My life, with its many emotional tones and habitual ways of seeing things, is torn upside down, these days, in the process of making it right side up.
This is how I am currently experiencing my Ethics Complaint resolution process, on an almost daily basis, as I become, more and more, totally immersed in the thick of it!
I have a wonderful, perfect for me, Ethics Committee representative to help me through the chaos the countless details represented by my complaint have brought into my life. She may even turn out to be my second angel for this life round; Sue, my BFF, Spirit Sister, being the first.
I am making monumental, unexpected in some areas, progress in a practical sense, but torn up inside; never settled in one place or another for long these days.
Sometimes I sink into what seems like a bottomless pit of darkness and terror, like waves drowning out all that is good, beautiful and healthy in my life.
I sit and stare out, blankly, at the trees I so love, surrounding me, on this gorgeous land I call home, seeing almost nothing, as the darkness takes me down into its abyss.
At other times, such as this morning, upon awakening, I feel profound calm and peace, seeing so far and wide it is as if I have climbed to the very top of the mountain, upon which I live, able to see clear and sheer beauty of this life I am living.
At these mountain peaks I realize, once more, the truth of my mountain of awe.
No wonder my New Horizons Board of Directors has deemed it necessary and appropriate that I cut back my hours, by half, to manage both the time and emotional pressures of my Ethics Complaint resolution process. It has become almost all-consuming, sometimes, as if I am living in a bubble of reality, known only to me, apart from all others.
Other times, I feel as if I am expanding so much into a new world view, peopled by others I had not genuinely noticed, or only viewed superficially. At these times, I seem to become separate, whole and surprisingly more connected than ever before in my life with textures and tones in all that surrounds me I had not noticed before.
Truly my mind and my very life is being altered by this experience!
With the guidance and support of my Ethics Committee representative, in an exceptionally fine way!
I thought you’d like to know.
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