my mind this morning that seems as if it explains some of my reaction to this staggering upheaval is a story I wrote back in August, 2012 titled –

The Basement Stairs

I reprint it here that it may sooth some of your distress today, if you voted for Hillary, or against Donald Trump. I hope you may find solace in my childhood expressions that seem so much beyond politics.  And if you are troubled today, or if you simply just want to be a heart of the healing, maybe you will come and join New Horizons and myself next week on November 19.

As for me, the Super Sleuth part of me is now setting herself to investigating the inner workings of my mind and my heart, hoping to better understand my neighbors who will have now put Donald Trump in the White House and why I am not any more upset about the election outcome than I am.

Anastasia’s Story

I am five years old, sitting on the basement steps, wondering. My mommy and daddy are right before me arguing while I sit there—on the basement stairs, second or third from the bottom. I don’t recall ever having seen arguing before, upset, conflict, division, chaos, upheaval.

Mine is a world of order, unity, practical day-to-day doings, comings and goings; family, community, participation in life, mostly lively and happy. A few tears now and then, nothing very big as I think back on it now.

But now in this moment, something different, bringing confusion to my child mind, just as I am entering an age and stage where I am beginning to wonder, am called to consider, as I sit here on the basement stairs, the meaning of things. So I ask myself, “What am I to do with what I am watching here?”

After all, we had only come down here to the basement to work on mommy’s canning closet. A brief family time of seeing the pears and the peaches on the shelves daddy built. And, of course, the pickles, bread and butter pickles, and always lots of kosher ones with dill.

I watch now – mommy and daddy – upset, arguing, angry. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anger before. Certainly not between mommy and daddy, maybe once or twice at me but I forget. This I will remember.

Who am I that is sitting here watching this upset?

Who are they? Still mommy and daddy?

And, of course, almost biggest for me – what am I supposed to do here?

Later I will know. And what I know will become New Horizons’ Small Zones of Peace” Project and the Possible Human, Possible Society Study.

At least as far as I can figure it out for now.

Shining A Light On New Horizons Council of Elders

I dreamed a dream, visioned a vision, more than twenty years ago; New Horizons would create our very own special, unique version of a “Council of Elders.” Last night at our final Summer In The Mountains community gathering, we finally did it!

With that as a backdrop as well as the main feature, Sue deVeer, my Spirit Sistah collaborator, and I celebrated the ten year anniversary of our adventure of developing New Horizons Small “Zones of Peace” Project. And our “official” Council of Elders was anointed; Anastasia, Sue and Paul.

Read about our "debut" in 

Making Violence Obsolete Debuts Penultimate Conflict Resolution Process

Oh my, oh my. There have been so many blessings and mini miracles to bring us from there to here. Many intriguing stories to tell!

Where was “there” you might be asking?

It was the “Middle East Crisis In “Our” Backyard” that actually brought us from there to here. And, it was that life changing incident for me that also apparently made a dent in Sue’s life too, launching us on a shared journey. We can always trace back to its beginning but we do not notice any end in sight.

The beginning was a Jewish Muslim controversy in our local town, inspiring Sue and I to -- put our minds and hearts, our gifts and talents, hopes and dreams and the distress each of us was feeling about this situation --together initially, at the prompting of people we both knew.

So…. as we brought our Summer In The Mountains community gatherings to an official close last night, out in the woods at our Beloved fire circle, Paul, Sue’s husband, our official videographer of the event, captured the essence of how profound and powerful was this year’s conclusion.  

The grand finale was of Sue and I lighting our “anniversary” cake which says it all in spirit, pictures and Paul’s words –

“From a single candle into a bonfire!"

Paul should know!  He has suffered through it all with us – and – not always silently! Nonetheless, here we all are! 

I (Anastasia) was the single light that started us off. Then “we, like our tiny “struggle” to get our candles lit, struggled to birth something that only our idealistic passions could envision. Now, “we,” like the passion and burning energy of our new “Making Violence Obsolete” movement are the bonfire, shining brighter and brighter, as we take our place in our local community – and – beyond, in giving our best to “thinking global, acting local.” 

Add to that, twenty years later or so, back from my original dream/vision, New Horizons has grown into even having our very own “Council of Elders,” at last, till death do us part. (You kinda know when your fellow journeyers are lifers!)

We are so blessed and so grateful! And we have only just begun.

