The Art of Seeing

Birthdays are beautiful most of the time. But then there was the one when we lost my toddler son on the beach and spent most of my birthday looking for him. Of course, I was totally desperate inside. Could my beautiful baby with the platinum blonde curls have walked himself right into the drowning water; one of a mother’s worst fears? Many hours later we found him, as you might have known, happily building sand castles with other toddlers he had discovered, wandering away from us.

That was the birthday, after finding my lost child, I discovered that I could and might need to celebrate my birthday for a month to properly mark it. One day could never cover all the downs and the ups that an annual commemoration – and – a review of one’s life to date -- might merit. So it began for me. Thus, today, the official day of remembrance for my birth, here I am on my main “honoring of Me —day,” as well as my most particular day to see where I need to clean up my act in the coming year ahead. 

Still I am under no obligation to see it all today. I do have my thirty days, if I need.

Seeing, you know, is of particular significance for me. This past year, alone, has had me, repeatedly, in and out of blindness (in my right eye). In the past few weeks there has been almost more blindness than sight. However, given that I have come to see my vision challenges to be, not only physical, but spiritual, I had to, again, ask myself what was this eye of mine signaling for me to see that, perhaps, I was somehow resisting.

So I came to today’s “trust the first thought that comes to mind” insight:

*The Abkhazian Dinner incident and its fallout truly brought a grievous loss to our organization; the loss of a great deal of time spent gathering data and building rapport with Possible Human, Possible Society Study participants and a stinging loss of beautiful connections with a particular group that seemed pregnant with possibilities to share with others of cherished hopes and dreams and visions. Perhaps it was this that I didn’t quite want to see wholly, as the impact began to unfold. Yet with the loss and the letting go came liberation and expanded clarity.

Perhaps it was all just as it must be; loss, liberation and expanded clarity going hand in hand. This, the art of seeing suggests to me. Would that such a spiritual insight could restore my lost eyesight.

*The Abkhazian Dinner was a wonderful event, nonetheless. And, few knew of the “incident.”