How My Lifting Got So Heavy

Heavy lifting can be an actual physical stretch, or it can be a metaphor. I’m presently experiencing both.

On the metaphorical level there's more to my pressures of heavy lifting than I'm ready to say just now. I will refer to these as the “item to not be named just yet.” 

There is something HUGE brewing in my life, not unlike the Harvey Weinstein/Hollywood/Matt Lauer sexual harassment stuff.  But, first, I need to sort more of it out before I speak publicly of it; in private with my devoted supporters, like Sue.

But getting support is only one part of what I need to help me through the disorientation I am experiencing. I also need continued clarity of thought and increasing amounts of resilience in order to be able to sustain myself through whatever lies ahead; the ups and the downs. Perhaps most of all, I need to maintain my connection with the Source that I have that sometimes waivers. This I rely on most to guide me to my highest way of being.

Sue hauling wood at
our local sawmill that supplies us.

This is “heavy lifting!”

Especially while I’m also still healing, as I am now, from emergency eye surgery.

On the physical  level, though, picture it this way –

On the Friday before New Year’s Eve I ended up having an emergency cornea transplant; the details of which I will hold back for now. By the time I had returned home from Johns Hopkins Wilmer Eye Institute the following evening, snow had managed to cover the ground, making the drive home with my honorary daughter, Terry who had been with me throughout the ordeal, a bit challenging. Also the temperature had turned bitter cold. 

It was to remain that way, off and on, for, now, going on a month. 

Oh my, things were getting difficult!

Heavy lifting, up ahead!

It had been decided by my loved ones and myself that going home rather than elsewhere would be most comfortable and therefore healing for me. However, living in the mountains, as I do, and heating on wood, was to create quite a challenge, especially the wood heating part!

No bending and no lifting of objects over 15 pounds, I was told!

Not that I was much wanting to do these things anyway. 

Still the wood pile was going to be a fact of life for me – and a difficult one at that. 

In fact, my Spirit Sister Sue and I are quite diligent, from around August through March,  we do a substantial amount of hefting mountainous loads of wood to prepare for the cold winter months at both of our houses.

Anastasia on the woodpile

So, how was I to manage now without my usual physical strength -- on my own?

Imagine this, as to how I made it through that challenge -- 

Terry, dear daughter, actually came into my house, picked up my bathroom scale and started weighing slabs of wood to find the ones fifteen pounds and lighter. These she neatly stacked for me; some inside, some out, so that much of it could be reached waist high and above. 

Terry made it relatively easy for me that way. A few days later, Sue came and restocked the pile. 

In spite of this help, that’s when I became aware of heavy lifting!

With yesterday’s snow and cold weather, again, I am very much conscious of the heavy lifting and the no bending that healing from my eye surgery is demanding. Although I am now lifting up to twenty-five pounds of wood, it is the emotional lifting of the “item to not be named just yet” that is making me much more exhausted and disoriented these days.

For this the support of my friends to help me through is the hand up I need most right now. 

From this I gain the added strength I need for my “heavy lifting!”

With much gratitude for those who are helping me carry some of the weight!