Indeed, magic is afoot!  More to come…

Reaching For The High Place

For Lucky, Sue and Paul’s cat who passed away Sunday night and is now transitioning to the “high place.” Rest in peace, Lucky.

I woke up this morning feeling as if I had sandbags on my legs, holding me fast to the forces of gravity. It didn’t take long to realize that it was “election campaign malaise” pulling me down. You are probably having a touch of it too these days. Especially Donald Trump’s madness, as he spews it out onto all of us, is like living in bedlam. And, then there is the chaos of Hillary’s emails, once again.  When I add that to the disgust any mention of Anthony Weiner evokes in me, oh dear, oh dear me!

Please just let it all end soon and allow us to “simply” adjust to whatever will come next in American politics and society which will not be simple at all!

Determined to not allow this sickness to rob me of a beautiful day with the sun shining on the trees outside the windows of my room, I reached out in my mind, searching for a way through the darkness of that mayhem to lift me to the Light of the other side; the High Place.

Along the way of my seeking for this Higher Place, I checked in briefly, as I usually do, with my Spirit Sister Sue.

“What do you think of “that of G-d” being as much in Donald Trump as in anyone else,” I inquired of dear Sue?  

(Note: The G-d place in Hillary is relatively steady for me, up to a point, now. But why, oh why can’t a leader of her ilk not just walk the straight and narrow for a change? Particularly when the alternative to her in this race is such a complete disaster? That’s politics for you, I guess. Oh dear, oh dear! Nonetheless, I will vote Democrat as “Stronger Together” speaks to me, even when Hillary doesn’t.)

But back onto the subject of Trump  my mind goes as he is the one I like least; almost abhor to be truthful! 

So I am asking about the “G-d within” Trump. I cannot find any signs of it in the man. I “diagnose” him to be a narcissistic sociopath which is a step higher than simply “narcissist for my opinion. I am certain he is a mentally ill man. But still I don’t like it in me to not be able to see Light in spite of the Dark. And I find myself unable to cut him the slack I might generally be inclined to do, at least for now.

I ask Sue about the G-d part because as a life-long Quaker, I trust she might be more adept at this discernment than I at this moment. It is this holy perspective; everyone carries “that of G-d” within, that is a basic tenet of her faith. So I knew I will welcome her perspectives on this. 

Soon Sue and I are chatting, as we do most mornings, on this topic when I remember my recent reading assignment from my Kebzeh "Big Sister," Joan McIntrye. With Murat, New Horizon’s Beloved Mentor, having passed away (December, 2013), Joan carries on with the guiding of me to apply the teachings of Kebzeh to my daily life and understand how to make the most of these traditions for New Horizon’s various peace action efforts.

The other evening, as I watched the setting sun, I had occasion to share the shimmering beauty of the fading light with a long distance chat with Joan in British Columbia where she lives. And where an "exceptional community" that grew up around Murat still continues on. With Joan, pointing me in a most appropriate direction for my contemplations of this morning, I came upon the following, paraphrased and interpreted from Murat’s Ahmsta Kebzeh: The Universal Science of Awe, Volume I (page 63 -65). It lifted me out of my emotional/spiritual heaviness. 

“The Cosmic energy vested in the Essence of the human being in attributes such as intelligence, love, will, consciousness, mercy, wisdom, knowledge, memory and so on….. reside in humans only as potentialities that each individual can activate on their own behalf. In the process of LIFE… such attributes as these can generate an “unending series of resonances, a jamboree of Universal Dance, I call it.”

From this brief but extraordinarily rich wisdom I am reminded how much I revere the experience of that “jamboree,” kindred spirit of “awe.”. (Heaven forbid, I have misinterpreted this, I can be sure Joan will straighten me out next time we talk.)

From this I concluded that it must be time for me to point my finger back at myself, if I am to find the High Place as it just isn’t there in our politics – or our society these days as solo is better than any bad company might be. And shake myself loose of politics, as much as one can in these days of upheaval. So for today I think I will do my best to stay away from the news on our campaign election madness and take myself outside for my usual vigorous walk on my mountain road.

And let that be that for my High Place today!

The Spiritual Side of “Making Violence Obsolete”

I am watching the web site slides from my “Birth Of A Movement” radio program as I listen to the podcast from yesterday’s show. Today, without the pressures of program planning tasks, time limits and being mindful of what I say on the air in terms of how it will impact listeners, I am simply reflecting -- and -- feeling about the experience of doing that show.

