The Fire In My Soul, Revisited

This post was originally published on SATURDAY, JANUARY 29, 2011 -- and updated today. 

Anastasia Update Comment: 

It is so weird – and wonderful that yesterday, on the exact day, eight years later, that I originally published the piece below, I felt such a hunger to articulate, almost verbatim the message of the title of that post  -- 'The Fire In My Soul."

Might it have been the polar vortex that had set my soul on fire, since keeping warm is a bit challenging these days?

Or was it that I can almost see my Jerusalem return up ahead?

"The Fire In My Soul" was hot, in me, when I wrote the article I had just posted to the New Horizons Small “Zones of Peace” Project site several days ago, “Reflections On Truth-Telling.” 

Alongside the passion that fueled that recent piece, I could feel the boiling energy that had generated it.

However, there wasn’t much more for me to say that I hadn’t already stated so, apparently, my mind, in its natural seeking-for-connections way, reflected back on the many other articles on “truth-telling” and its critical importance that I have been writing, over the years, on the three New Horizons sites for which I regularly write.

Maybe, too, I was a bit frustrated yesterday, after having spoken my piece, that, after having written on the subject of "truth-telling," consistently, for so many years, most people seem, to my mind, to be far more invested in complaining about the others, like YOU KNOW WHO I MEAN, who are lying --and -- not, conscientiously, pointing their fingers at their own carelessness with telling the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

Contemplating the various collections on “truth,” in one variation or another that I have previously created, this one that I am reprinting here, in its original form, was the one that most took hold of me, yesterday, in the state of passionate reflection in which I found myself.

So here I am, one day later, bringing my thinking of that earlier day, Saturday, January 29, 2011 into the present moment. 

Because I have a passion for truth, truth-telling and truth hearing, that just won’t quit!

So today, once again, along with sharing the post that follows, I am hoping that if the “truth” bug has not yet bitten you, with enough impact to get on board with making your truth-telling more and more a daily practice, maybe you will be able to connect with what I am sharing here enough to join me in the direction I am, now, heading and guiding New Horizons to take – into a full-scale, out and out, Truth Or Dare Movement, building on our “new” Truth Or Dare GAME.

The following post was originally published on SATURDAY, JANUARY 29, 2011, updated and edited today. 

SATURDAY, JANUARY 29, 2011

The Fire In My Soul

See that all-“bundled up for winter” being, sitting in the snow by a warm outdoor fire? 

That be a cartoon ME. 

And, the little guy? That be a cartoon of one of my three feral cats who will not let me any closer than in that cartoon -- unless I have food in my hands. 

Poor things. Out in the bitter cold!

I know not where they live when they are not in my dog house trying to keep warm. 

Sue and I have placed a pile of blankets out there for them. So far, so good. 

(Animal rights advocates, please know that so far I have not found a safe way to capture these cats and get them spay/neutered. I can’t even get close enough to them in a safe way to know yet whether they be male or female. Capturing feral cats is not a strength of mine. 

Others who come up here that are adept at cat relationships, such as Sue, haven’t risked it either.) 

Anastasia, Updated comment, January 30, 2019

Personally, I would do much better dealing BIG CATS, like a lion tamer or exorcist(ala Nancy Pelosi with Donald J. Trump) than I can with these little cat guys!  One of the rules being mutual agreement and the seeking of win-win in all areas of conflict. 

I have many success stories to recount on the subject of win-win. 

Wouldn’t it be nice if our Congress knew how to play their GAME from that foundation?

So far, today, it isn’t looking to be a likely prospect right now in these United States, as our President just announced to Congress there cannot be any win-win in his GAME; only Trump’s way or the highway. 

Back to the original

I just got back in from a shovel-fest with three of my kindly friends who made their way up here into the mountains to help dig my car out of the foot or so of snow that disabled most of us the past few days. 

(Anastasia Comment, January 30, 2019) 

See how win-win works!! People come together to help one another!)

On the way back to the house I stopped at the sacred fire circle on this retreat center’s land where I also live. Buried in snow though it is, I thought, even a few minutes out there would help me some to find my way -- through meditation and contemplation -- to a new level of sanity that I am presently seeking. 

I’ve been feeling frustrated to the max lately (particularly since the Arizona shooting a few weeks back.) 

The mediocrity of our society – and – worse its potential for, not only subtle violence, but mortal violence is making me a bit crazy. 

I know! I know! You feel it too! 

On a small scale (under 100 or so folks at a time) I know how to do better, much better. And, successfully guide vital community transformation. 

(Like the ”awe” we, collectively, created at Centennial.) 

Right conditions. Right people. 

Totally opposite from our local Jewish/Muslim controversy. Almost everything wrong there for me. Many lessons. Win or learn. Name of the game.) 

Before blindness the word was out around me that if “she (meaning me --- Marcia/Anastasia) can’t cure ‘em, nobody can.”  

I liked that skillfulness in me that came by way of the wonderful mentors I’ve had. 

The old New Horizons Truth Or Dare Game is top of the line -- my best way to help. 

And, it’s as viable now, I am coming to realize, as it was back then. 

Now I know (I didn’t even a few days ago) that I want to go back to that old New Horizons Game (in a new way, of course). I miss that old part of me. 

(Anastasia Comment – January 30, 2019  -- 

Goodness me! I am so intentional I/we have it back – the “old” GAME, now being played in a “new” GAME version!)

And, that old part of my life. Sometimes, we just need to go “home.” But – in a new way for the evolved me – and – the new conditions of our present circumstances (i.e. massive polarization throughout our country while at the same time we try to fight terrorism from outside forces.) 

How dumb can you be? Fighting inside your professed “zones of peace” when externally your very boundaries are threatened. 

(Mental health problems are another issue here. But not unrelated.) 

Yesterday the hunger for a neglected part of me – Game Master of the New Horizons Truth or Dare program) -- burst forth. 

This is the me that knows the gratification -- actually the awe -- of community connectedness and synergy at its most supreme. 

Exceptional people. Creating exceptional communities. 

I am sooooo frustrated! 

I do not know how to get from here to there so I can contribute my small part. 

So, yesterday and today, I started sharing my burning frustrations and yearnings with a few friends. 

You know what it got me? 

Three caring, generous friends to help dig my snow buried car out from under. 

Isn't that the cat's meow! 

Tomorrow, perhaps, we chop wood. Carry water. 

I’ll keep you posted. 

Thanks, Jami, Micki and husband.