I woke up this morning; much earlier than intended, feeling
crushed, decimated. So I buried my head into my pillow, turning myself over in
search of the replenishing power of more sleep.
For the next three hours, in and out of unsettled slumber, I
battled my way to regaining my inner strength; the creative power I rely upon
to craft the beauty that fills most of my days.
It had been a challenging week, this one just passed. A
blindness-threatening eye infection had sent me to Johns Hopkins Wilmer Eye
Institute five days out of seven for emergency care.
Thank goodness I have one of the world’s top ophthalmologists,
Dr. John Gottsch, as my doctor and am, thus, SEEING improvement today.
But it’s been rough, let me tell you!
There is no way I ever want to be blind again. But there that
menace to my well-being was, looming over me again this past week. And, the
ordeal, had emotionally caught up with me this morning as progress on the
purely physical level allowed me a respite.
My eye disease, keratoconus, diagnosed when I was a junior
in college, has been and will continue to be a fast moving roller coaster ride
when symptoms of its perpetual presence resurface.
One learns to live with it, have enormous gratitude for the
smooth times and lean into the turbulent
ones with the medical attentiveness required.
Fortunately, my life has been dominated by days of fun,
adventure and celebration. And, I am not much moved for new tests to my
endurance. I like the good times better. Of course, I did rise to the test and,
no doubt, am, again, a better person for facing the challenge.
Murat Yagan, our Beloved community development mentor,
recently deceased, guided us, his devoted students, to always be intent on refining
our skills as alchemists; turning the lead of ourselves into gold. By now the
discipline of the practice has become an art form in many of us.
However, today, I was weary from the near ceaseless practice
of this art this past week.
Yet evidenced by the way I feel now, uplifted as I look
outside my office window at the golden hues of sunlight shining on autumn
leaves, I feel my Inner Warrior Hero strength that fuels my life surging
through me again. I am an Amazon-bred woman in the spirit of the Caucasus
Mountains from which Murat originated, horseless though I be.
My Amazon-self, the part of me that I call Goddess-zilla,
feels ready to take on this new day now. A few hours of added sleep, a bit of telephone
hanging out with my Spirit Sister Sue and an innate, highly disciplined Inner
Warrior Hero, the alchemist within me have got me going again.
P.S. The Inner Warrior Hero as societal and political
transformer is to be the next coming attraction from New Horizons and myself so
keep your EYES OPEN FOR DEVELOPMENTS HERE, featuring our new --
with interactive
applications to help you transform the lead of your life into the gold.
Coming in November!
No comments:
Post a Comment