|What I saw when I |
Only those I’ve met or read of, returned from near death experiences, seem kindred to this way of being that is mine. Yet what I experienced and learned from being blind does not readily translate into words. Thus, if and when I can converse with these chosen people, dialogue is a bit like hunt and peck. Each attempts to build bridges of shared understanding where only hints of like-experience can be gleaned.
Perhaps my longing, when I was blind, to be able to write, again, for a public audience and revive the non-profit organization I founded, New Horizons Support Network, Inc. was a means of visioning myself as connected to the greater world in meaningful activities, as I had been before I lost my eyesight.
Admittedly, leadership has not exemplified integrity, often enough, in recent years. However, leadership has not ever been a quest for privilege, power or control over others in me. So with compassion for these seekers of something I am carrying; a certain wisdom and knowledge that is uniquely mine, I handle their challenges and confrontations with apparent patience and good nature.
But never do these encounters result in the fun and connectedness I’d like to be having with these exemplary individuals. This is the unknown something better for which I yearn; the camaderie of being known as one who is not an “other” that only trust, time and love can bring.
One newcomer to our volunteer team even had, somewhat, of a nightmare about how dangerously misleading I/we might be. I responded kindly to this test. Yet, it left me realizing that, at times, I am so weary of this long, hard trek that is my return to mainstream normalcy. Then, for a moment, I think I would do anything I could to simply return to the cocoon I built for myself during the years I was blind, living almost completely removed from the world. But this is not so simple, nor would I truly want it ever again.
Still, there are, at least, one hundred ways to Sunday. I have mine. Each other person has their own unique pathway. Mine is a hunger for the walk that is the art of leaning in toward one another with clarity and in peace and harmony. So I am hoping that things will turn round right, if we each do our best. Above and beyond all we do, all, need our "zones of peace."