Hatred and Passion: Two Sides of A Coin

The breakthrough!

I thought the learning of new programs and procedures were to be the main challenges to surmount for my becoming a successful radio show host. But that was before “hatred” of my show reared its ugly head last week.

Hatred was a whole new ballgame for me. I had, definitely not anticipated it as any potential stumbling block for me on the way to my doing a successful talk radio show.  Especially not for me, given as I am to  being diligent to transcend even the smallest trace of the various shades and tones of anger; irritation, frustration, resentment, even annoyance.

But there it was – HATRED! Holding tight to the essence of me like a leech-sucking the blood of my being.  Well, given as I am to clearing away emotional debris such as this primitive distraction -- and -- consistently a seeker of clarity, there was naught for me to do but heed this devil maker, facing it head on, intent on effecting its demise as expediently as possible.

My first effort at clearing away this demon energy; this obstacle to my serenity and joy was, of course, a self-reflective scrutinizing. Unable to dispense with it in this solo fashion, next came my admitting to close associates the hold this darkness had on me, seemingly having a life force of its own; attached to me as its host (and I don’t mean in the radio show manner) as a totally unwanted guest.

Still unable to free myself from this vampire entity, last Sunday’s meeting of the New Horizons’ board of directors had me fessing up to its presence as a piece of our meeting agenda. Damn! How embarrassing!

We were called to be discussing New Horizons’ forward development. And, here was I, chairperson of the board and the organization’s executive director, needing to be honest that my own very primitive inner workings were jamming our progress. Damn that was humiliating!

Still in all, the New Horizons’ Board of Directors is a most special and unique governing body. And strange as it was to have an agenda item identified as “Anastasia hates her radio show” (it was, by the way, that specific), they took up the item as seriously as if it had been a budget problem, giving it the attention it truly did warrant. After all, if I’m not the Miss Piggy of New Horizons who else could it be?

This board, as it turns out, manages its business with every bit  of integrity and dedication to the principles that underlie our one initiative, the Small “Zones of Peace” Project, and honors the intent of our second, the Possible Human, Possible Society Study. We uphold the notion that it takes a village to put out a fire, even when that fire is merely the internal fire/passion/hatred of a member.

So, you know what happened after all this?

I think I did a very good show on the Possible Society In Motion Show last Thursday evening (Valentine’s Day, no less) and am on my way to feeling good about my show hosting, believing that this show is, now on its way to building toward the community impact we are intent upon.

Hatred and passion, I came to remember, after the fact, are merely two sides of a coin, called fire energy.

Bring them together and what do you have? The force of creativity!

 Stay tuned for more.