It was a glorious experience! I doubt it could have turned out any other way for me with the support I had.  With my honorary daughter, Terry, as my guest to help “lift” a program that would have been without zest, without her, I came away from the show as greatly uplifted, personally, as I hope my listeners would also be.  

That’s what a daughter can mean to a “Mom,” biological or otherwise, in a circumstance such as that one was for me.

The beauty was born of the co-creative, synergistic energy that only long term, enduring relationships such as ours, having withstood the tests both of time and rough waters navigated, can naturally produce. Out of this, the takeaway for me showed up in a question Terry asked, out of my sharing the part now being played by my prophecy in the creation of New Horizons “Making Violence Obsolete” project.

Listen to the podcast so you can hear the question as it is embedded in our broadcast discussion.

As if the answer was glaringly right in front of my face and yet unseen, today I am still pondering that answer; what is the spirtual side of New Horizons "Making Violence Obsolete" project?

I think that on the air Terry might have been meaning to ask if the prophecy was a spiritual encounter. And, of course, that is simply and completely exactly what it was! So I told her.

But when the show was over and each of us had gone on to our own private spaces and a busy day ahead too, the question stayed with me, leaving me to ponder, almost ceaselessly, about the spiritual side of the entire “Making Violence Obsolete” project. There definitely is one and its significance is fundamental. However to this moment I have found no simple or easy way to explain it, even to myself. So it occurs to me that the answer might need to be an unfolding one; a work in progress as each of us is anyway.

Maybe the spiritual side of the “Making Violence Obsolete” project is interwoven into the entire journey, from "there" to here wherever that may be, it has been for me to “birth” this new baby of mine. Indeed much of New Horizons, as it stands today, is like another child born of my body. Certainly, any way you look at it, all births are of the body, mind and spirit.

(Note: Terry and I did an earlier radio show on the topic of my from "there to here" journey a few years back on my Anastasia The Storyteller Radio Show. You might enjoy listening to it on podcast. The story is still mine though the context is a bit different. At a later date I will find the exact link to that speific show (July, 2013 or 2014) as time allows.) 

Later in the day, yesterday, Terry sent me two gorgeous pictures; one that I am using for this blog and another, equally as beautiful but not quite carrying the import for me of the one. The significance of this picture, to my eyes, is that I see me in the dark haired woman and Terry in the light haired. This is actually how we are in real life; Terry a reddish-haired, strawberry blonde and me a brunette. And, definitely it looks to me as if the dark haired one is more a mom-type while the light haired is more of the younger daughter type. 

I am certain that if you look closely at the image you will readily see what I mean about it.

Attached to the graphic, Terry had written this short text note  -- 

“Pics I had in front of me that helped me feel our heart to heart connection. Love you.”

Those words alone, attached to the images are enough to make my heart to sing. “Dayenu,” as it is said in Hebrew, meaning “it is enough.”

Another reflection is that the whole of Terry and I together on that program brought my mind to connect to the premise of the new project --

"Violence “could” become obsolete, “someday”, if we start, now, doing more and more of the right things and, together, stop doing the “wrong” ones!”

Certainly Terry and I have done a lot of growing, separately and together, to learn and do “more and more of  the right things and, together, stop doing the “wrong” ones,” bringing us to even be able to do a radio show broadcast together, after an almost thirty year, sometimes rocky, love-filled relationship. Our relationship definitely represents a moving beyond the "subtle violence" that impinges on any relationship, now and again.

I trust that with support such as I have from Terry (and Sue and Lisa and many others of like-mind with me) that I am going, someday, soon I hope, to get closer and closer to knowing and sharing the spiritual side of New Horizons "Making Violence Obsolete" project, as it has been for me in the formation. I think that will be important to know, at least for some of you. It is definitely a core element of the whole of the magic of the project

Meanwhile, try to find a minute or two to listen to that podcast and bring yourself, too, into New Horizons “Making Violence Obsolete” adventure; both the practical and the spiritual sides! 

You've got to admit that even imagining “Making Violence Obsolete” has definitely got to have a hefty dose from the far outer ranges of human consciousness into the great beyond. To succeed, even a bit, it’s going to take a world-wide village (i.e. many small “zones of peace”) to help us reach our destination, “Making Violence Obsolete.” Let's all get started immediately if not already done so.

In the words of Anne Frank -- 

"How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world."

