Note about this article and subsequent related ones
Articles coming off of the Harvey Weinstein scandal and the related fallout from it will be archived under the title "Hot Pants and Motorcycles". Look for them, under that link, if you wish to follow my unfolding story and perspectives on this.
This will be necessary, as the deluge of reports, articles and commentaries inundating the media and internet are keeping many of us, certainly myself, pitched on the edge of near-constant reaction and response.
On my end, I can barely keep up with myself, as well as other women, putting out thoughts, feelings, experiences, verbally and/or on paper -- trying to integrate all that is being uprooted.
Let alone do some normal, ordinary day things.
What a wonderfully, liberating tsunami this is!
I am so grateful to be a part of it. Yet, it is all far off from fun!
As a result, my blog writing, at least on this site, feels as if it is almost becoming a stream of consciousness letter, to be shared with my site followers, especially women
Let me begin by recapping that yesterday I wrote of a most shocking discovery –
I Cannot (Yet) Find A Single Incident Of Sexual Harrssment Of Me In My Workplace!
Omg!!
NO sexual harassment of me – in the workplace!
Where does this leave me now, in alliance with my Sisters?
We definitely need to take a deep look at this.
There might be good things to learn from how I managed to escape. We must not miss the opportunity for this, if there is one!
But it is all so BIG to sort out right now!
So I will need to communicate in bits and pieces.
I might even take to writing on my blog like a diary. It is all so very much, pouring out faster than can be assimilated.
I was up late last night and the night before exploring the ramifications, for me, of the revelations I have discovered thus far. And, of course, going back and forth to my Smart Phone reading, online, what others are saying.
The night before I spent reviewing my history with men, especially in the work place. Last night I was searching my mind and heart to find out how I had, apparently, become this anomaly of never having experienced work place sexual abuse or harassment, up against, possibly millions of other less fortunate women.
To set the record straight, there are exceptions of what you might infer from this "never" statement of mine, regarding sexual abuse and harassment from men.
But these were on a personal level; same damn scenario, only the setting changes.
For me, it went like this --
I left two abusive husbands. The first was a sado-masochist. I will just let you imagine what that was like. Omg!!
And he was the one for whom I saved my Virgin self. What a honeymoon night and the ones that followed did that turn out to be!
It took me four years to leave him. By then I had only begun to understand what was being done to me, after my ob-gyn pressed me to talk to him about my sex life.
That’s how dumb and innocent I was back then!
This man is still punishing me, through my children and long term financial security, to this day.
He has done everything he can, and still does, on occasion, to discredit me. It never ends.
Yet!
Could a new day be a coming, I pray?
I have been, at least, liberated by the Harvey Weinstein scandal enough to find the words to lay out what has been happening to me by confronting my two children with their participation in the collusions and conspiracies that have kept me frightened, subdued and quiet all these many years.
The second husband I left was a rage-aholic and an alcoholic. He was really scary!
Fortunately, he was not and is not evil like Husband #1.
Yet both of these men have wrested my children from me with their money and power-over, used to warm the effort.
We are going to really start talking about this stuff -- BIG TIME -- from now on, for my part,
I am finding that there is an astounding difference in what I lived with in my first two marriages and how I have lived my life in the work place. Sorting this out looms above me.
Still I Cannot (Yet) Find A Single Incident Of Sexual Harrssment Of Me In My Workplace
I will come back to that shortly. It is quite a story, especially as it centers on my life as Founder and Executive Director of the U.S. “Male” Service!
How’s that for a business name! And, one that, somehow, just might have shielded me from sex abuse and harassment. If it did, I must give some of the credit to my Beloved press agent, Charlie Brotman.
We will come back to that shortly.
Right now I need a break from this outpouring. I think I should get some breakfast as it is already 10:30.
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