The Humpty Dumpty in me had a great fall; I lost my eyesight
and would not regain it for a very long time. It was, indeed, quite a tumble
that took eight long, arduous years until it could be surmounted. A
death-defying struggle ensued in the meantime.
A whole series of tragedies had plagued me since late
childhood. Always I had been able to surmount them with my determination,
creativity and hard work. But physical blindness was something else. It had no options;
no re-routing alternatives. I was stuck and I knew it. The Humpty Dumpty in me
had been broken.
Whether or not I was cracked beyond repair was yet to be
discovered. But early on it became apparent that there would be no King’s men that I could even hope would try to put me back together again. The task
would be mine – and – mine alone to tackle.
The saga of my threatened blindness has been a part of my
personal story since I was a junior in college at Ohio State. Then it had been
a threat, supposedly imminent in the months ahead; a devastating prediction for
a college junior.
The day I finally did lose my eyesight turned out to be many
years later, howver. But I had been expecting it. How could I not, once
diagnosed and confirmed. Thus, at once when it arrived, I knew it for what it
was. What I didn’t know was when, if ever, my blindness could be healed.
As it turned out it took seven eye surgeries and an
inordinate emotional-spiritual battle to fight off the psychological demons my
blindness brought with it. In order for me to survive the ordeal, I would need
to fight these demons along with my physical challenges. Blindness and my
recovery from blindness (1998 – 2006) had lifted the lid on the Pandora’s box
in me.
On this, the fifth anniversary of this blog site’s presence,
I am reflecting on how it is that I have gotten from there; extended blindness
and its repercussions, to here, on the threshold of a dream.
This site was set up as a platform from which I could tell stories,
especially the ones behind what was to become, concurrent with my personal
recovery from blindness, the unfolding story behind the New Horizons' Small “Zones of Peace” Project and how it reflects my journey from
blindness to recovery.
As a first, superficial note I might say that what has
brought me here today was the same formula as of old; determination, creativity
and hard work. But that would only be the “front story” at best, if that. The real deal story, the one behind the
scenes that has been the blood, sweat and tears of the front story, is far more
profound than that. Above and beyond
that, as it applies to me, it is a story, one women’s story – mine, of how the
Force in all its pristine glory can work on our behalf.
(It can also be the Force of our destruction. And I hope to
help you understand how this operates in you – and – how you can choose to
harness its vast reservoir of personal power on your own behalf.)
So mine is not simply a story of
faith although you might be inclined to take it as that.
It is far more than that!
It is instead the story of how “the mysterious capability of the personality’s most powerful biological influence – the survival instinct as a dynamic mechanism – helps the individual to either reach the highest levels of consciousness, health, compassion and spirituality or to self-destruct.” This is what I call the Force.
I will write more of the beauty of the Force over this
coming holiday weekend as I celebrate the adventure of my writing this blog –
and – once again how grateful I am to be able to see, once again, and all the
gifts sight, spiritually and physically, bestows upon me.
In the meantime, visit my Exploring Your Dark Side: The Adventure Of A Lifetime blog site to read of some of the basics on how I know
the Force to work, for good or for evil.
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