Making Violence Obsolete Podcast: Anastasia’s Back Story

Attempting to make up some for the vagueness of my earlier attempts at personal back story telling on the subject of “Making Violence Obsolete,” next I will try to “say” in broadcast form what I haven’t seemed able  to write very well.

Please join me tomorrow for what I hope to be a lively and inspiring program on -- 

The Possible Society In Motion Radio Show

Friday, October 21

11:30 a.m.

Birth Of A Movement: 

Anastasia's Personal Backstory On 

"Making Violence Obsolete"

including Anastasia's Prophecy story!

Making Violence Obsolete And The Voices of Women On The "Speaking Truth To Power" Path

Early 1980s, Women’s Studies Department, 
University of Maryland, College Park

I am sitting in a Women’s Studies class (WMST) on feminist principles for business and organizations. My professor whose name I do not recall is describing what she calls her “feminist hit squad” approach to bringing her new woman’s ideologies into her private consulting work with male clients; males being the “executive” ruling class of the day. 

Her point is well taken, as a manner that we students (all female) might emulate in our own lives to strengthen our endeavors to balance the off-kilter power between men and women. Obviously, after more than thirty years later, I have never forgotten the lesson. 

Gloria Steinem
Circa ????

I admit to employing these “wise woman” ways myself on occasion. Yet all that the “feminist hit squad” instructs me to do is fight off the threats of disrespectful, inappropriate, often abusive male banter and other intrusions at my expense – in my mind, visualizing what I would like to do in retaliation for these assaults to my dignity, my space and my self-esteem; the subtle violence that isn't subtle at all when you are the target! 

Actually speaking “truth to power” (i.e. “male power”) is still a good ways off for the majority of us.“I am woman, hear me roar” has not really taken hold yet. And, often we wonder when? When will our roars truly be heard – and make a meaningful difference?

Seated in my classroom chair behind a conference table as we are that day, I am surprised by my professor’s anecdote; something is jarred lose in me as I watch and listen to her, mimicking herself in a business meeting; smiling prettily, looking well put together, ‘80s women’s business mode; definitely poised with a not-too-hidden aura of Gloria Steinem-style sexiness. Her empowerment is, meanwhile, limited to her conjuring up mental images of throwing daggers at men.

This is her way of modeling for us how she is managing, in this new era of women’s liberation, the slurs and power abuses of her patriarchal clients.

I am startled in some way that only now, in the heat of our present  presidential election upheaval am I examining closely; a scenario fraught, as it is, with meaning unexplored until now. I do know right off, however, almost instinctively, that just like me, as I look back retrospectively, my professor is feeling like a child, acting like a grown-up.

Genuine, full blown mature adult power does not need to take covert measures such as this!

“The feminist hit squad” is a ruse, a deception, a ploy, subterfuge with which we dodge the true reality that we women are still disempowered in all but the most minimal ways. 

“The feminist hit squad’s” ways are passive, secretive and collusive; familiar, typically, to members of a women-only society.  Every woman earns her place in this secret society as her birthright. In various respects we women have been managing the affairs of this society since time immemorial.

Looking back on that day, in the early 1980s, I can see that it was not so very long ago for many of us that we began to even glimpse at empowerment, let alone fully embrace  it; to be who we truly are, including that almighty turning around place of speaking “truth to power” most of us are battling still today.

Enter – Donald Trump on the heels of Bill Cosby. And, yes, Bill Clinton too, no matter how much we have grown accustomed to stepping aside of his dereliction of presidential morality. 
Or, at least, the presidential morality we have fooled ourselves into believing in, in our deluded fashions. 

Could Donald Trump’s outrageous antics and attitudes, perhaps, be bringing us to experience the fall of the Tower of Babel, mythical representation of how our different voices separate us, particularly insofar as the gap of gender of spoken language is concerned? 

Could it be that, possibly at long last, there is, at least, a meaningful crack in Babel’s Tower? And that women can truly speak truth to male dominance and disregard and have it make a difference?

Perhaps Donald Trump’s craziness; blatant and destructive as it is, is going to be the last straw needed to push men and women to be stronger together. And, that men like Bill Cosby and Bill Clinton – and – Donald Trump will be forced to face the full wrath and humiliating consequences from their fans; both men and woman.

It seems today that it could be, as moment by moment news is taking up for us women.

Could it be? 

If so, can I then dare to hope that Hillary will also face up to her disregard of other women, outside her elite circle, and someday, perhaps, do what I need most from her, beyond her political adroitness; apologize to Monica Lewinsky and the other women she has assaulted in her allegiance to Bill?

I will dare to hope for this. After all, anything is possible these days it seems.

Magic is afoot, the goddess is alive! 

The "Goddess," alive and well, is one of the most important ingredients needed for "Making Violence Obsolete" in any strategic formula for peace!

 "Her" strength is held as much in her "VOICE" as it is in her wisdom and good sense! She knows, full-well the not so subtle violence that is the precursor to war!

We are, after all, men and women "warriors" -- stronger together!

No matter who wins the next election, that will not change!

The “Narrow Place" Of My Yom Kippur Day

Wednesday, October 12 – Yom Kippur, The Jewish Day of Atonement

An almost non-observant Jewish woman such as myself must be a trifle creative if she wishes to honor this most holy of days on the Jewish calendar, Yom Kippur, and find serenity in her alternative ways. With this thought in mind – and --  gorgeous as the weather was today, I set off this afternoon for a visit to the historical town of Harpers Ferry, West Virginia, just steps away from my door, to celebrate the day.

With the two conjoining rivers, the Potomac and the Shenandoah, flowing through the mountains of Maryland, Virginia and West Virginia, the mountains of these states embracing the rivers on all sides, the panoramic vista alone makes a wondrous sight on any day, giving rise to the famous words of Thomas Jefferson –

Visit New Horizons now
on Facebook

“The passage of the Patowmac through the Blue Ridge is perhaps one of the most stupendous scenes in Nature. This scene is worth a voyage across the Atlantic.”

Spoken eons ago, these words and the view they describe is no less majestic today than it was in Jefferson’s time. Aware of this marvel not far from my door, I set myself off for a brief, but beautiful trek to celebrate the Jewish New Year, with a ritual few slices of bread in hand; Pepperridge Farm dark puppernickel, no less!

“Slices of bread, you ask. Whatever for?”

The answer of which I was well aware was that it was, after all, the Jewish Day of Atonement.  And though I had freed my conscience to not sit and pray in Shul, nor was I given to fasting this year in an annual show of contrition, I was not off the hook for attempting to save my soul by any means. Raised as I had been in a quasi-Orthodox family, I knew what I was expected to do, in even minimalist fashion. Most of us of the Jewish faith, world-wide, do know that an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.” In other words, be safe not sorry.

So a few slices of bread in hand was my duty, a humble attempt to perform the customary ceremony of “Tashlikh,” the casting into moving waters of pieces of bread, symbolizing the throwing off of one’s sins from the last year passing away. The Jewish New Year being almost entirely about atonement, this small ritual was the least I could do. 

The implications of that action, aptly and equally, surprisingly akin to a bumper sticker message a friend of mine told me of with the words – “Look busy, Jesus is watching.” Just goes to show you, doesn’t it, how closely aligned is one religion’s perspectives with another’s? 

A minimal ceremony, such as this on my part, might not quite be what the Big Guy, if there be such as he, has in mind for the Day of Atonement.  But, at least, I was in there with something to “honor” my heritage and protect my well-being for the coming year.

That same friend, a long-time Harpers Ferry resident I happened to meet up with on my adventure, urged me, most fortuitously, to consider the rightness of how I had chosen to spend this most sacred of days. By her sharing of reflections on our shared locale, she directed my attention, inadvertently, to the Celtic tradition of places such as this that offer an opening into the magnificence and wonder of the presence of the Divine Spirit.  She called them “narrow places.”  And, of course, we both knew that our Beloved Harpers Ferry was among such places.

Later I found the tradition on the internet called “Thin Places,” places where one can touch the edge of heaven.

I offer here the words of Sylvia Maddox from “Where Can I Touch The Edge of Heaven? that heightened my sense of this wonderment.

“There is a Celtic saying that heaven and earth are only three feet apart, but in the thin places that distance is even smaller. A thin place is where the veil that separates heaven and earth is lifted and one is able to receive a glimpse of the glory of God.  

We return from thin places refreshed and renewed. We are graced with a new awareness of the thin places in all of life. Having seen the glimpses of glory in those sacred landscapes, we begin to see glimpses all around us. Soon the birds outside our window sing of the mystery we might have passed over in our busyness.”

And so it was for me! Such was my day with one more beautiful blessing received (I had already had several), traditional or not, that helped me know that I had without a doubt, on my own behalf, chosen the best place for me to be on the holiest of Jewish days, my special Yom Kippur.